Forbidden Love
by Kiheada.Ray.T
Summary: Shinn and Athrun have just recently discovered their feelings for each other onboard the Minerva. When break time comes, Athurn discovers a family member no one knew Shinn had. Will their relationship grow with the war, or diminish? And what will happen after the war is over? 3some AxSxK, LacusxCagalli
1. Chapter 1: Hesitation

**Forbidden Love**

**Chapter 1: Hesitation**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed or the characters, only the plot of this fan fiction.**

_Yep, I'm creating another story I probably won't update in a long time. Oh well, ideas are ideas, gotta get them out of my head somehow!_

* * *

He tossed and turned, fighting the nightmare, sweat pouring from his skin. He hated this nightmare, the memory of his family being killed; their blood splattered everywhere-Mayu's arm. He screamed and kicked, trying to wake up.

He felt strong arms stop him, he didn't know who or what it was, so he struggled harder. He heard a voice call his name, and it sounded familiar. _'Athrun?' _he wondered and finally awoke, gasping for air.

He was sitting up, in Athrun's arms. Wait, what!? "W-what are you doing!?" Shinn stammered and pushed himself away from the older teen. The said bluenette looked confused "I was trying to wake you up because you were having a nightmare." He stated as if it was perfectly normal.

Shinn seemed wary of him for a moment, raising an eyebrow and looking expectant for a better explanation. There was an awkward silence, and Shinn glanced over at Rey who was facing the wall, his pillow over his head.

"Well, er, I'm just gonna go now, are you sure you're alright?" Athrun asked him. "Yeah, I'm fine, Zala." Shinn replied in a harsher tone he had meant. Athrun looked hurt, and Shinn bit his lip, his eyes apologetic.

"Sorry, it's just-," Shinn began but Athrun cut him off. "It's ok." He said with a smile and began to leave. Shinn opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it after realizing there was nothing he could say.

You see, Athrun and Shinn had only recently discovered they had feelings for each other. Absurd, I know, but don't we all know that boys usually tease the ones they love? That was obviously Shinn's excuse, but Athrun seemed to be intrigued by the younger boy's rash and impulsive behavior. However, he and Kira had been seeing each other on-and-off throughout the first war, so at first the future Chairman of PLANT rejected his feelings for Shinn.

It didn't help much either when the red-eyed, sixteen year old made it a habit of yelling at Cagalli (a good friend of Athrun's), and disobeying orders, especially from the FAITH soldier. And yet, that was exactly the reason why Athrun took a liking to him, he was so different from the mild and quiet Kira that his blood boiled at the mere mention of Shinn Asuka's name!

So, after much debating with themselves, the boys came to term with their feelings, and coincidentally spilled the beans at the same time, thus feeling relieved that neither of them would freak out and gun-ho it out of there.

So it was that Shinn watched as Athrun, his current boyfriend, walked out of his room for the third time that week after having to wake him because of nightmares. The coordinator sighed and laid back down, staring at the ceiling, before turning on his side and closing his eyes, waiting for sleep to come.

* * *

"_All hands to level One Battle Stations! I repeat! All hands to level One Battle Stations!" _came the alarm and Meyrin's voice on the intercom. Shinn groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. He finally got back to sleep around three in the morning when he had woken up around midnight, and now it was 6:45, great, perfect timing for the Earth Alliance to attack yet again.

'_Stupid Naturals, they are definitely gonna pay for this.' _Shinn thought angrily and practically threw the sheets off of him to get his clothes on. Rey was already up and throwing some pants on, casting a glare Shinn's way before running out into the hall towards the hangar and locker rooms.

Shinn hurried quickly and ran after him, when he reached the locker room, Athrun was already there, he tried to ignore him, but it was growing increasingly hard with the looks Rey was sending the two of them.

Athrun had told Shinn to keep their relationship a secret, because it wouldn't look very good for them if the council found out. Of course Shinn obliged, reveling in the fact that he could still get away with disobeying orders and yelling at his superior with impunity.

However, Rey seemed to have caught on and was on the verge of blackmail, since Shinn has been keeping him up most of the nights that weren't spent fighting with screaming and thrashing about in his bed.

"Come on, Shinn." He heard Athrun say and snapped out of his trance, he nodded and finished putting on his suit (which looked really good on him, wink) and then followed the rest of the crew into the hangar.

Meyrin gave him the clear and he flew out into space, waiting for orders, when he saw a huge fleet Earth Alliance ships and Gundams. "What's going on?" he asked no one in particular.

"It seems that the EA are fed up with losing. That's a pretty large fleet for just one Zaft ship." Luna responded, looking slightly worried yet angry. "Oh well, it'll just make it all that sweet when we win again." Shinn smirked and started attacking nearby GOUFs.

Athrun shook his head with a small smile and also leapt into battle. "Shinn, be careful, you do realize we're outnumbered, be on your guard!" Captain Gladys told him. "Don't worry, they're easy to beat." Shinn replied and demonstrated this fact by blowing up his enemy.

Talia sighed and said, "Just don't make me remind you, ok?" and he nodded before returning his full attention back to the EA, who were putting up an impressive fight. "Athrun, make sure he doesn't get himself killed, ok?" she told the emerald-eyed soldier and he nodded as well, already keeping a sharp eye on his cocky boyfriend.

"I wonder why they don't just give up already; obviously we're no match for them." Shinn wondered out loud after defeating two EA Gundams at the same time. He smirked when a nearby enemy Gundam turned toward him, obviously hearing what he had to say.

However, he soon went back to being serious, if not a little taken aback, because the Gundam that heard him was Sting, and he was far from amused. _'Crap,'_ Shinn thought as Sting attacked.

"Easy to beat, huh?" the Extended asked and bombarded him with beam cannon attacks. Shinn managed to dodge them and fire back, but his opponent was obviously as skilled as he was, because he too dodged his attacks and even managed to hit Shinn a few times.

Shinn growled and lunged forward, saber ready for combat. "Shinn! Be careful!" he heard Athrun yell. He felt himself grin at hearing the concern in his boyfriend's voice. Sting met his saber and they soon began a "saber-fight", and although sword-fighting (not to mention saber-fighting) was one of his strong-points, Shinn still slashed Sting's arm that was holding the saber.

"Ha!" he yelled triumphantly as he beamed. He heard Sting growl and threaten, "It's not over yet! You think you're invincible, hot-shot? I'm about to wipe that arrogant look off your face!"

Shinn growled in turn. Nobody called him arrogant except Athrun, hot-shot he could handle, but arrogant?

Although he was relatively close to Sting's Gundam (Chaos, I think it is) Shinn still whipped his big beam cannon right in his face and pressed the big red button (ok, so maybe it's not a big red button, but bear with me people, I've only seen episodes six-fourteen or whatever, not much battling going on, I can tell you that much.).

"Shinn!" he heard Athrun yell again. _'What now!?' _he asked himself. He had shot Sting square in the middle of his gundam's chest, or so he thought, Sting barely managed to dodge, so the cannon nicked the left side of his Gundam.

But it wasn't that that made Shinn realize why he was in trouble, it was the crash that sent him forward into his cockpit that made him realize that Auel had come to give Sting backup.

"Great, I'm bleeding." Shinn said to himself as blood trailed out of his mouth, down his chin, his head hurt as well, and he felt the steady throbbing of an oncoming migraine. Sting and Auel joined together and were now attacking Shinn with such ferocity he barely managed to defend himself.

Yes, he was Minerva's ace pilot, yes, he took out six large ships during seed mode at the beginning of his first war, yes, he had survived numerous battles with the impressive and legendary Freedom and its pilot, but two extendeds who were taking out quite a vengeance were almost too much for the young coordinator.

Almost.

With one last pull at his energy reserves, Shinn managed to go into SEED mode, and almost instantly the battle turned to his favor. His strength, speed, and intelligence enhanced, and he smashed into Auel while firing at Sting, also dodging Auel's attempted slashes with his saber.

Athrun finally got away from Stellar enough to blast Auel away from Shinn before he was about to slice through his cockpit. "Thanks." He heard Shinn mutter before the raven-haired boy blasted Sting's legs off, Sting flying upward before-hand because he was aiming for the cockpit as well.

"Athrun, Shinn, the Earth Alliance is pulling back, fight off anyone who decides to ignore their superiors for now until they completely retreat." Talia ordered. They nodded and said, "Yes ma'am." before retaliating against a nearby GOUF who obviously hadn't heard the retreat being ordered.

Shinn returned to normal as they were coming back to the Minerva, but was oddly silent. _'Either he's amazed at how close to death he was, or just surprised that someone actually helped him, and that he actually needed to be helped.' _Athrun thought to himself, going more for the latter opinion, knowing Shinn.

"Good job, boys." Captain Gladys greeted them when they came down from their Gundams. She was smiling despite just being in a battle only two minutes earlier, and the boys smiled back and saluted.

"Yeah, good job, Shinn, taking on those two Extendeds." Luna praised him, who slightly blushed and smiled. "Yeah, but if Athrun hadn't come in, he'd be dead." Meyrin spoke up, eyeing the older teen with sparkling eyes.

"Er, right, um, thanks…again." Shinn stammered. Athrun turned to him and realized that he was bleeding. "Shinn, you're bleeding." He stated. "Oh, I know its fine." Shinn replied and spit out some blood, the two girls gave a disgusted look while Athrun and Rey looked merely amused, if not annoyed.

"Well, I'm hungry, come on, Meyrin, let's get some breakfast-er-lunch, I mean." Luna said and started to leave. Meyrin followed her after saluting Athrun and giving him a sly grin, and Luna turned around and smiled at Shinn, who smiled back.

Rey rolled his eyes and "accidentally" bumped into Shinn as he too went out of the hangar. Shinn glared at his back, and Rey turned to smirk at him. Shinn raised a brow and was about to ask what that was all about when he heard Athrun clear his throat beside him.

"What?" he asked, noticing a faint glare in those emerald eyes. Athrun raised a brow and asked, "What do you mean 'what'? You're acting like Luna's your girlfriend, not me as your boyfriend." Athrun said with a pout of playful jealousy.

Shinn, however, looked anything but playful. "I can still be her friend, can't I? Besides, isn't the whole idea of keeping our relationship a secret is to not let anyone know I actually like you?" he questioned.

Athrun frowned. "Relax, Shinn, I was only kidding, of course you can still be her friend, I just felt a little left out, that's all, I guess the rush of the battle erased all my logic." He said, again trying to poke at Shinn's playful side, expecting a smug grin to grace the crimson-eyed soldier's lips at Athrun's insult to himself.

What he didn't expect was a scowl, which was what he got, and Shinn walked briskly away, toward the hangar. Athrun frowned deeper and went after him. "What's wrong? Are you really that mad that I saved you from getting killed back there? Come on, Shinn, how prideful can you be?" he asked angrily.

Shinn whirled around at him in the middle of taking his suit off. "Excuse me? I don't care who you are, don't ever talk to me like that! I didn't need your help, I was perfectly fine!" he yelled, glaring hatefully at him.

"Yeah, perfectly fine for being dead! Shinn, I was trying to save you, alright, I care about you, not that you'd know anything about that emotion!" Athrun snapped but soon regretted his words. He knew he had hit a raw spot in Shinn and saw it in his pained yet angrier expression.

"Don't get mad at me because my family was killed and I'm grieving for them, Zala. You shouldn't go around expecting everyone to have smiling faces with everything that's going on. I don't care that you're family is dead as well, you seem to think that if you can keep going without being bitter that everyone else can too, well, I have news for you, _some just can't_ and that includes me." Shinn said bitterly and walked away from him.

Athrun stared after him, a sharp pain in his chest at his words. He knew that Shinn was grieving, ok, but that didn't mean he could be angry at the world! Athrun felt himself getting steadily and steadily angrier at the boy, but closed his eyes, suppressing the rage.

'_He didn't mean to say that, he was just angry, like I was, I'll talk to him in a while when we've both cooled down.' _He thought to himself and changed out of his flight suit.

By the time he came around Shinn and Rey's quarters, there was no response, so Athrun left him alone. Talia had told them that tomorrow they would be heading back to the PLANT for a much needed break to repair the ship and let the crew see their families.

* * *

"SHINN-CHAN!" someone called above the roar of the shuttle-airport. Shinn's brow furrowed and he glanced around, wondering who could be calling his name. He didn't exactly know where he was going to spend this break, and before the battle Athrun had suggested coming with him.

Now Athrun was standing beside him, waiting patiently for either a grunt of acknowledgement or a glare of disproval. What he didn't expect was the young boy to look up at him and ask, "Did you tell anyone I know I was coming?" to which he responded, "No, but you'd better watch out…oops!…too late."

A girl had come running towards them, beaming and waving her arms madly, and tackled Shinn to the floor. Athrun was amused, yet confused as to who this girl was to approach the aggressive coordinator in this manner.

Shinn, in turn, looked equally amused until he got a good look at her face…or was it his face?

He blinked twice, then smiled widely and shouted, "RAYVEN!" and hugged her who hugged him back, saying, "I was wondering when you'd remember me!" Athrun helped them up and gasped at the resemblance.

The girl looked no older than Shinn himself, with long black hair and sharp, red eyes-much like Shinn's. Her face bore a strong resemblance as well, and he wondered if she were a long-lost sister or something, obviously they were related.

"Where's Aunt Clarice?" Shinn asked after they shared a few jokes. Rayven got quiet, and a forlorn look crossed her face as she suddenly found the ground more interesting to look at.

"Shinn, she passed away a while ago, the cancer got to her, she seemed happy though, she only wished she could see you one last time." She finally answered. Shinn's rare smile was quickly wiped away at these words, and the cold, hard expression Athrun was more used to resurfaced.

"Oh, Shinn, we all knew it would get her sooner or later; don't dwell on it, she left you a letter, if you want to read it; but come on, I'll drive you home-oh, who is this?- I'm sorry, I didn't even see you!" Rayven said and looked at Athrun.

"Athrun Zala." Athrun answered as he continued to look at Shinn with concern. "I see," Rayven said and kind of nudged Shinn, who seemed to have come out of a trance.

"Oh right, this is Athrun, my, uh, well, er…" Shinn stammered and glanced at Athrun. "Boyfriend." Athrun clearly stated. Rayven seemed surprised, yet smiled and said, "Really, 'bout time little Shinni got someone in his life."

Shinn flushed red and said, "Oh come off it! It's not like _you _have a boyfriend, or do you?" and raised a brow in question. She sighed and roller her eyes. "Listen, we really need to get going, am I taking you as well, or do you have a ride, I don't mind, really I don't." Rayven said and motioned to Athrun.

"Um, I was gonna get a cab or something and go to ORB, but I haven't made anything final yet, so if it's really no problem…" Athrun said. Shinn glanced at them uncomfortably and suddenly asked her, "You're not going to blackmail or tease me like you did last time are you?" with a narrowed suspicion in his eyes.

"No! Now come on, I have dinner reservations, and _I'm _driving." She said and eyed Shinn. He mock-glared and they followed her out of the airport and into the parking lot.

"So, er, you guys are cousins?" Athrun finally asked. "Yes." Shinn answered as they were getting into the nice Mustang. It resembled the new 2007 ones, and was black, with red streaks on the sides. Shinn got shotgun and Athrun got into the back, behind him after they stowed away their luggage in the trunk.

"So, where exactly are we going?" Shinn asked as his cousin exited the airport and drove down a highly traveled road. "First, to the apartment I've been renting since mum passed-Shinn I told you don't worry! She's in a better place now!-," Rayven began but Shinn shuddered when she said it so casually like that.

"Anyways, then we're going to a little restaurant to have some dinner, I already told them three people were coming anyway, just in case." She continued and smiled back at Athrun, who smiled back.

"Why? Were you expecting someone else?" Shinn questioned. "Actually, yes, I wanted you to meet my boyfriend, but…well, I'll tell you later." She said dismissively. They drove on in silence, although Shinn tried to question her further, but she wouldn't hear of it.

Athrun sat there, musing about these recent developments, it seemed that Shinn had forgotten about their little spat when he met up with his cousin, which was good, but then it presented the question: Why didn't Shinn tell anyone he still had family? That question, however, wouldn't be answered for a while, so Athrun stuffed it in the back of his mind at the moment.

Rayven seemed like a nice girl. She was short, but obviously sixteen or seventeen, and quite mature. He expected that that's what Shinn was like before the war started, carefree and happy. He smiled at that thought, he had seen Shinn smile after he won great victories in battle, but he seemed to return to his gloomy state soon afterward, or to his arrogant smugness.

Yes, like Shinn said before, only Athrun could call him arrogant.

* * *

**-Author's Note: Ok, so it still didn't go as planned, I still got the important stuff in, I decided to leave off at a slight cliffy because this was getting long and I'm not sure if Fanfiction is working again, as in, it hasn't let me download any new documents. Soooo, please review and tell me what you think! Peace out!-**


	2. Chapter 2: Explanations

**Chapter 2: Explanations**

**Disclaimer: Me no own, bleh. I only own Rayven, because she is me…except with different names…yeah…on with the ficcy.**

* * *

They arrived at Rayven's apartment a while later, Shinn and Athrun unloaded their luggage (with Rayven asking if they needed help) and put them in the guest room. "We have about half an hour, so if you wanna freshen up or anything go ahead, the bathroom is right there." She told them and motioned toward a bathroom in a hallway near the guest room.

"Thanks." They replied and Athrun went into the bathroom. Shinn went up to his cousin who was putting some things away in the kitchen and gave her an expectant look.

"What?" she asked, not looking at him. "The last time I talked to you, you almost threw me out of your room in a mad rage because I pulled a nasty prank on your latest boyfriend who I suspected was cheating on you." Shinn told her.

"Yes, and you were right. So why are we talking about this?" Rayven asked dismissively, still not looking at him. "That was about four years ago, Rayven, you were stressed out because Aunt Clarice's condition was getting worse and your boyfriend was running off spending time with everyone but you, as well as school work was getting increasingly difficult.

"Ray, you didn't even acknowledge the fact that my parents were killed and I was going into war, I haven't heard anything from you since that night before we left and you were screaming at me! I thought I'd never hear from you again all over some stupid fight! Why have you all-of-a-sudden remembered you have a cousin?" he asked with a frown.

She sighed. "Look, I was mad then, I was stupid, childish, being immature because I couldn't face the fact that a guy I really liked didn't return the feelings and was just using me! Mom's cancer returned and was escalating badly, and there were rumors of another war! School was cracking down because they knew that most of the youth would go to war and die, and when I heard about what happened it was too late!

"I didn't even know where you were, when you told Zaft what happened they contacted mom and told her what you said, so naturally she told me, but they didn't give us a way to contact you because you were in the middle of the Zaft Academy course and they were trying to get you into the Elite and onboard the Minerva, we had no way to ask if you were alright!

"And then when I finally found out where you were I freaked out because I knew you might die or get seriously injured, but we could never work out a way to see you when you returned to Earth, because Aunt Clarice had a lot of doctor's appointments and procedures. I had a job and school to manage. Shinn, this was the first time in two years that I was able to meet you and ask how you're doing, and unfortunately it was after mom died, she wanted to come too," Rayven told him and looked away, tears shining in her eyes.

"I didn't know, but, why are you acting so…so, so cheerful!? You act like none of this happened! Like we're just spending vacation with each other!" Shinn heard himself shouting.

"First of all I should remind you not to judge someone when you've only been in their company for about ten minutes; second of all I'm only trying not to get depressed, unlike you! You know how I am, I move on, maybe a little too quickly, but I accept the fact that they're dead and know they're in a much better place than this foul world! We're both orphans, Shinn, we both have seen loss, a lot of people have seen loss these days!

"I don't like it, this is way I would've stopped you from going out to war, but it's too late now, I'm just glad you're alive!" Rayven told him.

Shinn was about to respond when he noticed Athrun standing there, looking at them apprehensively, as if he were thinking about leaving during their "private spat". Taking this opportunity to get out of the conversation, Rayven smiled at him and said, "Hey, sorry about that, I think we should get going by now, traffic might be bad."

Shinn suppressed the urge to glare at her and turned away. "You're still gonna tell me about the recent boyfriend problem." He said playfully, and she smiled back at him and nodded before leading them out of the door.

She locked the apartment and then they drove off towards the restaurant. As they neared it, Rayven's smile broadened, and Shinn's eyes widened.

"Ray, where on earth are you taking us? This is a really expensive restaurant!" Shinn exclaimed. "It's also a good restaurant, it's where David took me on our first date, they have really good shrimp, I've been coming back whenever I had the money." She told him.

"Are you sure you can afford this?" Shinn asked. "Duh, or else I wouldn't have made reservations!" she answered and pulled into a parking spot.

They were at Daruma, a really good Japanese steakhouse, where they cooked right in front of you in the Japanese custom. Rayven beamed as they got out, while Shinn was shocked, his family wasn't exactly poor, but they weren't rich either, Athrun, however, was used to it, and knew of this place.

"Nice choice." He simply stated, while Shinn whirled around and gaped at him. "My father was one of the richest men in PLANT, remember?" he said and smiled when Shinn flushed red and said, "Oh yeah, I bet you practically live at this place, don't you?" he said almost reproachfully.

Athrun merely stuck his tongue out and Rayven laughed as she led the way into the restaurant. She told the waitress about her reservations and they were led to their seats.

"So, what would you guys like, don't get too expensive on me, I only have so much." Rayven said and chuckled. Athrun flashed a smile and Shinn nudged him with his foot under the table.

"What?" he asked. "You can flirt with my cousin but I can't flirt with Luna?" Shinn asked quietly with raised eyebrows. Athrun smirked and turned back to the menu, Shinn scowled, and Athrun glanced his way, nudging his foot.

"Hello, my name is Akita and I'll be your server, what would you like to drink?" a waitress asked when the table was full. "Coke, please." Athrun answered. She nodded and wrote it down. "Dr. Pepper." Shinn answered. She again nodded and turned to Rayven. "Dr. Pepper as well please." She said and smiled and the waitress again nodded and smiled back.

She took the rest of the table's orders and then left to get the drinks. "You'll love the soup; it's a clear broth with mushrooms and onions, really good." Rayven told Shinn. "Cool." He replied.

Athrun observed them and looked over the menu. When the waitress arrived and brought the drinks, she took their orders. "I'll have some Teriyaki chicken, please." Athrun ordered, deciding not to spend too much of Rayven's money when he really wanted Lobster. "What type of salad dressing?" she asked. "Italian." He replied with a charming smile.

She blushed and smiled back, turning to Shinn. "Shrimp, please, with Thousand Island dressing." He replied with a sly smile. She blushed deeper and smiled again, turning to Rayven. "The same, please." The girl told her and the waitress took the rest of the orders.

"Wow, you guys are like twins!" Athrun exclaimed. "Oh, well, our mothers were twins." Rayven replied and Shinn's smile faded slightly. She gave him a sharp look and his smile widened again, but he cast a glance at Athrun.

The waitress arrived with the soup and salad, and not long after her was the chef. "Hello, hello, I am Noshema and I will be your chef for this evening." he said and began reading the orders to make sure they're right. "Oh, and could you put extra shrimp sauce, no ginger." Rayven told him and he nodded.

Shinn gave her a questioning look and she said, "Shrimp sauce makes the shrimp taste really good, I don't ever use the ginger, but I'd try both if I were you." and he nodded.

The chef began cooking and making jokes, in which they laughed and/or joked back. The meal was pleasant and Shinn ended up stealing some of Rayven's shrimp sauce. Athrun chuckled and thought about how closely they behaved, and wondered if he could get Rayven to help him with some of the anger issues he's been having with Shinn.

When the meal was over Rayven got a box to put the rest of her food in for lunch the next day, and they drove back to the apartment.

"Wow, that was really good, thanks, cuz." Shinn said and chuckled. "Your welcome. Ok, who's sleeping where?" she asked, looking at them. "Uh," Shinn glanced at Athrun. "The couch is quiet comfortable, I only have one other guest room." Rayven told them.

The boys didn't say much at first, Shinn glanced nervously at Athrun, while Athrun stood, calmly, waiting for what Shinn wanted to do, it didn't matter to him, but they've never slept together (yes, this is very early into their relationship) and Shinn didn't know if he wanted to take that next step just yet.

"Well, I'll leave you to decide, I'm gonna take a shower, the blankets are in the closet if you want them." She told them and went into her room to fetch her pajamas.

Shinn turned to Athrun, looking slightly nervous and uncomfortable, his mouth felt dry for some reason. "Um, so, where do you want to sleep? I can sleep on the couch, it won't bother me." He said.

Athrun smirked and went toward him. "Shinn, I know you're nervous, but I'd really rather have you beside me in bed, just sleeping, nothing else if you don't want to get too ahead." He said and flashed a charming smile as he wrapped his arms around the boy's waist.

"Well yeah, but, I'm sixteen and you're eighteen, what if we get in trouble?" Shinn asked, biting his lip at the closeness. "We'll only get in trouble if you're cousin tells the police or someone that might tell the police, and I highly doubt she'd do that, besides, we're not having sex, just sharing a bed, but I understand if you'd rather sleep on the couch or whatever." Athrun told him.

Shinn still seemed nervous, but a little voice inside his head was yelling at him. _Why are you so nervous? This is your chance to be bold! You're no coward! Sleep with him, maybe even rough him up a bit, show him whose boss! SHOW HIM SOME BACKBONE!_

Shinn regained calm and nodded, grinning slyly. "Fine." He said and stared at Athrun's emerald eyes as the owner grinned and bent down to kiss him.

They changed into their pajamas while practically making out and got into the bed. Rayven came out of the shower, already dressed for bed, and started calling for Shinn.

Shinn gasped and sat up. "Rayven! Oops." He whispered and said sorry as he scurried out of the bed. "Oh, hey, so what did ya'll decide?" she asked and raised her eyebrows at his ruffled hair and bruised lips, and also lack of adequate air supply.

"Um, y-yeah, I'm gonna sleep in the bed with Athrun, is that ok?" he asked her, looking unsure and nervous all over again. "Yeah sure, just try not to get too out of control, I have neighbors, and plus I'd rather not have to come in there and shut you up." Rayven told him and giggled at the face he made.

His face matched his eyes as he stammered, "N-no! We-we're not gonna h-have sex! We're j-just sleeping together! This is the first time we've shared a bed!" "Ok, ok, calm down! Sheesh! Don't worry, relax, its ok!" she said and giggled more.

"Stop giggling!" he shouted and quickly clamped his hand over his mouth. She tried to control her giggle fits and said, "Shinn, it's perfectly fine, I'm still a virgin as well, but if he tries anything and you're not ready yet, don't let him-," Rayven began but Shinn saw Athrun trudge in and he clamped his hand over her mouth.

"Ok, ok, um, yeah, I'll do that then." He said, his face still red. Athrun laughed and wrapped his arms around Shinn. "Come on, let's let your cousin sleep." He said and pulled him backwards, back into the bedroom.

Shinn cast a worried glance at Rayven again before letting Athrun pull him into the bedroom and close the door.

Rayven sighed and went into her own room. _'I hope Athrun doesn't get too out of hand with him, I've never seen him so nervous except when he got his first girlfriend and went on his first date! Although, this is probably the same, since this is the first boyfriend I've heard of.' _She thought to herself as she got under the covers.

She moaned in relief at the soft mattress underneath and closed her eyes to sleep.

Shinn and Athrun were making out again on the bed; however, Shinn was more in danger of getting out of hand, and Athrun (being the good boy that he is) had to stop him before he went for more. Shinn, of course, blushed again and didn't say much afterward, and Athrun slightly regretted telling Shinn to calm down.

The next morning dawned bright and hopeful, but yet, how long would it last?

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**-Author's Note: Ok, this chapter is shorter, just because I can't concentrate real well right now. Hopefully you like it! Please review and tell me what you think, Shinn might be a little OOC, and if he is, feel free to give me tips on how to make him more himself! Also, any questions you have I'd gladly answer if you leave a url or e-mail for me to contact you (sometimes people forget to sign in and leave reviews, but I can't reply). Peace out!-**


	3. Chapter 3: Laughter Is Freedom

**Chapter 3: Laughter Is Freedom**

**Disclaimer: I don't own GSD. Only Rayven and the plot. Major OOCness by Kira and Athrun.**

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"Wake up sleepy head!" Rayven shouted and started giggling again. Shinn groaned and turned over, pulling the covers over his head. "Come on Shinn! It's already 1:00!" Rayven said again and tried to yank the covers off of him. "Noooo! Leave me alone! I hardly ever get any sleep! Ask Athrun!" he yelled and she sighed.

Athrun was at the door, laughing. "He's right, he keeps having nightmares, and with the Earth Alliance attacking us day and night sleep is a rare thing." He said. Shinn's face grew red again and he growled.

"Awww, little Shinni still has nightmares!? I remember when we watched this scary movie together and he started crying, and then he wanted to sleep with me because he was too scared! Oh it was so funny!" Rayven said and Shinn growled again and tackled her.

"Shut up! I didn't cry I had something in my eye! Will you quit trying to embarrass me!?" he yelled and she giggled while blushing madly. "What?" he asked and looked at Athrun who was laughing uncontrollably. He glared at him and looked down.

"Oh." He said and went to get some clothes on. "Thanks for taking my pants off while I was asleep, Athrun." Shinn growled sarcastically. This time Athrun shrugged and Rayven got up with a suspicious expression.

"That was you! I didn't touch your pants." Athrun said defensively as his face grew red. "Keep telling yourself that." Shinn replied with a slight smirk. Rayven's eyebrows were raised and he shrugged and sweat-dropped before leaving the room.

Rayven smirked and tiptoed into the bathroom where Shinn was getting his shirt on. "Gotcha!" she said and started tickling him. "EEEP!" Shinn squealed and started laughing. "Ahhh! No!" he yelled and tried to stop her. Athrun hadn't found his tickle spot yet, and he was hoping he wouldn't.

Athrun ran into see what was going on and found his boyfriend laughing on the ground with Rayven on top of him, tickling him in the stomach. "Quit!" Shinn yelled and laughed some more. "But you're laughing! You sound so cute when you laugh!" Rayven teased.

She was right; he had a really cute laugh. "Athrun! Help!" Shinn called and struggled with his cousin. "Ok, Rayven, I think we should stop harassing him for now." Athrun told her and she got up. She stuck her tongue out at the panting Shinn and giggled before skipping out and preparing lunch.

"Ow, my stomach." Shinn moaned and clutched his stomach. "Come on, Shinn." Athrun said and helped him up. The boy scowled at him and turned to finish getting dressed. "What? I helped you!" Athrun said and wrapped his arms around Shinn.

Shinn looked uncomfortable and pushed his arms off. "Just quit ok?" he asked quietly. "Shinn what's wrong?" Athrun asked with a concerned look. Shinn stopped what he was doing and glanced at Athrun. He looked like a kid about to confess to his dad that he stole some money out of his wallet.

"N-nothing Athrun, I'm just tired." Shinn replied with a sheepish grin. Athrun knew he had more to say, so he crossed his arms and waited. Shinn glanced at him and began to squirm.

"Quit looking at me like that! I didn't do anything!" he finally said. "Then what's bothering you?" Athrun asked softly. Shinn opened his mouth to say something but then looked away. "Shinn, if you don't think this is working out you can tell me." Athrun told him.

Shinn looked up at him. "It's not that, I'm just…" Shinn began and bit his lip. "Not used to being in a relationship." He muttered with an ashamed look and walked out quickly. Athrun looked surprised. Surely a young man as sexy as Shinn would have been in a lot of relationships, then again, Shinn didn't seem the type to have a lot of girlfriends.

Athrun followed him and saw him standing next to his cousin, watching her make lunch. "Are you awake now?" she asked him. "Kinda." He murmured and watched the food being made.

Rayven smiled and poked a piece of chicken out of the pan and held it in front of Shinn. "Open." She said. He gave her a "Are you kidding me?" look and she said, "Open your mouth and taste it for me!"

He shrugged and opened his mouth and she plopped it in. "Mmm." He said and smiled. "Is it good?" she asked. He nodded his head up and down and tried to grab some more. "No! Bad! Go sit down!" she said playfully after slapping his hand away and he pouted and trudged over to a chair at the table.

Athrun smiled and sat down next to him. Shinn didn't look at him and so Athrun got a napkin and wrote: _Hi _and passed it to him with a smile. That was how their relationship started. Athrun had passed him a note that said: _Hi _on it after seeing Shinn looking depressed.

Shinn smiled when he read it and glanced at him, and wrote back: _Hi _and slipped it to him. Athrun chuckled and wrote: _So is this your first relationship? I thought you had a lot of girlfriends before joining Zaft, with the looks Luna and Meyrin always gave you. _And Shinn blushed when he read it.

_Well, this is only my second relationship, I had a girlfriend before, but she didn't really work out. Luna has asked me out a couple of times, but I didn't really want to get involved because of the war. _Shinn wrote back.

"Passing notes? This isn't school, you boys can talk freely, ya know, don't mind me." Rayven teased. "Sorry." Athrun said and looked to Shinn who started shoving food on his plate.

"So how come you chose to go out with me instead of Luna?" Athrun asked him and he almost choked on his food. Rayven sat listening, waiting for his response. Shinn grabbed the napkin and wrote: _DON'T SAY IT OUT LOUD! _Athrun chuckled. "Why not? Your cousin knows we're going out." Athrun said and smiled amusedly.

"Well, I don't really know why." He said and started eating again. "Oh do tell Shinn, I wanna know too." Rayven said and smiled pleasantly at him. He stopped and looked up at her, horrified for a moment. He gulped down the rest of the food.

"I thought you weren't going to pay attention to our conversation." He said, "That's not what I said, I said 'Don't mind me'. I still wanna know." She said and smiled again. He scowled and didn't answer, eating more.

Athrun chuckled and Shinn shot him a glare. He rolled his eyes and grabbed the napkin. _Ok fine, don't tell me. So you're just nervous about being in a new relationship, right? _Athrun asked. _Yes, and you're not helping. _Shinn wrote back and didn't look at him.

_What am I doing wrong? I'm sorry if I kind of jumped ahead, I just thought you were more experienced. _Athrun wrote.

"What's _that _supposed to mean? Just because I've only had one girlfriend doesn't mean I'm not experienced!" Shinn said. "How can you have experience in a relationship when you've only had one girlfriend?" Athrun asked him.

Shinn hesitated before saying, "I thought you were talking about something else." quietly. "What did you think I was talking about?" Athrun asked questioningly. Shinn didn't answer him. "He hasn't told you, Athy-kun?" Rayven asked and glanced evilly at Shinn.

He looked at her in a terrified way and shook his head no. "Told me what?" Athrun asked and looked form his boyfriend to his cousin. "Ask Shinn, it's really not my place." She said and smirked at him who glared at her. "Then why'd you bring it up?" he asked her angrily. She shrugged and sipped some of her soda.

Athrun glanced form Shinn to Rayven again and asked, "Shinn, are you a virgin?" The boy choked on his drink. "Um, ahem, n-no." he said and got up to clean his plate after –coughing-. "You're not!? But, then what happened last night?" Athrun asked and Rayven choked on her drink.

"What _did _happen last night?" she asked suspiciously. Even though Rayven loved to tease her cousin, she was still protective of him, heck; he was all she had left!

"Nothing, Ray." Shinn said dismissively and went to sit on the couch. "Wait! Shinn, what's going on, last night you acted like you were still a virgin, that's why I didn't try anything, but why didn't you tell me?" Athrun asked as he followed him.

Shinn sighed, "Well, I just thought it was a little early in our relationship for that, besides, I don't really want to talk about it." He said. Athrun was about to question him further but decided to hold his tongue. He sat on the couch next to his boyfriend and put his arm around him.

Shinn glanced at him and snuggled closer. They started watching TV in silence. Rayven washed the dishes and soon joined them. After a painfully quiet ten minutes with nothing interesting on to watch she sighed and said, "Ok, what do you guys want to do? There's plenty going on, I'm sure you don't want to be cooped up inside all day after being on a battleship."

"What did you have in mind?" Athrun asked her. "I dunno, we can go swimming at the beach, or go to the mall, or to the fair." She suggested. "What do you wanna do, Shinn?" Athrun asked him. Shinn shrugged.

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"Kira, are you ok?" Cagalli asked him. He looked up at her and flashed a smile, although it didn't seem as sincere as he wanted it to be. "I'm fine." He told her. She sighed. "I miss him too, Kira." She said and sat next to him on the bed he was laying on.

He looked surprised, but then gave up and sighed. He returned to staring up at the ceiling. "Have you talked to him lately?" she asked. "The last time we talked he said that Zaft was letting them have a vacation. He said he'd call me when he got to PLANT." Kira replied, almost sadly.

"When was that?" she asked. "About three days ago. I hope nothing happened, EA launched an attack, but I heard they retreated." Kira told her. "Yeah, I'm sure he's fine, Kira, maybe you should call him." Cagalli suggested.

"Yeah, I'll call him." He replied and got up. He went over to his desk and reached for his cell phone. When he flipped it open he saw a picture of him and Athrun, smiling and holding each other. It was the last picture taken of them before Athrun had to return to Zaft.

He sighed and then pressed the speed dial button and waited impatiently for his best friend, and lover's, voice.

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_Ring! _Athrun's cell phone started ringing. It was also on vibrate, so Shinn yelped and jumped up, because he was sitting on Athrun's lap and his phone was in his pocket. Athrun laughed at him and Shinn glared as he answered.

"Hello?" he asked while still chuckling. "Hey, it's me, Kira." He heard and instantly stopped.

He glanced guiltily at Shinn, as if he could hear his voice. "Um, I'll be right back, ok?" he said and rushed out of the room and into the guest room. Shinn narrowed his eyes and was about to go after him but Rayven pulled him back. "Don't, it's rude to eavesdrop." She said and he sat down.

"Why did you call? I told you I would call when I got to PLANT!" Athrun whispered fiercely. Kira was slightly taken aback. "I was just worried, I'm sorry, is this a bad time?" Kira asked.

Athrun sighed, "No, I'm sorry, it's just, um, I'm…" Athrun began but couldn't find the words to tell Kira that he was with Shinn. "If you're busy you can call me back." Kira told him. "No, no, I'm fine." Athrun said quickly. "So how are you?" he added.

"I'm fine." Kira said brightly. "Yeah, I meant to call you yesterday; that's when I got to PLANT, but I was, er, busy." Athrun told him. "Oh, that's ok, I'm just glad you're not in battle," Kira said and then added sheepishly. "I know you're a great pilot, it's just that I worry about you, we've both had some close calls."

"I know, I worry about you too." Athrun replied. "So, um, do you think we could meet up someplace? Lacus, Cagalli and I are here in PLANT because of the whole Meer thing." Kira said. "I don't know, I'm kinda with a…friend." Athrun said.

Kira was silent. He knew that sound in Athrun's voice. Athrun was hiding something, or someone.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Kira asked. "What do you mean?" Athrun asked –innocently-. "You sound guilty, Athrun, like you're hiding something." Kira told him. "Oh, sorry." Athrun replied, trying to buy some time.

"Athrun…" Kira said expectantly. "What?" Athrun asked, trying to play dumb. "Don't play dumb!" Kira said and then gasped. "Are you with Meer!?" he blurted. "What!? No! I don't even know where she is!" Athrun replied and stifled the urge to laugh.

"Then, who is it?" Kira asked in a confused tone. "You don't really know him; he's one of my comrades." Athrun told him. "What does he pilot?" Kira asked –innocently-. "Uhhh….Impulse…" Athrun squeaked and flinched at Kira's outburst.

"IMPULSE! BUT HE'S TRIED TO KILL ME!" Kira shouted. "Well yeah but you kinda killed his parents, or at least he says you did." Athrun told him. There was a pause. "I did?" Kira asked in a surprised and confused voice.

"Yeah, and plus he doesn't really know you, I'm sure if he did he'd like you." Athrun said. There was another pause in which Athrun became antsy; he knew exactly what Kira was thinking.

"You're cheating on me with him, aren't you Athrun?" Kira asked in a stern and hurt voice. "What!? No! Of course not…ok yeah I am. Sorry!" Athrun said and Kira sighed. "You just couldn't control yourself, could you?" he asked.

"No, I'm sorry Kira." Athrun replied sheepishly. Kira sighed again. "First it was Yzak, and now Impulse pilot. I don't know what's going on with you, but you seem to like the guys who are determined to hate you _and _me. Is angry sex really that good?" Kira asked.

Athrun blushed. "Uhhh, we haven't had sex yet." He said almost triumphantly. "Really?" Kira asked with eagerness. "Nope! Aren't you proud!?" Athrun asked. "Yes, very proud. So what's he like?" Kira asked curiously.

"Well, a lot like Yzak and you combined, really." Athrun began and Kira snorted. Athrun ignored it and went on. "He's hot-tempered and stubborn, but also has a really pretty smile, like yours. He deals with his grieving in another way, however, instead of trying to protect everyone he wants to kill everyone. He also likes to disobey authority and yet has a soft and gentle side that is rarely shown."

"Hmm, he sounds too high-maintenance to me. Are you sure you can handle him?" Kira asked. "I'm getting there; he can be a wildfire though, almost like you when I get you drunk…" Athrun said and grinned to himself. "Athrun..." Kira growled.

Athrun chuckled and said, "But of course he can't compare, and like I said, we haven't had sex yet." He said. "Good, but I'm serious, Athrun, when can we meet? You might as well bring him along." Kira said.

"Ummm, well, Rayven, his cousin, has suggested a few places where we can hang out." Athrun said. "I've been wanting to go to the beach for ages, Athrun, I feel white…I need a tan, plus it's _sooo_ hot outside I'd _love_ to go swimming." Kira hinted with a sly grin.

"Ok, ok, I'll suggest going to the beach! I feel white too." Athrun said and looked at his arm that was unusually pale. "Great! I'll meet you there in half an hour! And bring your little boyfriend and his cousin! I want to meet them, oh, what's his name anyway?" Kira said quickly.

"Ok, I'll meet you there in half an hour, I'll bring them along, and his name is Shinn Asuka." Athrun replied. "Ok bye…I love you." Kira said. Athrun smiled. "I love you too." He said and they hung up.

He heard someone clear their throat behind him. He froze and slowly turned to see Shinn leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded. He didn't look too happy.

"Uhhh, it's rude to eavesdrop." Athrun said. Shinn glared at him. "What? That was…my dad!" Athrun said quickly with a grin. "Your dad is dead." Shinn replied with an even deeper glare. "Right, my dad's brother; my uncle! Uh, he's going to bring my cousin to the beach, I really want you to meet him!" Athrun said.

Shinn raised an eyebrow. "Last I heard your father was an only child." He said. "Uhhh, he was adopted?" Athrun asked more than stated. Shinn sighed and rolled his eyes. "Whatever Athrun, if you want to go you can just say so." He said and looked hurt and resentful.

"No! I want you and Rayven to come with me! Look, he's just a good friend; we kid around a lot, ok?" Athrun pleaded with the younger boy. Shinn looked forlorn and shrugged, turning to leave.

Athrun narrowed his eyes in determination and whirled him around. Shinn looked surprised and ready to retaliate when Athrun kissed him passionately. Shinn gasped but then relaxed and entwined his fingers in Athrun's hair, kissing him back.

When they parted they remained close and Shinn blushed before letting go and giving a sheepish grin. Athrun smiled at him and took him by the hand, leading him slyly out of the room and back into the living room.

"Hey Ray, wanna go to the beach?" Athrun asked. She jumped up from her chair. "I'd love to! I need a tan really bad and I couldn't wait to show off my new bathing suit!" she chatted away and ran to her room.

The boys looked at each other with raised eyebrows and then started chuckling. "Wait, I don't have a bathing suit, do you?" Shinn asked Athrun. "Yeah, I have an extra you can borrow." Athrun said and ruffled his hair. "Hey!" Shinn said and mock-glared. Athrun chuckled and went to the guest bedroom to get his bathing suits.

"Hey, how come you have two bathing suits when we're always at war on a pool-less ship?" Shinn asked as he followed him. "Just in case. I picked them up because the last time I was on Earth me and a friend went swimming and I didn't have a bathing suit…and neither did he." Athrun said and looked away.

Shinn raised an eyebrow. "Here, take mine, I've only worn it once." Athrun told him and handed Shinn some blue trunks with orange and yellow flames on them. "Cool, you have nice taste, although I prefer red." Shinn said and winked slyly.

Athrun smiled and said, "Thanks." before taking out some green trunks with orange and yellow flames. They were Kira's when they went swimming together the last time they saw each other. The picture on Kira's cell phone was them in their trunks.

Shinn came out momentarily and modeled the trunks. "I like them, do they fit?" Shinn asked and turned to show Athrun. "Yeah, they look great on you." He replied with a sly smile. Shinn blushed and folded his arms over his bare chest as he saw Athrun checking him out.

Athrun chuckled quietly to himself and went into the bathroom to change. It was funny to see Shinn, proud, arrogant, impulsive Shinn, look so uncomfortable in his own skin. He still couldn't believe this was his second relationship. _'Maybe if he opened up a little more and wasn't so angst-ridden he'd be in more relationships.' _Athrun thought and then came out and modeled the bathing suit for Shinn.

Athrun thanked God that they all were around the same size, although Shinn should've worn Kira's bathing suit, since they were closer in size than Athrun and Shinn.

They went out into the living room to see Rayven in a black bikini with red Independent crosses on the top and a sash with the word "Independent" on the bottom. Shinn's jaw dropped and Athrun's eyes flew open. They stood there for a second, blinking at her.

"Well? What do you think?" she asked and giggled at their expressions. "Uhhh, are you sure you should wear that? You might get harassed by some old dudes who live with their moms." Shinn said and went toward her, eyeing the suit suspiciously. "I'm sure I'll be fine. I know karate you know. Besides, I'll have two strong Zaft boys to protect me." She said and winked at him.

"That's right! No one will mess with you if I'm around!" Shinn said and flexed his muscles. "Me too." Athrun said and flexed his muscles also, which were bigger than Shinn's. "See why'd you have to ruin my moment?" Shinn asked and rolled his eyes sarcastically. Athrun stuck his tongue out and Shinn shook his head.

"Ok, come on. Time's a wastin'!" Rayven said and skipped to the door. She grabbed a bag out of the closet that had some towels and sunscreen and they followed her out of the door. They got in her Mustang and she made the back go down.

"I love this car!" she said as she revved it up, making the sound of the engine and making Shinn laugh. She sped off toward the beach, which was fairly close. Athrun took the time to take in her and Shinn's resemblance, and to also figure out what to say to Kira-san.

Shinn had a special light in his eyes, like he'd never been happier. Athrun liked that small sparkle; it gave him hope that Shinn could finally overcome his grief like his cousin seemed to have.

Rayven seemed happy too; maybe it was because they were together after being separated for so long. All he knew was that he liked seeing Shinn happy, liked hearing Shinn laugh instead of yell or sneer, liked his beautiful smile that reminded him of Kira when they were younger.

Shinn seemed like a totally different person, instead of being overconfident and cocky, he was modest and shy. Instead of being hot-headed and spiteful, he was self-conscious and giddy.

"What?" Shinn asked when he caught Athrun staring at him. "Just admiring the view." Athrun said and Shinn blushed and turned around. "Awww, Athrun you are really a charming young man, like they say." Rayven told him. "Thanks, I get that a lot." He said and flashed her a smile.

Shinn was staring out at the ocean they were going across, and for a tiny second Athrun thought he was looking at Kira. _'They do look alike, if Shinn had brown hair and purple eyes they'd be twins!' _he thought.

"Ok, we're here! Everyone out! Athrun did you say you were meeting a friend here?" Rayven was saying as she parked the car and started getting out. She reached for the bag and slung it over her shoulder. "Yeah, he should be down here somewhere." Athrun said and motioned farther down the beach where they always met.

"Ok, let's go find a spot." Rayven said and they followed Athrun along the beach. Shinn walked with his head down, like he always did. He was wondering who exactly Athrun's little "friend" was, and why he had acted so strange that morning. _'Oh well, I guess I'll find out soon.' _He thought and kept walking.

Rayven was getting a few looks her way, and she looked like she enjoyed it. _'They may look alike, but their personalities are really different.' _Athrun commented.

And then he saw him. Kira Yamato in some green and blue trunks, a yellow stripe going down the sides. Athrun beamed despite himself. "Hey Kira!" he said excitedly.

Shinn heard Athrun greet someone, and he looked up to see the most beautiful amethyst purple eyes he'd ever seen.

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**-Author's note: So what'd ya think? Is it good? Are you glad I finally updated? I warned you that updates will be slow due to too many stories! Well, please review, I know that boys have been a little OOC, but everything will be explained in later chapters, I promise! I'm just going with the flow here, so bare with me! Again please review! Peace-**


	4. Chapter 4: Shinn, Meet Kira

**Chapter 4: Shinn, Meet Kira**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own the boys or Gundam Seed/Destiny. I only own Rayven and the other OCs for small parts of the plot I also own. If that makes sense. I have a headache. Ow.**

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Shinn's crimson eyes flew wide and he could only stare at the handsome young man before him. Now, Shinn Asuka wasn't an outright homosexual who went crazy over every guy he saw, it was quite the opposite. Athrun was a rightful exception, although Shinn was beginning to piece a few pieces of the puzzle together, because not only did he think that this man might be Athrun's lover, but he had to admit, he _was _sexy.

Kira was a little taller than Shinn, and he was smiling at them all pleasantly. He had a beautiful smile which accentuated his soft pink lips. His chocolate locks waved around his curved face in the breeze and his amethyst eyes sparkled with the sun, seeming to reflect the ocean to the side of them.

"Shinn, this is Kira; Kira, this is Shinn." Athrun introduced them and Shinn yet again had to snap out of a trance. Man, he's become real spacey since he started going out with Athrun.

"Nice to meet you." They said at the same time and shook each other's hands. Rayven seemed to also take an interest to Kira since she grinned and shook his hand as well. "I'm Rayven, Shinn's cousin." She said warmly. He smiled at her as well and nodded.

"Well, who wants to go swimming?" Athrun asked, unable to hide his excitement. Cagalli and Lacus weren't there because they knew Shinn would figure out Kira was actually his enemy and things would get pretty ugly.

"Ooo, I do!" Rayven replied and they chuckled and set their stuff down. "Come on, Shinn." Athrun said and smiled at him while pulling him to the ocean. Kira followed and flashed them a slightly jealous look, but it quickly disappeared.

Athrun dragged Shinn into the water and they ended up in a splash fight. Rayven joined in, splashing Shinn, while Kira resigned himself to watching. That is, until Athrun dragged him into it-literally.

They were all laughing and splashing each other, and then Athrun pulled Kira aside while Shinn and Rayven were splashing each other.

"So what do you think?" Athrun asked with a hopeful look. Kira took a moment to look Shinn over. "Well, he's cute. His smile is cute, and his laugh is cute. But I haven't seen this so-called 'fire' in him that you claim to." Kira finally said slyly.

"Oh you are _naughty_." Athrun replied with a grin and Kira blushed and grinned sheepishly. Athrun would have made out with him then and there but remembered Shinn was right there, especially when he splashed him in the face.

Athrun gasped and mock-glared and swam after him. Shinn squeaked cutely and swam away form him, being oddly playful.

"Gotcha!" Athrun said as he caught Shinn by the arm and pulled him close. The boy blushed at the closeness but didn't try to get away. He was actually smiling, enjoying the time away from the war. Athrun smiled as well and leaned in closer to him.

Shinn didn't resist, but the smile faltered slightly as he tensed. _'It's like he's not used to affection, hasn't his mom or dad ever hugged or kissed him? It's like he thinks I'm going to hurt him! I guess after they were killed he just didn't want to trust anyone.' _Athrun thought and kissed Shinn slowly, casting a glance Kira's way.

When they parted Shinn smiled at him but didn't say anything. "Ooooo, hey now! Look at little Shinn getting his smooch on!" Rayven teased and Shinn turned red. He growled and chased after her while Athrun laughed.

Kira watched in what looked almost like horror as Shinn tried to drown Rayven and they got into a major water fight.

"See, a wildfire." Athrun whispered in Kira's ear. Kira jumped and Athrun chuckled. "Is he always like that when he gets angry? She was only teasing." Kira said and looked worriedly at them splashing each other.

Athrun smirked slightly. "Yeah, pretty much, I can't wait to see how he is in bed. You know what they say about rough sex." He purred into his ear again. "Athrun!" Kira whirled around, shocked, mortified, and…jealous?

Athrun was laughing so hard he didn't feel Shinn come up behind him and pull him under. He thrashed about in terror, thinking someone was trying to drown him, or some_thing_.

He gasped for air when he finally came back up, looking around for the attacker. It was when he saw Rayven and Kira laughing at him that he heard Shinn laughing too, his eyes closed and holding his stomach.

Athrun turned slowly around to glare at him until he stopped. "W-what? You've been doing it to me all day, about time I got you back." Shinn said. He squeaked when Athrun tackled him "playfully".

After some more splashing Shinn opened his eyes to be in Athrun's arms, unable to move or push himself away. His body instinctively went tense as he struggled to get out of the older boy's hold, but Athrun wouldn't let go, he only chuckled.

"A-Athrun, let go." Shinn stammered uneasily. He didn't like being cornered, he didn't like being restrained, he felt vulnerable, and he swore long ago that he'd never feel that way or be put in that situation ever again.

"Why?" the blue haired coordinator asked seductively with a wicked grin. "I-I, um," Shinn struggled some more against him, and Athrun began to look confused. "What's wrong?" he finally asked.

Shinn opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. _'No, not again, never again.' _He thought and shook his head. "U-um, I'm hungry, let's go get some lunch." He suggested, his eyes pleading Athrun to let him go.

Athrun narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He's never seen Shinn like that, in fact, Shinn actually looked…_scared_. It seems that away from the war Shinn wasn't as tough as Athrun thought.

"Okay, fine." He finally replied and let the boy go. Shinn sighed in relief and swam faster than Athrun would've wanted back to shore.

"Hey, Shinn wants to go get lunch, let's go." Athrun told Rayven and Kira who were talking while Rayven was getting a little too friendly. Kira quickly swam away and Rayven followed.

Shinn was waiting for them impatiently, and seemed to avoid Athrun. They walked down the boardwalk, Kira was walking next to Athrun, Rayven was next to Kira, and Shinn was next to her, far away from Athrun.

'_I'm definitely going to have a talk with him tonight.' _He thought and frowned. Kira nudged him and smiled. Athrun half-smiled and continued frowning, looking at nothing in particular as he thought about what to say.

Kira actually frowned and nudged him harder, making Athrun snap out of his daydreaming to glare at his best friend and secret lover.

"What are you thinking?" Kira whispered, his gaze boring into Athrun. "Shinn's been acting strange lately and I wanna know why." Athrun confessed, staring at said boy who was laughing uneasily at something Rayven said.

"Oh, like how?" Kira asked quietly. "Well, I don't know how to explain it, one minute he's all on me, the next he's trying to get as far away form me as possible, he told me he's only been in one other relationship, and he's just real edgy around me sometimes. He totally changed the minute we stepped foot off the ship." Athrun told him.

"Oh, well, maybe something happened to him besides...um…" Kira said and looked away guiltily. "Hey, it was an accident, I'm sure he'd understand." Athrun said softly with a small smile. "For some reason, I don't think he will." Kira said distantly, glancing at Shinn cautiously.

Athrun's eyes softened. "Maybe something _did_ happen to him, but whatever it is, I'm going to find out tonight." He said determinedly, green eyes suddenly turning fierce. "Just be careful, don't be too forceful, knowing you that's probably why he's like this, especially if something happened." Kira told him.

Athrun looked mock-hurt. "I'm not forceful!" he said. Kira gave him a look and before anyone could say something they entered a small café. Shinn and Rayven ordered some cheeseburgers, fries, and drinks; Athrun ordered a club sandwich and a soda, and Kira ordered a fruit smoothie with a side of fries.

Athrun took one glance at Kira's order and sighed. "What?" Kira asked. They were sitting in a booth, and Athrun managed to sit next to Shinn _and _Kira. Lucky him.

"No wonder you're so skinny, is that all you're going to eat?" Athrun asked. "Yeah, why?" Kira asked and chewed on a French fry. "Dang boy, at least I _try_ to eat! Here, have some of my burger." Rayven told him and tore a meaty piece off.

"Uh, no thanks." Kira said as politely as he could while looking disgusted. Athrun smiled and tried not to chuckle at Rayven's confused expression.

"It's not going to bite, its really good, just try it. You're not a vegetarian are you?" she asked suspiciously. Athrun burst out laughing and Shinn looked from Athrun, to Kira, to his cousin.

Kira blanched and got paler, if possible. "Well, no, I just had a big breakfast and-," he began but was cut off by Athrun. "He doesn't like to eat meat because he thinks it's cruel to the cows."

Kira scowled at him while he chuckled some more and Shinn started laughing. Rayven shrugged and ate the piece she was holding out for him, moaning overdramatically.

Kira crossed his arms and glared at Athrun until he stopped and even after. "What? Eat your French fries and drink your fruit smoothie." Athrun commanded and Kira eventually did as he was told.

They talked and laughed a bit while they ate, and Athrun kept nudging Shinn with his leg, making the boy blush and glance at him. Kira was getting pretty jealous and Athrun was loving it.

"Okay boys, we should start heading back home, I have work tomorrow and it's about to rain." Rayven said after an hour. Shinn pouted and they walked back to their spot on the beach and packed their stuff up.

Before they left, Kira and Athrun both had the strange need to go to the restroom, so Rayven and Shinn waited until they returned.

* * *

**With Kira and Athrun**

"I had a really good time; hopefully we'll be able to see each other before we have to go back to the Minerva." Athrun told Kira as he held him close. "Yeah, we've all missed you, Athrun, why don't you come back with us?" Kira asked, his amethyst eyes pleading.

"I can't, Kira, you know that." Athrun told him. They had this conversation almost every time they talked. "But I miss you!" Kira whined. "Cagalli misses you, Lacus misses you; we all miss you!" he added.

Athrun sighed and brushed Kira's cheek. "I'll see you all soon, okay? One more kiss before I go." He said. Kira pouted and pulled Athrun forward, kissing him passionately and wrapping his leg around him tightly. Then suddenly he pushed him away and smirked seductively before walking away, swaying his hips because he knew Athrun was watching.

Athrun shook his head. _'He never ceases to amaze me, now to deal with Shinn.' _He thought and composed himself before sauntering back to his current love interest and his cousin.

They drove home in silence, but Athrun took the time to think about how he should approach Shinn.

When they reached the apartment Rayven had a quick dinner and went to bed after taking a shower. That left Shinn and Athrun alone. Perfect.

"Hey Shinn, can I ask you something?" Athrun asked calmly after Rayven disappeared in her bedroom. Shinn was flipping through channels and replied, "What?" absently.

"I was just wondering, I know you said this was only your second relationship and all, but I can't help but thinking there's something more than that." Athrun said bluntly. He figured that there was no point in beating around the bush. Straight and to the point was how he liked it anyway.

Shinn didn't respond for so long that Athrun thought he didn't hear him, but then Shinn replied in a soft voice Athrun could barely hear him, "Why?"

"What do you mean, 'why'? Shinn you've totally changed. From being hot-head and arrogant you're edgy and shy, that's not like you. I'm just concerned." Athrun said worriedly, scooting closer to Shinn.

Shinn stopped flipping channels and looked straight at him. "Would you rather me go back to being cocky and resentful? You know, I was trying to be nice and calm, but no, I guess that's not good enough for you." He spat viciously.

Athrun looked shocked. For a moment he didn't know what to say as Shinn went back to flipping through channels.

"Shinn, that's not what I meant and you know it! I'm just confused as to why you're so edgy around me; I'm just trying to figure you out!" Athrun burst angrily. "Well maybe I don't wanna be figured out Athrun, have you ever thought of that!? Maybe I don't want to remember anything that happened in my past because it hurts too much, have you ever thought of that!?" Shinn yelled, standing up, on the verge of tears.

Unfortunately, Athrun wasn't feeling sympathetic at the moment, quite the opposite really. He stood too and shouted, "Oh really? Have you ever thought that maybe there's hundreds of other people that feel the same way, that maybe _I _feel that way!? Here's a heads up, Shinn, you're not the only one with problems!"

Shinn growled and threw the remote across the room. "Screw you Zala!" he yelled. Athrun went to the dark side after that. (A/N: Sounds kinda funny eh? Maybe? Not really? I'll shut up now.)

He pinned Shinn against the wall, slamming his arms above his head and spreading his legs with his own and holding them there. Shinn gasped at Athrun's reaction, and his eyes widened at his words.

"Maybe you will." Athrun said darkly and kissed him roughly. He felt Shinn freeze. His muscle's tensed and he didn't resist Athrun's tongue from sliding inside his mouth. He could feel Shinn's heart beat out of control and heard his breathing grow sharper and heavier.

And he liked it.

He experimentally slid one hand down Shinn's arm and onto his chest, Shinn's own hand didn't move. Athrun deepened the kiss and Shinn gasped as his hands roamed and prodded him.

Athrun grinned as he slid his hand underneath Shinn's shirt and heard the boy whimper and shudder at his touch. He enjoyed taking advantage of him, but some part of him knew it was wrong.

He slid his tongue out of Shinn's mouth and stared into his eyes. The eyes that were supposed to be intimidating were frightened; frozen in terror. Athrun brushed his lips against Shinn's cheek and down his neck, nibbling.

Shinn closed his eyes and whimpered some more. Athrun's hands were reaching for his belt, and Shinn couldn't move, literally.

'_Why is he doing this? I thought I could trust him.' _He thought. A tear rolled down his face, unbidden.

Athrun snapped out of it then and stepped back. A second passed before Shinn crumpled to the floor. Athrun gasped and kneeled down next to him. "Sh-Shinn, I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me. I'm so sorry, Shinn, are you okay?" he said.

"Clearly he's not." Rayven said rather coldly from behind him. Her arms were crossed and she was glaring at him with pure hatred.

Athrun opened his mouth but Rayven stopped him. "Don't, just go." She said and pointed to the guest room. He stood and glanced one last time at Shinn before trudging into the room and slumping onto the bed.

Rayven sighed and went to Shinn, who was still frozen in shock and fear. "Shinn sweety, you're okay now. Did he hurt you?" she asked and stroked his cheek. Shinn gulped and shook his head without blinking.

"Hey, it's okay now, relax." she whispered and rubbed his limp arms. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, and when he opened them he seemed normal.

"There's my Shinn." She said, but he shook her hand away and got up, looking at the door of the guest room Athrun was in. "Shinn, he doesn't know, and I'm sure he's sorry for what he did. As always, you seem to push people to the edge because of your stubbornness." She said surprisingly.

Normally Athrun would be kicked out immediately, but Rayven knew he was really a good guy and was just angry at Shinn. She wanted to give him a second chance, and give Shinn a second chance; a chance she probably wouldn't get in a while.

Shinn thought this and she seemed to read his mind. "I just want you to be happy Shinn, and I think if you just give him a chance he could make you happy. I know what he did was wrong, but I truly believe he had no intention of hurting you. Go sleep in my room, I'll talk to him, okay?" she told him.

He nodded and walked slowly to her room, he stopped at the doorframe and looked back at her sadly, and she nodded her head and tried to smile. He looked so sad it hurt, and he disappeared into her room.

She sighed again and marched into the other room. Athrun was sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. She leaned against the doorframe until he noticed she was there.

"Look, I'm really sorry, I don't know what happened." He said and stood up. "You're right, you don't." she said. His brows furrowed and he opened his mouth to ask what she meant when she said, "Sit down." and he did.

She went farther into the room and sat next to him. "When Shinn was younger there was a child molestor loose in the neighborhood. Aunt Clarice tried to keep him inside, but Shinn wanted to play outside with his friends." She began as she remembered the day like it was yesterday.

**-Flashback-**

"_I wanna play with my friends!" Shinn pouted. Clarice sighed, "Okay okay, just be careful, don't talk to strangers and be home by dinner." She said. He raced out the door right after she said "okay"._

_She watched him play soccer with a few of the boys, but then the buzzer went off in the kitchen and she bustled about getting ready for supper._

_After cleaning the house and preparing the chicken for the night, it was dark outside, and Shinn hadn't come home. Clarice was worried and went to the door. What she saw almost made her faint._

_Shinn was outside, but not alone, a man had him pinned to the ground, ravaging him for the whole world to see. _

**-End Flashback-**

"I can still hear his screams." Rayven said as tears flowed down her cheeks. "I raced to mom's room and got the baseball bat, and before she could stop me I ran out there and bashed the man's head in a few times until the cops finally came. We sent Shinn to therapy, but it wouldn't work. He wouldn't talk to anyone but us, and he barely talked to us.

"We sent him back to his house early, but soon after he got over it and returned to normal. I don't know what happened, but he never talked about it again, he acted as if nothing happened. In fact, when he got in high school he took it upon himself to find out how it really feels, you know, how it's _supposed_ to feel.

"He never had girlfriends, per say, he had one-night-stands." She told him and he cursed himself for even touching the boy.

"But as you figured, he tenses up when he's cornered or pinned, he doesn't like being held down or restrained, I guess it triggers the memory of that day and he totally freezes, just like he did when…" she trailed off and closed her eyes.

"I'm so sorry; I honestly don't know why I acted like that. I guess I was just so angry because I was concerned about him; I was confused as to why he was acting so edgy and stuff around me. With everything going on, I guess I just lost control." He said.

"Well, I know you're a good guy Athrun, I just hope Shinn knows that, we're all we have. I want him to be happy for once, truly happy, like he was when he was little, before any of this happened. I think you could be the one, and I don't say that lightly. Besides, I think the reason he didn't jump on you like he normally would if he liked someone is that he really likes you, and he doesn't want you to be just a fun night." She told him and managed to smile.

"Thanks." He replied. "Should I talk to him?" he asked. "If he wants to talk." She said. He frowned. "He probably doesn't, he probably hates me." He said sadly. "At least try to talk to him." She advised and smiled again before leaving.

A few minutes later Shinn himself appeared at the doorway, looking small and vulnerable.

Definitely how he shouldn't look, Athrun thought.

Athrun stood quickly and opened his mouth to say something, but Shinn took a step back just as quickly. The look he gave him almost brought Athrun to tears.

"Shinn, I'm really sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I guess I just got out of control." He said softly. Shinn hesitated and quickly glanced around, before fully coming into the room cautiously.

He looked so scared and fragile; surely this wasn't the same Shinn who'd always boast about how strong he was, the same Shinn who would defy orders and practically beg for the consequences, the same Shinn whose red eyes intimidated even the most hardened veterans.

"Shinn, can you forgive me? We can forget about this night, and start over, I know I did a lot of things wrong; but I want to make things right." Athrun said. Shinn only moved forward, cautiously but determinedly, and hugged Athrun.

Athrun was surprised at his actions, but hugged him back anyways, closing his eyes and kissing the top of Shinn's head. He felt something wet and realized Shinn was crying.

Now _that_ was just crazy. Shinn crying!? That was like Kira killing someone out of cold blood! But Athrun realized that with everything that's happened so far, Kira could in fact kill someone out of cold blood!

He gulped.

"Shhh, Shinn don't cry, I'm here, I'll protect you, I promise." Athrun whispered and rocked him back and forth. It felt so weird to say that to him, he remembered when Shinn was saying the same thing to Stellar when he snuck her onboard and took her to the infirmary.

Shinn must have thought it was weird too, because he looked up at him in surprise and actually cracked a smile.

"I never thought I'd say that to you, it's weird, huh?" Athrun said. "Yeah." Shinn chuckled and bit his lip. "I guess I overreacted, I'm sorry for making you feel so horrible." He added.

"What? I was the one who overreacted, and I'm sorry for making _you _feel so horrible." Athrun replied. Shinn smiled and nuzzled his neck. "No one's ever really cared about me like that except my family, it sounds nice to hear." He said almost bitterly with a pained smile.

Athrun stroked his cheek and smiled sadly at him. Shinn frowned, "What's the point of smiling if it's sad, smiles are meant to be happy." He said and Athrun chuckled. "You're right, will you smile for me?" he asked.

Shinn did, he blushed and smiled his beautiful smile and Athrun kissed him softly and held him the rest of the night.

* * *

**-Author's Note: Is it just me or does Shinn get raped in every story I write about him??? I'm sorry if you guys are getting tired of it, there must be something wrong with my brain….O.o…..well, please review and tell me what you think, any ideas are welcome and I might be able to squeeze a few characters in here.-**


	5. Chapter 5: Relax and Enjoy the Show!

**Chapter 5: Relax and Enjoy the Show!**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own the characters except for Rayven and Aunt Clarice and the other minor characters I use for my purposes.**

* * *

Athrun approached consciousness slowly; he became slightly aware of his surroundings, he felt Shinn in his arms and smiled before opening his eyes.

Shinn looked so innocent when he was sleeping; he looked almost like an angel. That made Athrun chuckle. Even with everything that happened the other night, Shinn couldn't possibly be compared to an angel except when he's sleeping.

Athrun smiled again as he stroked the boy's raven-black haired and cheek. He was glad that he knew a bit about his past, glad that he could start piecing the puzzle together, one small conversation at a time.

He always knew that Shinn was a troubled teen, but he always assumed that it was the aftereffects of losing one's family. He could still feel the numb coldness that overwhelmed him when he lost his own mother, and then when he lost his father.

Patrick Zala wasn't the best dad in the world, but he was the only family Athrun had after his mom died in the Bloody Valentine Tragedy. So he understood how Shinn felt and understood that people had different ways of dealing with things.

But knowing what had happened when Shinn was a mere child…that also cleared up a few things, and Athrun felt a strong surge of protectiveness overcome him as he looked down at the smaller male beneath him.

In a strange way, he was reminded of Kira yet again. Kira was really an orphan, like Cagalli, but he never really seemed troubled or hurt about it, not like Shinn. He guessed it was because he barely even knew his real parents and because he had Mrs. Yamato to be his mother.

But still, he wondered how Kira felt when he talked about his real parents, and he wondered if Kira knew his family if he'd be the same as Shinn.

Shinn stirred suddenly, and frowned slightly as his eyes opened. Athrun smiled down at him but noticed that the fierce fire was back in the other boy's red eyes. A half-smile that looked more like a sneer twisted upon Shinn's features before he sat up.

"Good morning." Athrun said, still smiling. "Hn." Shinn replied.

He was back to normal. Whether that's a good thing or bad thing to be determined.

"Did you sleep well?" Athrun asked as Shinn stretched.

"Humph, define sleep." The other mumbled groggily.

"If you're still tired you should go back to sleep, this is supposed to be a rest and relaxation time and we leave tomorrow." Athrun told him.

"Whatever Zala." The boy replied and trudged into the bathroom after grabbing some clothes.

Athrun sighed and slid out of bed, getting some clothes as well. He heard Shinn turn on the shower and waited before coming in.

"It's just me." Athrun said and Shinn grunted, letting the hundred degree water pour down upon him.

Athrun got dressed and got ready for the day. He heard Rayven humming and making pancakes in the kitchen and went out to join her.

"Good morning. How's Shinn?" Rayven said cheerfully, although still looking suspicious of him.

"Back to his normal, angst-ridden, rebellious self, unfortunately for me." Athrun replied. The girl giggled. "I used to be like that, in fact, I still kinda am, except for the angst-ridden part. I can help you." She told him.

"Really? Thanks." He said and smiled. He asked to help her with breakfast but she shoved him in a seat and told him to stay put.

"Thanks again for letting me stay here." he said after a while. "Oh it's okay. It's been a while since I had some company. Most of my friends are either in the war or moved somewhere else or something stupid like that. No offense or anything." She replied.

"None taken. That first night you said something about a boyfriend…?" Athrun asked, curious.

She sighed. "Yeah, he joined Zaft and died in a battle recently." She said quietly.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He murmured.

"Sorry for what?" Shinn asked as he strutted into the dining room and sat down, eyeing the pancakes.

"My boyfriend dying in a recent battle." Ray told him, not even looking at him.

"Oh. That sucks." Shinn replied and tried to see her face. "I'm still amazed at how optimistic you are. You must not have a very good conscience or something. You certainly have no remorse." He added.

"Shinn!" Athrun reprimanded him.

"Oh ha, ha, very funny Mr. I-Have-No-Heart. You're worse than me; you don't even have a conscience!" Ray said angrily.

"And I'm okay with that." Shinn replied and shrugged. Athrun sighed. "You never cease to amaze me Shinn. What are you bipolar?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes." both youths answered. Athrun looked at him strangely.

"They diagnosed him with bipolar disease when he was around ten." Ray told him, giving him a knowing look. "Oh, well that explains a lot more about you Shinn. I never knew you were so mysterious." Athrun said with a sly grin.

Shinn didn't respond, instead he leaned back in his chair and acted as if Athrun hadn't said anything.

"You're gonna kill yourself if you keep doing that, Shinn." Ray commented as his chair creaked dangerously from being tipped at the angle he was tipping it.

"Your point?" he asked, staring at the ceiling.

"Will you stop pretending to be suicidal? It's not funny." Rayven told him sternly.

"I know, I'm not pretending. Besides, you sound like mom." Shinn said.

Rayven put the pancakes on a plate and set them on the table before shoving Shinn's chair upwards.

"Oof! Hey!" he said and scowled at her. Athrun shook his head and forked some delicious goodness onto his plate.

They prayed and then dug in; the apartment was silent except for the sound of three people eating vigorously.

"You know, you're starting to remind me of Yzak, except you don't cuss as much and are more depressed." Athrun commented when they were done. Shinn scowled at him.

Rayven giggled. "I've heard of Yzak Joule from David, he was on his team. He also told me Dearka Elsman. You guys were all on the Creuset team in the first war, weren't you? With Nicol Amarfi, Rusty, Miguel, those guys?" she said.

"Yeah, we're the only ones that survived." Athrun said solemnly.

"That's too bad. I heard that Nicol was a sweet boy." She said. Shinn stared at her in confusion.

"Yeah, he loved to play the piano, didn't really want to fight." Athrun replied and looked down sadly, missing his friends yet again.

Rayven gave Shinn a knowing look and he sighed. "I'm really sorry your friends died, Athrun, I guess you've lost more than me." He said.

"Hm? Maybe. A family is as important as friends, actually even more. I think we're even." Athrun told him. Shinn nodded.

* * *

"So how was your date with Athrun?" Cagalli asked Kira. "It wasn't a 'date'. His real boyfriend and his cousin were there. But it was pretty fun." Kira told her.

"I thought _you _were his real boyfriend." Cagalli said with a puzzled look.

"Well, we're more like friends with benefits, really. Although I think he wants to have a threesome." Kira said.

Her eyes flew wide and her mouth formed an O. "Uh, wow, um, really? That's…to be frank that's just weird and totally unlike Athrun, yet in a way totally like him. Does that make sense?" she said.

He chuckled. "Perfect sense, sis. I dunno, Shinn _is _cute, besides the fact that he hates my guts. Athrun said I killed his family, but I had no idea!" Kira said and Cagalli's jaw dropped to the floor.

"Shinn!? As in Shinn Asuka!? That's who he's cheating on you with!?" she shrieked, still looking bewildered.

Kira flinched. "Uh, yeah. But he's not as evil as I thought he'd be, although Athrun said he was acting strange. I should call him and see how his chat went." Kira said, oblivious to the faces Cagalli was making.

"Ugh! I give up! You boys are driving me crazy!" she said and marched out of the office.

"Uh huh, yeah." Kira said absently, not noticing that his sister just walked away from him.

* * *

"Are you enjoying your vacation, Talia-san?" Gilbert Durandal asked as he sat next to her. They were at the beach, and he had invited her to join him.

"Yes, thank you Chairman. It's good to get some rest and relaxation for once. This war is crazy, those poor kids are running themselves ragged." She replied, taking a martini he was giving her.

He chuckled. "Yes, but it's helping them, you know. And please, call me Gilbert." He said and they laughed.

"Okay _Gilbert_. Seriously, do you think we have a chance at winning?" she asked looking concerned.

He turned sober and contemplated this for a while, watching the fellow beach-goers play football, volleyball, or just splash around in the ocean.

"I think so, we have some good soldiers, and even though ORB is with the Earth Alliance, Cagalli Ula Attha really just wants peace. I think with some coaxing her and the Archangel would be able to help us." He answered.

She nodded and stared out into the sea, reveling in the warmth of the sun and the chance to relax after running a hectic ship.

* * *

**With Shinn, Athrun, and Rayven**

The rest of the day was spent driving around the city, going to the mall, arcade, fair, basically having fun.

Shinn wasn't so grouchy by the afternoon, but was still rebellious as usual. He and Athrun got into some interesting situations while Rayven met up with some friends and teased Shinn like a big sister.

Shinn fell asleep in Athrun's arms again that night, and then the next morning they had to say their goodbyes and go back to the Minerva.

"I'm glad I got to spend time with you, Shinn. Promise me you'll be careful and that you'll come back to me, okay?" Rayven told him.

He smirked, "I will. It'll take a lot to bring me down. Don't worry." He told her and they hugged once more.

"And good luck to you, Athrun Zala, I believe you're a good person and will make it through this. You have the power to make a difference, and I'll be rootin' for the both of ya!" she said and kissed him on the cheek after hugging him.

"Bye guys! Love yas Shinni!" she called and waved to them as they boarded the shuttle. She hoped it wouldn't be the last time she saw them…

* * *

**-Author's Note: Okay so not much is going on, but don't worry, once the boys are back in battle things will pick up speed. Please review and tell me what you think! Peace out!-**


	6. Chapter 6: Jealous

**Chapter 6: Jealous**

**Disclaimer:**** Me no ownage.**

* * *

Shinn sat quietly in the passenger seat while Athrun drove them to the airport (or whatever it's called on the show). Athrun glanced to him from time to time, but was otherwise consumed in other thoughts…

'_I wonder if he and Kira would be good together. Although we won't be able to tell him who Kira really is, but still…' _he thought naughtily.

He glanced at Shinn again and caught him staring at him. "What?" he asked him.

"You keep glancing at me." The red-eyed boy responded and continued staring at him expectantly.

Athrun smirked. "Oh so now I can't simply admire my young boyfriend's sexy face?" he asked.

Shinn looked away, out of the window, and didn't respond.

"Shinn-," Athrun began but Shinn cut him off, "I'm okay Athrun."

"Alright, alright. I won't ask then." The bluenette replied.

He saw in the reflection of the window that Shinn closed his eyes while resting his head against the door.

Athrun sighed and continued driving, wondering what new was wrong with his ever-surprising boytoy-I mean-boyfriend.

* * *

When they got to the –airport- Shinn finally spoke up.

"Hey Athrun?"

"Yes Shinn?"

"I had a lot of fun with you this weekend. I'm sorry about…how I acted. I don't really know why I'm so edgy around you." Shinn confessed and kept his eyes on the ground.

Athrun smiled and tipped Shinn's head up, the boy looking surprised although Athrun could tell he was trying to hide it.

"It's okay Shinn. I understand and I won't push you. I…I love you." Athrun said, surprising even himself. It wasn't like him to fall in love so quickly, but something about Shinn just begged to be loved.

He saw the boy blush and smile before he was engulfed in a hug. He chuckled and hugged him back.

"Thank you Athrun. I love you too." He replied warmly. They smiled at each other for a while, staring into each other's eyes as well, before they remembered that they were about to be late for their shuttle.

They were laughing as they ran through the port, rushing past people and saying 'sorry' a thousand times while watching each other from the other side. One wouldn't know that they were racing to get on a shuttle to take them back to war…

They were breathing heavily but still laughing when they finally made it onto the shuttle and sat side-by-side.

"Whew! I'm glad we made it." Shinn breathed. "Yeah, I thought we were going to miss it! Good thing we're fast." Athrun replied. "Yeah!" Shinn agreed.

When the shuttle took off Shinn laid his head on Athrun's shoulder and Athrun wrapped his arm around him, a few people gave them odd or scandalous looks, but since this is the future not many of them were bothered by the homosexual affection. GO GAYS!

However, not far behind them was another young boy going back to war; a boy with long blonde hair and expressionless eyes that were staring at the couple with jealousy…

* * *

When they finally boarded the Minerva it was late so Captain Gladys had the youths go to their rooms after welcoming them back and explaining a few things briefly to them.

Athrun and Shinn said their good-nights before Shinn went into the room he shared with Rey.

"Shinn." He heard a familiar voice say.

"Hey Rey. Did you enjoy your vacation?" Shinn asked him and started to undress.

Rey didn't respond but instead stood up and took a step towards Shinn, whose back was facing him.

"Did you hear me?" Shinn asked, taking off his shirt to reveal a tanned and muscular chest and mid-section (ooo sezzy!!!).

"I heard you, Shinn." Rey replied in the raven-haired boy's ear. Shinn stopped what he was doing and felt Rey's hands slide up his waist. He allowed himself to be turned around and kissed by his friend.

Now some of you might be thinking, what the heck is going on!? Well, before Shinn and Athrun started dating, Shinn and Rey acted much like Athrun and Kira- friends with benefits. It was strictly sex only when they absolutely needed it (or when they just felt like it) and so Shinn was used to Rey doing this and trusted him.

However, since he hadn't told him about his and Athrun's relationship, he knew that this time would be difficult.

When they broke apart Rey held Shinn close to him and smirked, knowing what Shinn would be feeling.

Shinn, in turn, sighed and closed his eyes, bringing his hands up to his face. He knew this day would come, he just hoped it wouldn't be this soon.

Rey continued smirking as he pulled Shinn towards his bed, but Shinn stopped him. "Rey, no." he said softly.

"You're dating Athrun aren't you?" Rey replied as Shinn knew he would. He sighed exasperatingly and said, "Please don't tell anyone else."

"Maybe." Rey replied. Shinn jerked up, his eyes narrowing and his hands wrapping around Rey's wrists.

Rey's triumphant expression faltered into a sad one. "It's not what you think, Shinn. You know I'm not like that." He said.

Shinn's expression softened but he still looked wary. "You're not going to blackmail me or anything?" he asked.

Rey didn't respond but instead stroked Shinn's cheek. "You should have told me Shinn." He finally said.

Shinn looked down. "I know, I'm sorry." He replied quietly. Rey tilted his chin up and kissed him shortly. "It's okay Shinn, just tell me next time okay?" he asked. Shinn nodded, seeming to be under the blonde's spell.

"So…how did it go?" he asked and took a step back.

"Um, good. We went to the beach and met up with one of Athrun's friends. He was nice." Shinn replied.

Rey raised an eyebrow. "Athrun's _friends_ usually aren't that trustworthy Shinn, unless you suddenly adore Cagalli." He said darkly.

"I know, and no I don't. But this guy seemed okay." Shinn said shortly.

"What else happened?" Rey asked, hinting.

"Nothing really. We talked a lot." Shinn said, not making eye contact.

Rey began getting worried. He knew about Shinn's past and knew how the boy could get sometimes, and he suspected that he was lying. He decided to point it out to him.

"You're lying."

Shinn sighed and turned away from him, putting his shirt in the dirty laundry basket before unzipping his pants.

"Shinn." Rey said in a warning tone. "Ugh! Fine he found out about what happened when I was a kid okay!?" he exclaimed and turned back around.

Rey wrapped his arms around him and Shinn relaxed instantly. "Did he hurt you?" he murmured with a hint of danger.

"No, so don't you dare hurt him, but thanks for caring." Shinn replied. "You're welcome." Rey answered.

Shinn turned to face the taller blonde and hugged him, closing his eyes. No one had ever cared for Shinn except his family, but even then he still felt like something was missing. He didn't care what people thought about Rey, he was really a good guy and a good friend. He was a shoulder to cry on _and _a good training partner!

They ended the embrace and Rey let Shinn finish getting ready for bed, after he brushed his teeth Rey pulled him onto his bed and wrapped his arm around him. Shinn snuggled up to him and soon fell asleep.

* * *

Athrun went into his room and pulled out his cell phone. He turned it on to see a missed call from Kira and immediately called him back with a smirk tugging at his lips.

"_Hey. Did you make it back okay?" _Kira asked.

Athrun chuckled and answered, "Yeah, we made it back fine. How are you?"

"_Good, but I miss you already." _Kira said and Athrun could envision him pouting.

"Aw, I miss you too Kira. How are Cagalli and Lacus?"

"_They're good, sad that they didn't get to see you though." _Kira said with a hint of anger.

Athrun sighed. "Kira you know I couldn't with Shinn around! There would just be too many problems! Why are you trying to make me feel bad!?" he exclaimed.

There was a pause and then Kira responded with: _"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I guess…I'm just jealous." _He confessed.

Athrun's heart fluttered and skipped a beat as he gasped. Kira was jealous. _SWEET!_

"_Athrun? Are you okay?" _Kira asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm just surprised that I actually managed to get you jealous." He said with a smirk.

"_Yes, and I know exactly what you're thinking but let me tell you something Athrun Zala; we've known each other ever since we were children and we've been friends ever since then too. You know I don't like being toyed with at other people's expenses. I'm not going to be your little fall-back crush. I have feelings too." _Kira surprised him by saying.

"Kira, you know I wouldn't do that to you! I'm sorry if I seem a bit too excited, it's just…I really like you _and _Shinn…" Athrun began.

"_Oh no…please don't say what I think you're about to say!" _Kira groaned.

Athrun pouted. "Fine then, I won't. I just thought it could be fun." He said in a tone that Kira knew well.

The Ultimate Coordinator sighed. _"Athrun, are you honestly thinking about having a threesome? I just don't think it'll work out because one, we hardly ever have time to see each other, and two, Shinn hates me remember!? And I just can't keep a secret like that for so long." _He said.

"I know, it was just a stray little thought." Athrun said, but inside was a little hurt.

"_Fine then, we'll try it, but if something goes wrong it's your fault." _Kira finally conceded.

Athrun grinned and would have hugged him if he were there in person. "Thank you Kira! I love you!" he said cutely.

Kira smiled on the other end of the line. _"I love you too Athrun." _He said.

"Lights out!" Athrun heard Talia yell out in the hall. "Hey, I have to go now. I'll talk to you soon." He informed Kira.

"_Okay, bye." _

"Bye." Athrun said and hung up. He looked at his phone for a moment and decided about going to Shinn's room, but then decided against it since Talia or someone might see him.

So after getting ready for bed and got underneath the covers and turned out the light, thinking of what would happen if him, Kira, and Shinn were all in a room together.

Soft chuckles resounded throughout his room as he envisioned the two reacting with each other. _'That would be one fun night…' _he thought and then eventually fell asleep.

* * *

**-Author's Note: wahaha! I bet you saw that coming…please tell me what you think, any ideas are welcomed! And if you just feel the urgent need to flame me…I have a nice fireplace to put it to keep me warm! Peace out!-**


	7. Chapter 7: The Things One Does For Love

**Chapter 7: The Things One Does For Love**

**Disclaimer:**** Me no ownage the show or peeps, only Rayven and any other OCs I throw in. **

* * *

The siren went off again, not as early as last time but still early enough to make Shinn Asuka groan and throw the covers off of him. Rey sighed and also got up to get dressed.

"Stupid Naturals, no wonder they're so angry all the time! They don't get any sleep because they're too busy attacking everyone all the time!" Shinn yelled as he violently put on some clothes.

"Shinn, just relax. And don't you dare try anything stupid or cocky like you did last time or I'll shoot you down myself." Rey growled and pulled him close. Shinn glared at him and crossed his arms. Rey smirked.

"We wouldn't want you damaged for poor Athrun now would we?" he asked. Shinn blushed and quickly pushed him away. "Shut up." He grumbled and left.

Rey shook his head and then followed after him.

They went through the normal routine of putting on their flight suits (all eyes on Shinn of course as usual, hehehe) and were all out on the battlefield in time to defend their ship from the oncoming attacks.

"Don't they ever give up? We've practically already won and yet they're still determined to fight! I don't understand it." Luna commented as she blasted another ZAKU.

"They don't want to lose to their own creation." Rey replied and blasted a hole through a GOUF.

"Well they just need to deal with it!" Shinn shouted as he battled against Sting.

"You're nothing but monsters! You killed Stellar!" the boy yelled in rage. "I didn't kill her the Freedom did! I was trying to help her!" Shinn shouted back and blasted his arm off.

"She's still dead because of you! She grew careless because she thought she was in love with you! What did you do to her!?" Sting screamed and barely missed hitting Shinn's cockpit.

Shinn, however, was stunned. "She…she loved me? But…" he asked himself breathlessly.

"Shinn!" two voices yelled at him over the intercom. He snapped back to attention right before Sting's saber slashed through his legs.

He growled and slashed back, taking off the Gundam's head.

Athrun watched them fight and was grateful since Kira was close by fighting off Auel. He hoped that Shinn wouldn't try to attack him this time, or at least the battle would be over before he got a chance.

"Blast it! Why can't you people see that war only leads to destruction!?" Luna yelled and wiped out the Gundam that was attacking her.

"Why can't _you _see that you have no right to live you freak!?" a natural yelled and slammed into her.

"Ahhhh!" she screamed and ran into Shinn's Gundam, knocking him out of the way from Sting's attack.

"Luna! Are you alright?" he asked. "Yeah I'm fine." She replied.

"Shinn lookout!" Athrun yelled. Shinn looked just in time to dodge another attack from Sting and growled dangerously.

"Will you pay attention!? You're going to get killed if you don't focus!" Athrun yelled at him.

"Stop yelling at me and maybe I _can _focus Zala!" Shinn replied. Athrun glared at him in warning but Shinn ignored him and slashed straight through Sting's Gundam, destroying it and the pilot inside.

"STING!" Auel cried and raced toward the destroyed Gundam.

"Blast you!" he yelled and attacked Shinn mercilessly. Shinn growled again and attacked with just as much ferocity.

Suddenly, the Freedom Gundam came out of nowhere and blasted Auel's Gundam right before he was about to land the final blow to Shinn.

The red-eyed boy gasped and stared at the Gundam in wonder before he heard the Naturals call for a retreat.

"Shinn. They're retreating. Talia is telling us to go back as well." Athrun told him more calmly.

"Why did he do that?" Shinn asked him, still shocked. "Maybe because he's tired of this war and just wants it to end, or he was trying to help you. I don't know Shinn, but we need to get back now." Athrun told him.

The boy nodded and they flew back to the Minerva together. Rey glanced at them as they were undressing and Shinn gave him a warning glare before going off with Athrun.

* * *

They went inside the bluenette's room and sat on his bed, Shinn unusually silent yet again.

"I still can't believe…he saved me…but why? He killed my family…" Shinn murmured.

Athrun sighed. "Shinn, it was an accident, shots are fired, and if they miss their target they unfortunately land somewhere else. Besides, he was only trying to stop the fighting in ORB." He said.

Shinn narrowed his eyes and looked suspiciously at him. "How do you know?" he asked.

Athrun was taken a-back for a moment, not knowing what to say. _'Should I tell him the truth?' _he wondered.

Shinn continued looking at him suspiciously as a sudden thought entered his mind. _'It can't be…is Rey right? What if Kira…?' _he thought, hoping that it wasn't true, that Kira from the beach wasn't the pilot of Freedom.

Fate can be so cruel.

'_I can't lie to Shinn, he deserves to know. It's now or never.' _Athrun thought as he made up his mind. He took a deep breath and then told Shinn the truth.

"The pilot of the Freedom Gundam is Kira Yamato, the boy we met with at the beach. He's my best friend, ever since childhood. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, but I just wanted you to know who you're hating." He said almost bitterly.

Shinn's face held many emotions; anger, sadness, shock…so it took him a while to react until he finally glared at his boyfriend and then ran.

He ran out of the room, down the hall, and into his and Rey's room before Athrun could even make it out of the door after him.

'_Shinn…please forgive me…forgive Kira…please.' _He prayed as he sighed and went back to his bed. He glanced at his desk, eyeing his cell phone, and decided to make a call…

* * *

When Shinn ran into the room he stopped, panting and looking furious and betrayed, but mostly sad.

Rey looked up from his book to see the first tears slide down Shinn's cheeks.

"Shinn, what happened? Did he hurt you?" the blonde asked and was instantly by the raven-haired boy's side.

Shinn hugged him, pressing his head against his chest. "Yes, he hurt me, but not physically. He…he lied to me and betrayed me…Athrun…you bastard." He cried.

Rey's eyes hardened and he went to leave but Shinn clung to him. "No! Don't leave, please. Stay with me." He asked and looked into Rey's eyes.

The emotionless blonde's eyes softened and he hugged Shinn tighter. "I won't leave you Shinn. Do you want to talk about it?" he asked and led him to his bed where they sat.

"Athrun's friend we met at the beach…his name is Kira Yamato…and he's the pilot of the Freedom." Shinn told him, shaking and sobbing.

"What!? I told you, didn't I? You can't trust any of them." Rey replied angrily.

"I really thought he was a nice guy, I actually liked him a little, but he was the one who killed my family, Mayu, Stellar…and Athrun had the nerve to not even tell me until now! He said that he just wanted me to know who I was hating! Well now I hate them both!" Shinn confessed angrily, but then gasped as a pain gripped at his heart.

Pain…gripping his heart…it actually _hurt _to say that he hated the bluenette now; at the beginning of the war it didn't bother him to say that he hated Athrun, but now it actually _hurt_.

He really did fall in love with Athrun Zala. And that made the pain of betrayal even worse as the tears continued to pour out of his eyes.

"Shh, don't worry, I'll get them both. They won't get away with hurting you, I promise." Rey whispered dangerously.

"No, Rey, you can't hurt them…" Shinn heard himself saying. Rey pushed him back a bit to look into his eyes.

"What are you saying? At the beginning of this war you would like nothing more than to have them both killed! Now you're trying to save them!? He's really messed with you Shinn." Rey said.

"No, Rey, I can't explain it, I think I really love Athrun-," Shinn began but Rey cut him off. "No you don't Shinn, it's just a stupid crush, he's toying with you, playing with your emotions; you don't love him." Rey said quickly.

"Well I don't love you! Is that what you want from me Rey? Is that what you expect? For me to love you and do whatever you want!? Well I'm not like that. I'm not going to be used by anyone!" Shinn yelled and stood, glaring at his former friend. Rey grabbed his arm.

"Yes you are Shinn, you don't have to love me but I'm not going to let you fall into this madness! You'll thank me someday soon, I know it; you're not going anywhere tonight!" he hissed.

"Let go of me!" Shinn yelled and tried to yank his arm free. Rey pulled him forward and pinned him down on the bed.

"I said you're not going anywhere! Don't make this difficult Asuka." Rey warned. Shinn tensed and Rey smirked.

'_Oh no, please no, not again…Athrun, please help me, I'll forgive you if you spare me this again…I can't…I can't…' _Shinn thought as he began to cry again.

"Rey…please…don't do this." He cried.

"I won't if you don't make me, just calm down and I'll make you mine forever." Rey said.

"No! Help! Athrun!" Shinn shouted before Rey covered his mouth. Shinn tried to move his arm to struggle free but it was no use, his nerves wouldn't react; he was frozen in terror…again.

'_No, please don't do this, please don't make me go through this again…please someone help me!' _Shinn thought as Rey smirked deeper, knowing that Shinn was frozen and would give up soon.

"Get off of him now!" a shout was heard. Rey looked behind him to see Athrun pointing a gun at his head.

The blonde narrowed his eyes. "Or what? You'll shoot me? I'm no Natural Zala. Besides, what right do you have to be here anyway? You betrayed Shinn, he hates you now." He said.

"No he doesn't I heard the whole thing Rey. I won't let you hurt Shinn." Athrun said and took a step forward.

Rey growled and clenched Shinn's wrists tighter. He let out a muffled, pained sound and tried to move again, but he still couldn't and his heart was beating faster and faster, unable to slow down.

"I said get off of him Rey, I'm not afraid to shoot you; I'm no Natural either, and I'm the best gunman here whether I like it or not." Athrun warned through clenched teeth.

Rey moved one of his hands slowly toward the waistband of his pants, where a gun was hidden.

'_No, he'll shoot Athrun! I can't let this happen, I can't just sit here in fear and let him do this!' _Shinn thought angrily. He bit Rey's hand that was still over his mouth and grabbed his other hand before it reached his pants, flipping them over so that he had Rey pinned beneath him.

"Shinn!? What are you doing!? He's only going to hurt you again! You have to listen to me! I care about you!" Rey shouted in anger. I'm really trying not to make him the bad guy here, but it seems impossible…just know that he really cares about Shinn and is only trying to protect him from Athrun…

"You tried to rape me Rey, you know that's my fear, you know I wouldn't be able to stop you. _That _is worse than any lie Athrun may have said. I can't believe you Rey." Shinn said bitterly.

Rey's anger disappeared and he looked at Shinn sadly, knowing that what he almost did was wrong. He stopped struggling and looked away from Shinn.

Athrun came up to them and touched Shinn's shoulder. The boy still looked wary and angry but slid off of Rey while Athrun had the gun pointed at him.

"Go get Talia, I'll stay here." Athrun said gently. Shinn nodded and then ran out of the room and down the hall towards Talia's office. He met no one on the way there, fortunately for him, and burst into Talia Gladys's office panting for breath.

"Shinn? What's wrong?" she asked after taking in his disheveled and still frightened appearance.

"R-Rey tried t-to…he tried to r-rape me, Captain Talia. Athrun came in and stopped him, he told me to tell you." Shinn said and blushed, feeling suddenly awkward and uncomfortable again.

"Rey? But why? I thought you two were friends." She said and stood, walking over to him.

"We were, but…I can't explain it. I'm sorry Captain Gladys." He said and lowered his head.

She put her hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eye. "You don't have to explain, I'll take care of it. Do you want me to get you something? Tylenol, water?" she asked.

He shook his head and followed her back to his room where Rey was still on the bed and Athrun was pointing the gun at him.

"Athrun, thank you for protecting Shinn, you can stand down now." She said to Athrun.

"Rey, I'm very disappointed in you, you'll be transferred to a different ship and put in the green-coat rank for now until I decide a better punishment." She said to the blonde angrily. He got up and she led him by the arm out of the door, he cast Shinn a sad and longing look as they passed each other, and Shinn looked away.

When they were gone Athrun came up to Shinn and carefully hugged him.

"Shinn, I'm so sorry for lying to you, I never meant to hurt you, I swear. Is there anything I can do?" he asked, sorrow thick in his voice.

Shinn sniffed and gave in, leaning against Athrun. "I don't know, I just want some rest right now. C-can I come back to your room?" he asked, not looking at Athrun.

"Sure, come on." He replied and they walked back to his room.

When they got there Shinn curled up on the bed into a ball and stared ahead, his eyes seeming empty.

Athrun sat on the edge, looking concerned for his boyfriend, and finally slipped in next to him, putting his arm around the boy who grasped it and held on tightly, as if afraid that letting go would make him fall. And in all actuality, it just might.

Shinn was on the mental edge, tempted to take the step into oblivion but too afraid to leave everyone behind. _**'There's nothing left for you here, Shinn, don't be afraid.' **_A voice seemed to say to him. It was soft and comforting, but also eerie.

'_No, Athrun saved me, he lied to me, but he still saved me. I can't leave him. I don't want to go insane.' _Shinn thought, battling against himself.

The recent events left his mind utterly chaotic. He already had trust issues, and he was still trying to repair the trust with Athrun that was broken when the bluenette experimented with Shinn's fear.

His insides seemed to churn, making him feel sick and in pain. His head pounded and his skin was hot, too hot. His mind was in a frenzy, trying to figure everything out.

Athrun lied to him, Kira killed his family and yet saved him today, he obviously knew who Shinn was that day on the beach, but acted so nice, almost as if trying to make up for his mistake.

"_This is war, Shinn, people get killed; it can't be helped. Besides, how many families and friends do you think you killed? This is war; this is why I hate it." _Athrun had told him when Kira killed Stellar.

'_Stellar, why did you die? Why did you leave me? Why can't I come with you? Why can't I be with you in Heaven or wherever you are?' _Shinn thought longingly.

'_Why didn't I die with Mayu, mom, and dad? Why did I have to live? Why is Fate punishing me like this? What did I do to deserve this pain and torture?' _he asked, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears from spilling again.

Athrun's arm held onto him tighter, but the other man said nothing. Shinn wasn't sure whether to be fortunate or hurt, but instead focused on backing away from the ledge.

'_There has to be a reason why I survived, and whatever it is, I'm going to find out no matter what. I can't let give up and let more people die to this senseless war. I'll stop it, for the world's sake- for Mayu.' _He thought and opened his eyes that were filled with determination.

He sat up and turned to look at Athrun, who also sat up.

"Shinn? Are you feeling better?" he asked, still concerned. The boy nodded and leaned forward, closing the distance between them with a kiss.

"Athrun, I'm sorry for running, it's just that the news about Kira…I still don't like it, just promise never to lie to me like that again okay?" he said when they parted.

"I promise Shinn. I never meant to hurt you, I was just being selfish. Do you really forgive me?" he asked.

"Not entirely, but for now I suppose. I'm hungry, let's get something to eat." He said and got up.

Athrun also got up and they walked to the cafeteria. Luna, Meyrin, and the younger boys from the hanger were all sitting together eating. Shinn and Athrun got some food and joined them.

"Hey there, I heard some ruckus by your room, Shinn. What happened, and where's Rey?" Luna said.

"Rey…is going to be transferred to a different ship. He…tried to hurt me. I'm sorry if you guys were disturbed or upset." Shinn told them calmly, although a hint of fear was still in his voice and expression.

"What!? I thought you two were friends!" Luna exclaimed. "Yeah, why would he hurt you? Was he just angry that you were almost killed?' Meyrin asked.

"I…I don't know why. Can we please not talk about it?" he asked softly and they nodded. Luna put her hand on Shinn's shoulder and smiled at him, a reassuring look that said "Everything will be okay".

Athrun put his arm around his waist and the red-eyed boy leaned a little closer to him. The two Hawke sisters noticed this but said nothing, only smiled slightly to themselves.

After they ate Shinn decline their offer to train, saying he was just tired and needed to rest. Athrun accompanied him back to his room and he curled up on the bed again, this time reaching for Athrun and snuggling up to him when he also got on the bed.

Athrun ran his hand through Shinn's hair as the boy closed his eyes. He kissed his forehead and laid his head on the pillow as Shinn fell asleep, matching his breathing to Athrun's heartbeat.

Athrun also fell asleep soon after, but not before he made a promise: _'Shinn, I promise to always protect you and be there for you. I'll never let anyone hurt you again.' _

Could he really keep such a promise in the midst of a war?

* * *

**-Author's Note: Alright, enough for now. What did you think? I hope you don't hate me, I really wanted Rey to be a good guy in this one, so please don't hate him! (Huggles Rey) I'm so sorry! **

**Rey: (sighs) Yeah, yeah.**

**Me: Daaa! Please review and tell me what you think, thank you to all those who have already reviewed and are loyal to me and this fic! I couldn't have gotten this far without you guys! Thanks so much! (Hugs you all)-**


	8. Chapter 8: Shock Therapy

**Chapter 8: Shock Therapy**

**Disclaimer:**** No ownage except for Rayven and any other OCs I decide to throw in, oh and the –plot- (or lack thereof) of this particular fiction belongs to me!**

_Hey guys! Yeah, it's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry for the extremely long wait, hopefully this chappy will make up for it! Thanks to all my loyal reviewers who've stayed with me!_

* * *

"_I wanna go out and play!" young Shinn yelled._

_Clarice sighed. "Okay-!" was all Shinn heard as he raced out of the door and towards the playground._

"_Hey Shinn! Let's play hide-and-seek!" a little boy said as he approached a group of kids his age._

"_Okay! Who's it?" the little boy asked and a young girl volunteered. They ran off to hide while the girl counted to ten, giggling and smiling._

_Shinn ran around a tree and crouched down behind some bushes, watching between the leaves._

_After a while, seeing no one, he frowned and peeked over the hedges, it was getting dark. He walked out from behind the bushes and walked to the large tree in the center of the playground that was supposed to be their Home Base. No one was there._

_He heard a door shut and saw that everyone had returned home. He pouted and trudged back to his Aunt's house._

"_Hey there, little boy." He heard a husky voice say behind him._

"_Oh, hi! Do you want to play?" Shinn asked, smiling up at the man._

_The man grinned and leaned forward. "Yeah, let's play a game. Pull down your pants and bend over." He said._

"_Hey! I didn't do anything wrong! Don't spank me!" Shinn cried, taking a step back._

"_Oh no, it's not that, it's the total opposite! Trust me." The man said and held out a hand._

"_Oh, alright then!" Shinn said and held out his own hand. The man took it and pulled hard, then slapped his other hand over Shinn's mouth._

"_Don't scream too loud now, you don't want to wake up the neighbors." The man whispered into his ear. Shinn's eyes widened and he struggled, but the man was much stronger than him and easily pushed him down onto the ground._

"_Hahaha! This is better than taking candy from a baby! Candy you can get over, but virginity is something that you'll never forget losing! Hahahaha!" the man laughed._

"AHHHH!!!!" Shinn screamed, sitting up and panting heavily, sweat rolling off his skin.

"Shhhh, Shinn, it's alright, it was just a nightmare." A comforting voice said beside him. He looked to the side and saw Athrun, his expression concerned and wary, with his hand halfway reaching towards him.

He wiped at his face and found tears; he got up and staggered into the bathroom, Athrun quickly following.

He washed his face and leaned over the sink, taking deep breaths.

Athrun put his hand on Shinn's shoulder, and the boy turned and hugged him tightly, crying.

Athrun rubbed his back and held him close, whispering words of comfort.

"_All hands to Level One Battle Stations!" _

Shinn jerked back and wiped his face dry and they both rushed to the hangar. After they got dressed they raced to their Gundams. As Shinn passed Rey's he faltered and stopped, looking up at it.

"Shinn, what are you doing? Your Gundam is over there!" Luna called to him as she ran to hers.

Athrun looked back as he was lifted up to his cockpit, staring worriedly at his boyfriend. Shinn seemed to snap out of his trance and continued to Impulse.

"It looks like those ORB guys are officially on our side now." Luna commented as they made their way to the battlefield.

"What do you mean?" Athrun asked, searching for Kira.

"Well, that Freedom Gundam helped us out last time, and it looks like he's doing it again. At least I don't have to fight him, he's really powerful!" she said.

"Oh, right. Guess so." Athrun said, watching Shinn's reaction. The boy was either very carefully guarding his expression or emotionless to the news, because his expression was blank and he remained quiet.

Luna seemed to pick up on this and frowned a bit. "Shinn, I'm really sorry about what happened last night, but he's not here anymore, so you don't have to worry, besides, you've got me and Athrun." She told him.

"Pay attention and don't get yourself killed, Luna." He said coldly before attacking a nearby mobile suit.

She scowled, hurt, but ignored him and started fighting.

Athrun watched him carefully, still very worried.

"Same goes for you, Athrun." Shinn said, barely looking at him.

"Just don't get too cocky, Shinn, and we'll all be fine." He replied in a somewhat playful tone. Shinn glared at him and Athrun grinned.

Shinn slashed the Mobile Suit in half, and after the explosion cleared, he saw the Freedom Gundam before him.

He gasped as a little life came back to his eyes and did nothing for a moment.

A screen popped up on his monitor, showing Kira's face.

"Hey, Shinn. Nice to see you again." He said and smiled.

Athrun did a face-palm and flew closer to where they were, in case Shinn finally decided to snap.

"Um…hi, Kira." Shinn said after a while, the shock wearing off.

"You don't seem as surprised as I thought you'd be. Did Athrun already tell you?" Kira asked, disappointment and relief coloring his voice.

"Yeah, last night." Shinn answered, then flinched and looked away.

"What's the matter? Are you alright? Look, I'm sorry about your family, I really am…" Kira said, also looking worried.

"I…I'm fine. It's just…something happened to me last night…I don't want to talk about it." Shinn answered shakily.

"Oh…" Kira replied. "Athrun, what happened?" he asked his friend, switching connections.

"His friend…tried to rape him…it's a long story." Athrun answered.

Kira gasped and looked around. "Where is he?!" he exclaimed.

Athrun half-smiled. "He was switched to a different ship for the time being. There wasn't much that could be done."

"That's unacceptable! How could he get away with that!?" he yelled, steadily getting angrier. He didn't realize that Shinn was still listening, however.

"Kira, calm down, we're in the middle of a fight, you know." Athrun said.

Kira looked confused and then grinned sheepishly. "Oh, right, guess I got a little sidetracked." He said.

"Yeah, guess so." Athrun replied, smiling at his friend's foolishness.

Kira got serious again. "If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know, okay?" he said.

Athrun nodded and then glanced at Shinn. "I don't think he's alright, we need to help him before he gets hurt."

Shinn's Gundam hadn't moved much since Kira first approached him, and a few Mobile Suits were starting to gather around him.

Kira nodded and fired his beam cannons at them, and Athrun slashed at the remaining Gundams.

Shinn shook his head to regain his focus and started to defend himself properly as more Gundams approached.

"Shinn! Athrun! What's going on? We're already down one fighter; get a move on it already! I can't defeat these guys all by myself!" Luna yelled, trying to fight off three mobile suits.

"Got it!" they both replied. They both went serious and continued fighting, Kira helping them out as much as possible.

* * *

**In PLANTs**

"Well, what do we have here?" Gilbert Durandal asked the man who had handed him a file.

"Attempted Rape of a ZAFT Elite Soldier, sir." The man replied and Rey stepped forward, an officer one each side of him, holding him by the forearms.

"Rey Za Burrell. How do you plead to this charge?" Durandal asked the blonde.

"Guilty. I'm not really sure what I was thinking, but I deserve the full punishment for my inappropriate actions." Rey replied, staring forward.

Gilbert glanced from Rey to the officer standing before him. "Who was the soldier?" he asked.

"Shinn Asuka, sir. They're both from the Minerva. Acting FAITH Officer Athrun Zala reportedly stopped any harm to befall Mr. Asuka by gunpoint and Captain Talia Gladys ordered Mr. Burrell to report to the Revenge until she could arrange this meeting with you. She sends her regards and is sorry for not being able to attend the boy's hearing." The officer reported.

"Very well. Despite that fact that no harm came to Mr. Shinn Asuka, I'm afraid I must detach you from ZAFT Military and demote you to civilian. You will not be able to rejoin ZAFT. We cannot have rapists defending our people." Gilbert said.

"I understand, Chairman Durandal." Rey replied.

He nodded and then gestured to the officer and they left the office.

'_My, my, Shinn, what trouble have you gotten into this time?' _he wondered, staring at the file.

* * *

"Hurrah! Yeah! We won!" shouts arose from the battlefield as victory was announced to Zaft.

They battled on for hours, but without the Extendeds, the Earth Alliance couldn't win, and so were soundly defeated. The Archangel and her crew left for ORB, Athrun and Shinn in tow…

* * *

**Aboard the Archangel**

Shinn, Athrun, Cagalli, and Kira were lounging around, relaxing from the hard battle.

"Thanks again for helping us, Kira." Athrun said, smiling at his friend.

Kira beamed at him. "You're welcome! I did what I could, we all did. Thanks for not giving up on us."

He chuckled and then glanced at Shinn.

"Are you alright? It's been a rough week." Athrun asked him.

"Hm? Yeah, I'm fine, Athrun." Shinn replied and smiled at him.

"Wow, I'm still shocked at all of this." Cagalli said, glancing at each of the boys.

"Yeah, we actually won! It's finally over!" Athrun exclaimed and high-fived Shinn.

"Well yes, but I meant the fact that you two were dating and all of that." She replied casually. They blushed and Kira looked away.

"Oh, sorry, it's none of my business really." She said sheepishly.

"No, it's alright. No need to hide it anymore." Athrun said and smiled at Shinn. The younger boy leaned onto his chest, relaxing and closing his eyes.

Kira gave him an envious look and Cagalli smirked. "Well, it's been a long day; I'm going to get some rest. See you boys later." She said.

Kira looked up and scowled, knowing that she was leaving the three of them alone on purpose.

"Um, I'm going to get some rest as well." He said awkwardly and got up to leave.

"Hey! We need to talk, _now_." Athrun told him, looking serious. Shinn opened his eyes and sat up, glancing from Athrun to Kira.

Kira sat back down. "About what?" he asked, faking ignorance.

Athrun scowled. "You know what." He said, glancing at Shinn who looked even more confused than before.

"Athrun, what are you talking about?" the red-eyed teen asked, looking wary.

"Yes, Athrun, how about you clue us in to your little conversation." Kira said.

Athrun sighed. "Kira, you're being unreasonable." He said.

"Me being unreasonable!? Look at you!" Kira shouted and stood, pointing at Athrun and Shinn's entwined hands.

Athrun smirked. "You can always join us, Kira-kun." He purred.

"Hey! Hold up now! What are you talking about!?" Shinn squeaked.

"Relax, Shinn. I think it's time to tell you the truth, the whole truth." Athrun told him calmly.

"Athrun." Kira warned, still standing.

"Sit." Athrun commanded, pointing to the seat next to Shinn, who looked close to insane.

Kira eyed the seat warily, but slowly sat down. Shinn's eyes were livid as he glared at Athrun.

"Uh, hi." Athrun said sheepishly, grinning.

Shinn growled, gripping his hand tightly. "What else have you been hiding from me, Athrun?" he asked darkly.

"Well, you know that Kira is the pilot of the Freedom Gundam, you know that we're very good friends, but what you don't know is that we're…lovers." He finally said.

"…"

Kira sighed. "Athrun, do you really think this is the best time to tell him this? I mean, he just found out about me the other day, and he's been through a lot already." He said.

"Well…I just wanted him to know. I don't want to hide anything from him anymore." The bluenette answered.

"WHAT!? WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THIS ATHRUN!!!???" Shinn shrieked, tackling Athrun to the floor.

"Uhhh, sometime soon." He answered. Shinn was shaking with rage and couldn't find the words to express his feelings properly, so he decided to simply strangle Athrun instead.

"Hey, stop! Shinn!" Kira exclaimed and grabbed the boy, holding his arms behind his back.

Athrun sat up and scowled at Shinn. "Just be glad I even decided to tell you! Maybe Kira's right, I told you too soon." He said and stood.

"No, you told me too late! I can't believe you Athrun! What's next, you're actually a woman!?" Shinn yelled, struggling against Kira.

"Uh, no, that's really everything. I suppose it'd be too much to ask if you'd like to be in a threesome with us though, right?" Athrun asked.

Shinn froze, eyeing Athrun warily. There was silence for a moment as Kira and Athrun both held their breath.

"Oof!" Kira huffed out as Shinn collapsed against him. "Wow, he's heavy!"

"Is he alright?" Athrun asked, rushing over to them.

"Yeah, I think he just fainted. Well, you sure know how to shock people. Never throw me a Surprise Birthday Party." Kira told him.

They knelt down next to the unconscious Shinn, and then glanced at each other.

Athrun grinned and leaned forward; Kira blushed and closed the distance.

* * *

**-Author's Note: Ahhhh, young love! Well, the war is over, thank God! I couldn't handle any more fighting scenes, I'm just not good at them and I haven't even seen the whole series so before I could totally ruin it I just kinda…ended it…eh heh. Besides, this story isn't about the fighting and how true it is to the actual series, it's about Shinn and Athrun. So, what did you think? Reviews are always welcome, questions and comments as well. If you have an ideas or the like feel free to tell me about it, just click the pretty little button! Thanks and peace out!-**


	9. Chapter 9: To Three, or Not To Three

**Chapter 9: To Three, or Not To Three**

**Disclaimer:**** Me no ownage except for OC characters and –plot- of the fic.**

* * *

"I still think it could have waited."

"What, until he trusted me again just so I can get him to _mistrust _me again!? I know he was overwhelmed, but I didn't want him to feel like I was hiding anything else, I'm sure I could have done it by other means but I just wanted to get it off my chest!"

"Shhh, you'll wake him!"

"Don't 'shh' me! You were the one that agreed to a threesome in the first place!"

"Athrun, will you just calm down?"

Shinn opened his eyes and saw the two males standing near the large windows of the Archangel Lounge Room. He slowly got up, trying not to let them know he was awake just yet.

_Creak_.

'_Crap.'_

"Shinn!" Athrun nearly screamed and ran over to the boy, who pushed himself to the farthest edge of the couch, away from Athrun. His expression was fearful, wary, and confused.

"Stay away from me, both of you." He told them, putting a hand out to stop Athrun from coming any further.

Athrun looked hurt and Kira sighed, looking at Athrun with an "I told you so" expression.

"Shinn, just calm down, everything's going to be alright." Athrun told him with a concerned look.

"Yeah, once I get out of this madhouse and away from you crazy…perverted freaks!" Shinn yelled and got up, stumbling backwards away from Athrun.

"Shinn," Athrun pleaded, holding a hand out to him.

"Athrun, you're only making things worse. Just give him some time, okay?" Kira suggested, taking a few steps forward.

"You!" Shinn said, pointing at Kira with an angry expression. Kira looked shocked and took a small step back, as if Shinn were about to hit him.

"I don't know what the heck you're playing at, but…don't come near me…either of you…just stay away!" Shinn yelled and ran out of the door as Cagalli stomped in.

She looked at the running Shinn and turned slowly to the two remaining males with a glare of doom.

"You woke me up. I haven't slept in three days. With your yelling, I also have a headache. WHAT THE CRAP HAPPENED IN HERE!!!???" Cagalli yelled, furious and curious.

They flinched and exchanged worried and sheepish glances.

"Uhh, Shinn kinda freaked out because I told him about Kira and me…" Athrun said.

"And then he told him about the threesome idea and he fainted." Kira added.

"And he just woke up and is freaking out again…we should probably stop him from getting to his Gundam…" Athrun finished.

Cagalli gave them a flat glare and mumbled very unkind words as she stomped out of the room.

Athrun and Kira looked at each other before running out after Shinn.

* * *

Shinn leaned against the wall next to the door to the hangar, panting and overwhelmed with everything that happened. He was trembling, but whether it was out of fear or anger he wasn't sure, which was what scared him the most.

'_I should hate them both for this, I should be angry and want to leave; I should want to kill them! But why do I feel like I should stay and…be with them?' _he asked himself.

He glanced inside the hangar, staring longingly at his Gundam. _'Maybe if I just left for a bit to clear my mind, I can figure all this out.' _He thought.

However, right before he entered the Hangar, an alarm sounded and the doors closed, refusing to open by the button beside it.

"What's going on now? Another attack? But why would the Hangar close and not open?" he asked out loud.

"Shinn!" two voices yelled out his name and he spun around just in time to get tackled by Athrun. They landed on the ground with a _thud_, Athrun nearly pinning him down. He stared up at his boyfriend in horror, his mind immediately going back to the dream he had the night before.

Athrun was panting from running and saw Shinn's panicked and fearful expression. "Look, Shinn…I'm sorry about all this…but please don't leave…I love you, okay? I just…didn't want to hide anything else…from you…please forgive me?" he said, trying to catch his breath. Shinn stared at him for a moment, and then slowly turned his gaze to Kira.

Kira was standing beside them with a worried and hopeful expression, smiling at Shinn sheepishly when the boy looked at him.

Shinn looked back to Athrun and then said, "You're crushing me." in a muffled tone.

"Oh! Sorry!" Athrun said and got up quickly, leaving Shinn gasping for breath. He pulled him up and then looked expectantly at him.

"Um…" Shinn began, not knowing what exactly to say. "I just…need some time to think this over. I was just going to leave for a bit until I could clear my head, I was coming back." He told them.

"I told you so _again_." Kira stated and Athrun scowled at him.

He was about to say something more when Kira interrupted him. "Look, why don't Shinn and I talk this over for a bit, okay? You're not exactly helping matters."

Athrun sighed. "Fine."

Kira smiled. "Good, now shoo." He said and made a shooing motion. Athrun scowled again and walked back to the lounge, sulking.

Shinn eyed Kira warily as he turned back to him, smiling.

"I realize that this is very overwhelming, but I want you to know that I really am sorry for what happened…to your family. I don't know what else happened this week, but I hope that we can still be friends, if not more than friends. Athrun's just so excited and eager he isn't thinking clearly, but please don't hate him or anything because of it, he…well…he likes companionship, if that makes sense." Kira told him slowly.

"Uh, yeah, I get that. But…I don't understand…why…" Shinn struggled for the exact words, but Kira knew what he was trying to ask.

He motioned to the side door leading to the locker room and they sat down on a bench.

"Well, Athrun and I have been friends for a very long time, but when the first war started, Athrun and his father moved away and he ended up joining ZAFT. When I was pulled into the war by the Earth Alliance, I had no idea that he would soon become my enemy. Needless to say, it was rough on both of us, but we just couldn't hate each other. So when he joined the Archangel near the end of the war, we started talking, and we realized that we really liked each other.

"We share a bond that's deeper than friendship yet more romantic than family, so we decided to date I guess. We really enjoy each other and have a lot in common, so everything was fine until the second war started and he rejoined ZAFT. Then he met you. You may not have noticed, but Athrun is a bit of…well, I can't say 'Ladies' Man' because we're both men, but you get what I mean. His eyes wandered from time to time, and he really liked you. Since we weren't really sure whether we were technically boyfriends, I guess he decided to start a relationship with you.

"When he told me about you, of course I was angry and jealous, which he got a kick out of, and so he suggested a threesome. Now, I'm not really into wild, crazy sex with strangers, but I figured that I couldn't really stop him from dating you anyway so I agreed. When we met at the beach, I could see why he was drawn to you. I just didn't think he'd try to start this little threesome so fast, since you and I barely even know each other." Kira explained.

"Oh, yeah, it's a bit fast. But I think I understand him a little more now." Shinn told him.

"So do you forgive him?" Kira asked.

Shinn glanced at him and was silent for a moment.

"Yes, but don't expect me to just automatically be okay with this…thing…" he said and made a weird face.

Kira smiled. "I know what you mean; we'll have to talk with him about that soon before he gets his hopes up." He said and chuckled.

Shinn's expression lightened a bit, but he still looked uncomfortable.

"So, um…Athrun told me that something happened last night…" Kira hesitantly probed. He was very curious about Shinn's personality and what Athrun had told him, but he didn't want to push Shinn too far.

"Oh, yeah…it's kind of a long story." Shinn replied also hesitantly. He had a strange desire to confide in Kira and to trust him, which he instantly found suspicious.

"Well, we have some time, unless you're not comfortable with telling me." Kira said.

Shinn looked at him for a moment and then began telling him about the incident in his childhood, then the visit he and Athrun had with his cousin, and then about the night before.

Kira listened quietly, occasionally making a comment or asking a question, and then added some stories of his own.

* * *

The two had been talking for an hour or so when Athrun walked into the locker room. His worried expression changed to joy when he saw them together.

"Hey! I was looking for you guys! Have you been talking this whole time?" he asked.

"Yeah, we were just explaining things and telling stories. But we need to talk to you." Kira replied.

Athrun's eyebrows furrowed.

"About what?" he asked. Kira and Shinn stood and led Athrun down the hall as they talked.

"I think it's a bit fast to be thinking of a threesome, first of all, and we need to figure out the relationship that we all share before we go any further." Kira told him.

Athrun pouted. "But that's not any fun." He whined.

"Well it's not going to be fun until we find out who's really dating who, Athrun." Shinn spoke up.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, technically you were cheating on Kira with me." Shinn replied.

"Yes, and I'd like to know whether we're just friends with benefits or boyfriends." Kira added.

"Well that's why I thought we should have a threesome! That would clear up all this confusion, we're all together!" Athrun explained.

"Okay but I'm not exactly ready for that." Shinn told him.

"Neither am I." Kira said.

"Well then what do you want me to do? Just date one of you until you're both ready?" Athrun asked confusedly.

Kira and Shinn glanced at one another and they stopped walking.

"We…weren't really sure what to do. I mean, Shinn and I barely know each other, yet we both know you enough to want to be in a relationship with you. We just don't want any confusion or mix-up." Kira explained. Shinn nodded, agreeing.

"Well then, why don't I just date both of you, unless you'd be jealous?" Athrun suggested.

The boys glanced at each other again, unsure of where to go from there. They were silent for a moment as they all thought of how to work it all out so that everyone was happy.

"What about Cagalli?"

* * *

**-Author's Note: Woot, I updated! I know, not as action-packed or fluffy, but still important, right? Please tell me what you think; any questions, comments, ideas or suggestions are greatly appreciated, go ahead and constructively criticize me while you're at it, I could use a few tips every now and then to help improve my writing skills! Thanks and peace out!-**


	10. Chapter 10: That Is the Question

**Chapter 10: That Is the Question**

**Disclaimer:**** So I don't own any characters except the OCs like Rayven. The… "plot" for this particular fiction comes from the workings of my mind, as disturbed as it is. Also, some sexual-ness here so kiddies look out! Rating may change because of it. Anyway! Sorry for the long wait, here's the chappy!**

* * *

_The boys glanced at each other again, unsure of where to go from there. They were silent for a moment as they all thought of how to work it all out so that everyone was happy._

"_What about Cagalli?"_

"What about her?" Athrun asked, since Kira was the one that asked. Shinn still looked less than loving concerning the blonde, but he remained silent as he waited for Kira's answer.

"Well, didn't you have a crush on her too? Remember, the island?" Kira hinted. Shinn tried not to glare at Athrun since once again he had no idea what was going on.

Athrun blushed and avoided Shinn's look. "Oh, uh, yeah I remember. But wouldn't bringing her into this make it more complicated?" he asked awkwardly.

Kira smirked. "You're not as smart as you make people think, Athrun. I meant what if we asked her what we should do? She's a girl…kinda…"

"Oh…that might work I guess, girls are better at this stuff anyway right?" Athrun replied. (Woah, déjà vu moment)

"Yeah, so let's go ask." Kira said and they glanced at each other awkwardly.

"Wait, Kira didn't you have a thing for Lacus?" Athrun asked, a questioning look on his face.

Kira sighed. "Yes, and then you kissed me. It all became a blur after that." He replied and Shinn clenched his fists, trying to remain calm. He cleared his throat while crossing his arms, looking at the two expectantly.

"Well, let's go ask Cagalli or Lacus, whoever we can find." Athrun said and made to leave.

"I don't think Lacus would be able to handle the news, she's kinda fragile." Kira said.

"Well then let's find Cagalli." Athrun suggested.

"Won't she eat us? I heard her yelling at you guys a mile away." Shinn said.

Athrun and Kira glanced at each other, then at Shinn.

"That's a risk we must be willing to take." Athrun replied nobly. Kira rolled his eyes and dragged Athrun towards Cagalli's quarters, Shinn following them shaking his head.

They knocked on Cagalli's door but there was no answer.

"Maybe she's in the cafeteria or training?" Kira said.

"Wait, I think I just heard something." Athrun replied and put his ear to the door.

Kira and Shinn glanced at each other then put their own ears up to the door.

"What…"

"The…"

"Hello boys, why are you all listening in at Cagalli's door?" Andy asked as he came up to them, a coffee mug in his hands.

They scrambled to an upright position and tried to come up with a plausible excuse.

"We uh, were just trying to see if she was in there, that's all." Athrun offered.

"I believe that's why people knock." Andy returned.

"We did, but she didn't answer." Kira replied quickly.

"Then she probably isn't in there. Oh wait, I saw Lacus go in there a little earlier, maybe they're doing girl stuff and can't hear you." Andy mused while the boys made disgusted faces.

"Yeah, 'girl stuff'." Shinn said with his nose crinkled.

Andy observed the boys' sick expressions and shrugged. "Try knocking louder or something." He advised and then walked away.

"So did anyone realize that…?" Athrun began.

"My sister and girlfriend are gay together!?" Kira shrieked, finishing Athrun's sentence after he trailed off. (Wahaha, my first lesbian reference!)

"Shhh!" Athrun and Shinn both hushed him.

Athrun put his hand on his shoulder. "I believe this answers our question. Since Lacus and Cagalli went to each other like we did, I say we just have a threesome. There! Problem solved!" he said cheerily.

Kira and Shinn gave him looks that meant the problem just got worse.

"Aw c'mon guys!" he whined and pouted.

"Athrun, how could you ask this of me?" Shinn finally spoke up, looking at him as if betrayed.

"Well, okay, maybe not, but there's three of us! And apparently the girls are taken! What do you propose we do?" Athrun asked.

"Maybe I should just leave and you two can be together. That's what was supposed to happen anyway, right?" Shinn told him.

"What!? No! I don't want you to leave!" Athrun cried, reaching for him as he took a step back.

"Then what about me, Athrun? You're gonna have to choose between us." Kira told him.

"But…" Athrun began, looking lost and sad.

"What's all this ruckus about!?" Cagalli asked as she opened the door.

They all glanced at each other awkwardly, not knowing what to do with the new information about the tomboyish blonde.

"Is everything alright out here?" Lacus asked as she poked her head around the corner.

"Uh, well, we're in a bit of a difficult situation. You're…girls…maybe you can help us." Athrun told them.

"Okay, what is it?" Cagalli asked, although already guessing as to what it might be.

"Well, I like Shinn and Kira, Shinn and Kira like me…but they don't want to do a threesome." He said.

"Because we barely know each other and I'm just now getting over the fact that you two were together before _we_ got together. Besides, he…never mind." Shinn added.

"And plus…when did you become gay with my girlfriend!?" Kira burst. Athrun face-palmed and Shinn took a few steps away from him, giving him a strange look.

Cagalli glared at him while Lacus blushed and smiled sheepishly. "Well, when we found out you and Athrun were together, we figured you wouldn't want to be with us anymore…and then one night…um…" Lacus said and shrugged.

"We figured we'd give you a taste of your own medicine…but then we liked it too much…sorry about not telling you." Cagalli continued and shrugged sheepishly as well.

"Well, that clears up some of the confusion, now what are we going to do?" Athrun asked, motioning towards Kira and Shinn and then to himself.

"Well you could date one, or they could date." Cagalli suggested.

"Or you can all just be friends until you figure out how you feel about each other." Lacus added.

"Or we could have an orgy." Cagalli said casually and everyone gaped at her. Athrun was about to smile and agree when she started laughing and told them she was just joking. Athrun pouted again.

"Well, take your pick. We're heading back to ORB so whatever you decide the war is over; you're free to go wherever you want." Cagalli told them.

Athrun looked to Kira and Shinn, and they glanced at each other.

"Well, thanks for helping, um, have…fun?" Athrun said and Cagalli winked while Lacus blushed. Kira was about to freak out again so Athrun pushed him down the hall, motioning for Shinn to follow.

"I always knew there was something off about you Athha." Shinn said with a suspicious look and Cagalli stuck her tongue out at him. Shinn returned the favor and caught up to Athrun as Cagalli closed her door. Giggling was heard.

* * *

"So what do you guys think?" Athrun asked when they returned to the lounge.

"I still think you two should just be together, since you've known each other longer." Shinn said.

"But we're really just good friends, well, friends with benefits. You're more his type dating-wise." Kira told Shinn.

"I like you both!" Athrun exclaimed and slumped down on the couch.

"And we don't know each other well enough to date, at least I don't think." Kira said to Shinn, ignoring Athrun.

"Yeah, still pretty weird." Shinn said apologetically. He couldn't get over the fact that Kira was responsible for his family's death, despite the fact that it was an accident. He also couldn't get over the fact that Kira and Athrun had been sleeping together. It was too much for him to handle, he hardly knew whether he even wanted to be with Athrun anymore in the first place!

Kira seemed to understand all too well what Shinn was feeling about the whole situation. He couldn't understand how this had gotten out of control. It started out as just a kiss; an experiment. They both liked each other, and wanted to see just how much they liked each other. When they discovered they liked the kiss, they ventured for more experimenting, and then all of a sudden they were sleeping together and almost dating.

They had been friends so long that they wanted to see if they could go further, and knew that if it didn't work out that they could just remain friends.

But then Athrun fell for Shinn, and while Kira only hoped it was lust, he knew that it was more than that. Now what were they going to do?

"Well what about your one-night stands? You were saying that this was only your second relationship right?" Athrun asked Shinn.

"Yeah…" Shinn said, eyeing the bluenette warily. Athrun quickly looked at Kira then back, raising his eyebrows. Shinn glared at him.

"Don't make me hurt you Zala." He growled threateningly.

"I'm too strong for you, Asuka." Athrun replied with a smug smirk.

"Yeah right! I could take you!" Shinn yelled.

"Do you guys always act like this?" Kira asked.

"Oh whatever. You see these?" Athrun said, flexing his muscles, "These could pummel you."

"And do you see these?" Shinn replied, shoving his fists in Athrun's face, "They could break your face and then no one would want you!"

"Hey now! That's not right." Athrun said, grabbing Shinn's wrists.

Shinn tried to pull them out of his grasp but Athrun held tight. "You're not right, Zala. You need to get your head examined, pervert!" he yelled.

"I'll let you do the honors, emo kid!" Athrun yelled back playfully.

"Uh, guys?" Kira squeaked, backing away yet wanting to stop them before they got into a fight.

"What did you call me!?" Shinn shrieked and tackled Athrun. He tried to punch him but Athrun blocked or dodged before grabbing his wrists again.

"You heard me, Mr. Angsty! At least I get pleasure out of being a pervert!" Athrun said.

"Freak!" Shinn screamed before he was flipped over on his back by Athrun, who was straddling him.

"Sexy." Athrun purred. The expression on Athrun's face made Shinn shudder and glare feebly, but he stopped moving.

"Alright you win. Get off." Shinn said quickly.

Athrun pouted and let go of Shinn's wrists, but didn't move further. Shinn threw him off and he yelped as Shinn scrambled backwards towards Kira.

"Um…what was that all about?" Kira asked, eyeing the two cautiously.

"Just the normal routine." Athrun sighed and went over to help Shinn up. The boy continued to eye him warily but accepted Athrun's hand.

"So…what are we going to do?" Kira asked.

Shinn sighed and sat down, putting his head in his hands. Athrun sat next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Kira saw this and knew what had to be done.

"Athrun."

The bluenette looked up and assessed Kira's expression.

"You and Shinn, despite your fights, seem to go well together. We're mainly friends anyway. Why don't you two date while Shinn and I get to know each other better, we can decide later on whether we'll do the threesome thing or not."

Shinn looked up and was about to say something but then looked at Athrun. He remembered the vacation, remembered the other night, remembered that despite their fights and cruel words, they really liked each other, maybe even loved each other.

Shinn turned to Kira and nodded.

"Are you sure Kira?" Athrun asked, not wanting to hurt him.

"Yeah, it works out better that way." Kira said and smirked slyly.

Athrun grinned and glanced at Shinn, who shrugged and leaned against him.

* * *

Cagalli and Lacus giggled quietly and scurried back to Cagalli's room. They had been eavesdropping, curious as to what the boys would decide.

"That is a tough decision. I mean, Athrun and Kira look really cute together, but so do Athrun and Shinn." Lacus said after the full-out laughter ended.

"Yeah, but Shinn and Kira would be fun to watch, I was hoping they'd take that option just so I can sell the tickets and eat the popcorn." Cagalli laughed.

"True, but they haven't gotten into a fight yet that I know of. Are you sure Shinn knows everything?" Lacus asked.

"Oh I'm sure he has a lot to learn, but as for the basic stuff: Kira=Freedom pilot=Athrun's boytoy, I think he's got it."

"That's a lot to take in as it is, and then Athrun just started pressing for a threesome? I'm surprised Shinn didn't…well…kill him!" Lacus exclaimed.

Cagalli started laughing again, holding her stomach and rolling around on the bed they were on. "Ha! That would've been fun to watch as well! Although it might still happen."

"But the war is over now, do you really want there to be more fighting? Especially amongst friends who care about each other?"

"True, that wouldn't be too good. But still, it would be funny, you have to admit, the boys clawing at each other. Seeing Shinn tackle Athrun was simply priceless."

"You're right, that was funny. I tried not to laugh in case they heard us." Lacus replied, chuckling again at the memory.

"What I don't get is what's Kira gonna do? I mean, now that Shinn and Athrun are officially dating, Kira can't just sleep with Athrun anymore. And since we're kinda…together, he can't go back to you. I'm worried he'll get jealous or depressed when he sees them and can't join, you know?" Cagalli said with a concerned look on her face.

"Yeah I know. Maybe he and Shinn will grow feelings for each other and they'll all end up together. Like I said earlier, Shinn hasn't been really hostile towards Kira; maybe he's slowly accepting him."

"Yeah, those looks weren't angry, that's for sure."

"What looks?" Lacus asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"You didn't see them? The glances they shared, or when they were talking to each other? It may not have been love or even friendship, but it was lust and comradeship. I think Athrun noticed them as well; maybe that's why he agreed to Kira's plan so easily." Cagalli told her.

"Oh? Maybe."

* * *

"I'm hungry, wanna go to the cafeteria?" Athrun asked Shinn. They were in one of the spare rooms; Kira went to pack up his things and left them alone.

"Nah, I don't think I can eat right now." Shinn replied.

"Oh, I'll wait then."

"No, no, you go ahead Athrun. If you're hungry, go eat. I'll join you later okay?" Shinn told him.

"Alright." He said and kissed him before grinning and leaving.

Shinn snorted with a half-smile on his lips as he fell backwards onto the bed and closed his eyes. He sighed and rubbed his face. This was a mess.

His first relationship didn't go all that well and now his second relationship is blowing up! What else was Athrun hiding? Could he ever trust him again? Should he? Should he just call it quits and let Kira and Athrun be together?

'_Athrun didn't want me to leave though, he wanted to stay with me. But he also wants Kira. What if he gets tired of me and goes back to Kira? Or even finds someone new? What should I do?' _he thought.

There was a soft knock on the door and he sat up to see Kira. "Oh, hey, come on in. Athrun went to go eat." He told the other boy.

"Oh okay. I just wanted to make sure you were alright with all of this. I know everything has been rushed, that's just Athrun. He's not really used to not getting what he wants. He's not spoiled or anything; he's just always…had the means." Kira explained.

"Makes sense. It's alright." Shinn replied.

"Good. I'm glad."

"What about you? This was your idea, but are you really okay with it? You two have known each other longer and are closer, I can tell. Do you really want to risk everything on me?" Shinn asked.

"I'm fine Shinn. I know by now that Athrun and I will always be friends, no matter what. We've survived two wars being on opposite sides. Besides, I can tell he really likes you. If he had felt the same for me, he wouldn't have gone out with you, ya know?"

"I guess. I still feel weird, like I stole him from you. I know…what happened was an accident…I understand, and really I'm not mad at you, just at what happened. And I understand what Athrun did, or, kinda. So we can be friends. I promise I won't go off on you one day or anything." Shinn told him and chuckled.

Kira smiled. "I'm really glad you feel that way. I like you, and I really hate what happened. I never intended to get involved in either wars, but I was forced to. I did a lot of help, but I also killed a lot of people and did a lot of wrong things. Just knowing that one person forgives me…makes me feel better."

Shinn smiled and hugged him. "You're welcome Kira-kun. I'm glad I have a few friends still around."

Kira hugged him back tightly. "Cagalli and Lacus will be your friends. I know you and Cagalli don't exactly agree on some things, but she can really be a good friend if you let her. And Lacus is really nice; she's good at helping people."

"Yeah, Athrun's told me." Shinn said as they pulled apart. They were close, with Kira sitting next to Shinn on the bed. They stared into each other's eyes, and the familiar urge that raged through Shinn's body demanded to be satisfied.

They continued smiling, and Shinn leaned forward. Kira saw in his eyes something raw and pure. He mentally smirked and also leaned forward; Athrun would get a kick out of this, if he got to see (which he wouldn't so far as he was concerned).

Shinn closed the distance with a tentative kiss, and Kira almost gasped as he kissed back. Athrun had talked about Shinn's sexuality, teasing him about how good he tasted and how good a kisser he was, but Kira thought he was just exaggerating to get him jealous.

Shinn deepened the kiss, wanting to know why Athrun wanted a threesome so desperately. He could tell Kira liked the kiss, and it grew from cautious to passionate quickly.

Shinn entwined his hands in Kira's hair as he let himself be lowered to the bed. Kira cupped Shinn's cheek and moaned. Then he was flipped and Shinn was running his hands all over the other coordinator. Kira pulled at Shinn's shirt while he pulled at his belt.

'_But wait, didn't Athrun say he got edgy around him whenever they were kissing or doing anything sexual? And what did he mean when he was talking about the one-night stands?' _Kira wondered. Shinn found a pleasure spot and Kira groaned, not caring anymore.

"And you two said you didn't know each other that well. _Tsk, tsk, tsk_."

Shinn gasped and pulled up, looking to find Athrun leaning against the doorway with a smirk on his face and a leer in his eyes.

Kira sat up but held Shinn close. "Shouldn't you knock, Athrun?" he asked sarcastically.

"This is my room for the moment. I honestly didn't think you two would be having sex when I brought back my food." He replied smartly. He had a tray in his hands of that day's dinner.

Shinn looked guilty and went to get up but Kira nudged him. When he turned back Kira kissed him again and found one of Shinn's pleasure spots. He heard Athrun gasp and Shinn moan, pushing him back down.

"Kira! That's not fair! He's _my_ boyfriend!" Athrun whined. They broke apart again to see Athrun pouting. Shinn chuckled and smirked at him. Kira stuck his tongue out at him.

"Oh you are going to get it!" Athrun yelled, setting the tray on a table and lunging at them. Shinn let out an "Eep!" and was pinned while Athrun started tickling Kira.

Shinn felt up Athrun's legs as Kira tried to grab his hands. Athrun yelped and pried Shinn's hands off his legs, but he apparently had experience with this, because he started moving around beneath Athrun, making his eyes flutter.

Kira pushed him down and started tickling him, and then Shinn joined in.

"You get his tickle spots; I'll get his pleasure spots." Kira said.

"Hey! You guys better follow up on this foreplay or I'll-!" Athrun moaned and tried to get their hands off of him.

Just then Kira stopped and shared a knowing look with Shinn. The boy smirked and they kissed again, both sitting on top of Athrun; Kira's legs holding his arms down while Shinn's legs held Athrun's down.

"Curse you!" Athrun yelled and struggled. He ended up throwing them off and went after Shinn, pinning him again and biting his neck. Shinn screamed and clawed at his back. Kira gaped and watched them ravage each other until he pulled Athrun off and kissed him, leaving Shinn panting and gasping.

"Alright, alright. Before we accidentally have a threesome and then you two start freaking out we should stop." Athrun said bitterly. Kira and Shinn looked guilty, glanced at each other, then glanced at Athrun.

"What's with the animal noises, guys? Seriously!" Cagalli shouted and closed the door, locking it.

"Hey!" They yelled, scrambling to open the door. Since it was locked from the outside, they needed to get someone to open it from the outside. Stupid future doors (wink)!

"Well, I guess we're stuck in here together." Athrun said and grinned.

They all grin and Kira tackles Athrun. Shinn glomps Kira and they start the war all over again, laughing at themselves and each other.

Cagalli smiles from down the hall and high-fives Lacus who beams. Andy smiles also, pretending to not know what's going on. Murrue ignores the noises, just glad that they aren't screams of pain or anger. Glad that the war is finally over.

* * *

**-Author's Note: So I don't know whether to continue this or make some kind of sequel. This kind of feels like an ending, but I want to do a bit more, despite my slow updates. Guess what? YOU GET TO CHOOSE! That's right; if you want me to continue or make a sequel just let me know in your review! Please also tell me what you think; any suggestions, comments, or ideas are welcome! Even constructive criticism! Flames will be thrown back at you, as well as a bucket of water. Chill dude, chill.-**


	11. Chapter 11: Where Do We Go From Here?

**Chapter 11: Where Do We Go From Here?**

**Disclaimer:**** Me no owns (cries). If this chappy title reminds you of the musical episode of **_**Buffy the Vampire Slayer**_** (which I don't own) you rock!**

* * *

Slowly coming to consciousness, the haze cleared as memories of last night flooded his mind. He then remembered similar nights, only with two instead of three. Nameless strangers he'd slept with and never saw again. The clubs, the drinks, the hotels, the street corners. Even in a dark alleyway once. He always had a few condoms in his pocket, in case the urge, the _need_ overtook him. He went to the doctor's frequently for check-ups and so far was clean of any STD.

But no matter how many people he had sex with, it never really satisfied him. So he didn't know what this feeling was inside of him, like he was full but not bloated. Like he was actually satisfied this time.

And they didn't even have sex!

Athrun groaned and shifted under the covers, a bare leg brushing up against one of Shinn's. The boy smiled and brushed some blue hair out of his face.

Athrun opened his eyes and smiled back at Shinn, then glanced behind him at Kira's sleeping form.

"Morning. How you feeling?" Athrun asked groggily.

"Great." The boy replied while grinning.

Athrun chuckled. "And here I thought you'd start freaking out on me. So you're really okay? With all of this?" he asked.

Shinn hesitated, thinking about everything. When he saw Athrun he was happy, he felt safe, he felt loved. When he thought about Kira, it wasn't with hate or anger. He realized that he had finally come to terms with what happened. Kira was great to talk to; he was understanding, kind, and reasonable.

They were both attractive and didn't judge or condemn him. They listened and didn't treat him any different than normal. While this wasn't exactly what he had in mind for the perfect dating experience, he knew that walking away from this would hurt, and that he truly cared about both of them.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

Athrun leaned forward and Shinn closed the distance, blushing. As the kiss became passionate, Shinn lowered his hand to the waistband of Athrun's boxers.

A shifting sound interrupted them, and Shinn glanced at Kira and blushed more. He gave Athrun a sheepish look.

"I forgot he was in the bed with us." Shinn whispered.

"It doesn't matter, he'll sleep through anything." Athrun replied, sliding a hand down Shinn's chest with a sly look.

"Athrun…I feel weird having sex with someone else in the bed sleeping. What if he wakes up during…?"

Athrun pouted. "Well, are you sure you're ready? I remember Ray telling me about the one-night stands, I'm sorry for bringing it up yesterday, but I want you to be sure you're ready. It's okay if you wanna go slow." He said seriously.

"I'm ready." Shinn told him, looking into his eyes lustily.

Athrun let out a relieved sigh and pulled Shinn towards him, but the boy glanced at Kira.

"Let's wait." He suggested.

Athrun groaned. "Fine." He pouted. Shinn chuckled and kissed him again.

Kira popped an eye open, having heard their conversation. He turned towards them slowly, trying to be quiet. He sat up and crouched over Shinn as the two lovers continued their make-out session.

Kira pounced and started tickling Shinn, who squeaked and pulled up, kicking and swiping at him. Kira started laughing and stopped, while Shinn glared playfully.

"Ow! You bit me!" Athrun cried, rubbing his mouth.

"Well Kira attacked me. I was surprised. Sorry." Shinn replied.

Athrun turned a glare on Kira who shrugged sheepishly. "I couldn't help it, I had to ruin the moment." He explained.

"Jealous." Athrun smirked.

Kira stuck his tongue out at him and Athrun tackled him, tickling him. Shinn joined in as they recreated the festivities of the night before.

Suddenly, the door opened to reveal Cagalli. "You guys sound like a bunch of girls having a pillow fight. Is that what you've been doing all night?" she asked.

"Um, yeah." Athrun answered and grinned.

Cagalli raised an eyebrow. "Nice boxers."

Athrun looked confused and then looked down to see that they were wearing nothing but their underwear. He grinned back at her.

"You like?" he asked slyly, showing off. Shinn and Kira rolled their eyes and started gathering their clothes.

"Oh yes, very sexy." Cagalli replied sarcastically. "I just came to tell you that we'll be arriving in ORB in the afternoon and that breakfast is ready."

"Okay, thanks." He replied. Kira kept glancing at her oddly and Shinn was looking suspiciously between the two, remembering Kira's statement about them and an island.

"So uh, what really happened on that island?" he asked when Cagalli left.

Athrun shot a glare Kira's way who smirked back at him before answering. "Nothing, it was when we first met. We were technically enemies but we didn't feel the need to kill each other. She tried to take my gun and shot me…twice."

Shinn started laughing. "She shot you!? That's great!" he cried as he rolled around on the floor.

"It's not funny! She also got wet so she was wearing only her under garments." Athrun smirked.

Shinn stopped laughing and glared while Athrun looked smug. "Aha! I win." The bluenette exclaimed and grinned.

"Athrun, you're such a pervert. And a jerk." Kira finally spoke up.

"Hey! He started it!" Athrun said and pointed to Shinn who made to bite his finger.

Kira smiled and chuckled. "You're so funny, I love getting you all riled up." He said and ruffled his hair.

"Nyah! No touching the hair!" Athrun complained and tried to fix his messy locks.

Shinn snorted and trudged into the adjoining bathroom while Kira pulled up his pants. Athrun pulled his shirt over his head and reached for his pants as Kira also pulled on his shirt.

"So what do you think? I was right, wasn't I? A wildfire." Athrun purred into Kira's ear.

"Okay, okay. I really like him, although he is a bit off and on at times." Kira replied.

"That's because he's bipolar. He was diagnosed with it when he was younger. I haven't seen him take any medicine though."

"Are you serious? Geez! What else do you know about him?!" Kira exclaimed, looking incredulous.

"Well…you know how I told you about Shinn's friend trying to rape him?"

"Yeah. I still want to kill that guy." Kira replied with a hard look. Athrun didn't know whether to laugh or feel afraid, so he simply continued his explanation.

"Well, when Shinn was a kid, he was raped by a child molester. That's the reason he gets a bit edgy and doesn't like to be restrained. He freezes in terror." Athrun said softly, glancing at the bathroom door. He could hear the water from the running shower so assumed Shinn couldn't hear their conversation.

"Oh my…that does explain some things…but he had no problem almost having sex with us last night!" Kira said, looking confused.

"That's because once he reached puberty he figured he should find out how sex is really supposed to feel. That's what I meant when I was talking about the one-night stands. He had sex with people a lot, but no relationships. That's why he felt comfortable with you, I guess he trusts you." Athrun replied and looked away.

Kira took a minute for this information to settle. He couldn't believe the younger boy had gone through so much turmoil. He glanced at Athrun as something came to mind.

"But you don't think he trusts you." He stated, hearing the bitterness in Athrun's last words.

Athrun sighed and covered his face with his hands. "You're going to think I'm an even bigger jerk when I tell you this, but…I almost raped him too."

"WHAT!? ATHRUN!" Kira yelled and stood, looking at him with a ferocious gleam in his purple eyes.

"I know, I know. It was the night we all met at the beach. I started asking him why he was so edgy and acting so weird, we ended up getting into an argument and I just lost it. I pinned him against the wall and felt him freeze…the thing that stopped me was seeing him cry. Rayven told me the story afterwards, I felt like a total dickhead." Athrun explained and looked at Kira with a guilty, sorrow-filled expression.

"I can't believe you Athrun. How could you do that? Have you really gotten that bad?" Kira asked.

"Look, nothing really happened, I just kissed him. I didn't get far before I realized what I was doing. I regret it, but I still care a lot for him. I want him to trust me, but I'm okay if he doesn't just yet."

Kira continued to look at him with a disgusted expression. Athrun closed his eyes and sighed.

"Uh, what's up guys? Did I miss something?" Shinn asked as he came out of the bathroom.

Kira turned and Athrun looked up with a pained smile.

"Oh, it's nothing, we were just talking." Kira said and smiled at him.

Shinn nodded and smiled back awkwardly, glancing at Athrun.

"Well, I'm going to get breakfast, wanna come?" Kira asked.

"Uh, sure. You coming Athrun?" Shinn replied.

Kira and Athrun exchanged a look. "I'm gonna take a shower and join you guys later." He said.

Shinn frowned but followed Kira out of the room, noticing the looks they shared.

"What was that about?" the boy asked as they walked through the corridor.

"What do you mean?" Kira asked, feigning innocence.

"Those looks. Why did Athrun look…guilty?"

Kira glanced at him and decided not to hide anything from him. "We were just talking about you, and he told me about what happened when you were a kid, and what…he almost did. I got mad at him."

Shinn was silent for a moment and they continued walking. Kira wondered if he should have told him, since he had gone through so many surprises lately.

"Look, it's alright. I know he's a good guy and cares about me. I just hate feeling so weak." Shinn finally confessed. "I hate it when I freeze like that. I'm a trained ZAFT soldier and yet I can't even defend myself against something like that! I tried to stop Rey though, because he was going to shoot Athrun. Maybe I'm getting better."

"Well that's good at least. I understand how you feel, sometimes even though I try my hardest, people still end up dying. I couldn't stop Yzak from shooting that civilian shuttle, I couldn't save Fllay's father. But it's just something I have to live with. You have people that want to help and protect you, Shinn, so don't worry too much about freezing up. We won't let anyone hurt you." Kira told him with a smile.

"I know, I just don't like feeling dependent either. I know it sounds childish, but I don't like feeling vulnerable and having to depend on someone to protect me. That's why I joined ZAFT." Shinn replied.

"And that's okay. But you don't always have to look behind you for an enemy, Shinn; you can protect yourself and others while also being protected. Think of it as comradeship: while you were fighting you know your teammates had your back, it's the same with Athrun and I. You don't have to completely depend on us." Kira explained.

"That doesn't sound too bad. Thanks, Kira." Shinn said. They entered the cafeteria and saw Cagalli and Lacus sitting together. Kira got that awkward look again and Shinn eyed the pair warily as they got in line to pick up their breakfast tray.

"Are you okay with them being together?" Shinn asked Kira quietly.

"I guess so. It's just weird. I never imagined them together. I didn't even think they were lesbians!" Kira exclaimed.

"Well I'm sure they never imagined you or Athrun to be gay, especially not gay together." Shinn said.

"Actually, we were pretty close, and we told them about us pretty early in the game. But still! Cagalli and Lacus just came out of nowhere! I didn't see any signs or anything! Did you see any signs?!" Kira almost shrieked and Shinn had to calm him down as people started glancing at them.

"I wasn't around them that often so I can't really say, although it's still surprising. At least they're understanding." Shinn supplied, trying to comfort Kira.

"Mornin' bro!" Cagalli called and waved them over. Kira looked pale but put on a smile as they walked over to where they were sitting.

"Where's Athrun?" Lacus asked when they sat down.

"He's taking a shower. We were hungry so decided to come down without him." Kira told them.

"Oh, okay. So what are your plans once we reach ORB?" Cagalli asked, munching on her breakfast.

"I dunno." Kira said and scratched his head. The girls turned to Shinn who shrugged and sipped his drink. His cousin lived in PLANT, and he didn't feel like taking a shuttle all the way back there. But then again, ORB held a lot of painful memories.

"Hello! Earth to Shinn!" Cagalli said, waving a hand in front of the boy's face.

"Huh? What?" he asked.

"I was asking if you had any other family besides your parents and sister that you could stay with here in ORB." Cagalli asked. Lacus and Kira were looking cautiously at him, as if expecting him to attack.

"Um, I don't think so. My aunt is…dead, but I have a cousin in PLANT. She moved up there after my aunt passed." He told them.

"Oh, so were you planning on going up there?" Lacus asked.

"I don't know. I'm sure she'd love for me to stay with her; we're all we've got really." Shinn replied.

"Well, Athrun has a place here, and so do I. You're welcome to hang with us until you come up with what you want to do, since the war is over." Kira told him.

"Oh, okay. Thanks." Shinn replied.

"You're welcome." Kira said and smiled. Lacus and Cagalli smiled as well, and Shinn smiled briefly back. He wasn't used to so much friendship and smiling. He felt awkward hanging out with people who smiled that much with a war looming over them.

"Well, speak of the devil!" Cagalli said and waved to Athrun who was walking into the cafeteria.

A flash of the night Athrun lost control appeared before Shinn's eyes. He shook his head to forget about it. Nothing happened, everything was okay now.

"Hey, what's up?" Athrun asked as he sat down next to Shinn. They smiled and Athrun glanced to Kira who smiled back normally.

"We were just discussing our plans for the future. What were you going to do Athrun?" Lacus asked.

"I'm not sure. I haven't really thought about it." He replied.

"Sheesh! None of you boys know what you want to do!" Cagalli exclaimed.

"Well what are you going to do?" Athrun asked her.

"I have a country to run, thank you very much. And with Yuuna out of the way I can do it with less stress. I can give you guys jobs with the military if you want." She told them.

"Hm, that's a good idea. I'll think about it." Athrun said.

"Even though we technically belong with ZAFT?" Shinn asked.

"Sure. ORB is a neutral nation after all, we accept both. The only reason we sided with the Earth Alliance this go-round is because the Seirans are idiots and forced me to. I'm kinda new at this you know." Cagalli said.

"Really?" Shinn asked, looking surprised and curious. Cagalli began explaining the events near the beginning of the war that forced her to side with the EA as Lacus listened and Kira took his empty tray back. Athrun got up to follow him.

"Are you still mad at me?" he asked.

"No. I told Shinn about our conversation and he forgives you, so I figure I can too. I also told him that we'll protect each other. He doesn't like feeling weak and vulnerable, or being dependent on anyone. You might want to remember that." Kira said a bit harshly.

Athrun looked at him sorrowfully and Kira sighed. "Look, it just scares me that you would do that, even if nothing really happened. You've changed a lot Athrun. I'm worried about you."

"I realize that, and I'm sorry. I don't know what happened that night, but I do know it won't happen again. You can trust me, Kira, and so can Shinn." Athrun told him.

"That's good to know. But where do we go from here?" Kira asked.

"What do you mean?" Athrun asked in return.

"I mean are you and Shinn going to move in, are we all going to live together, is he going to live with his cousin while you two date long-distance, or what?"

"I'm not sure; we haven't really talked about it much. I told him we could take it slow, but he says he's ready to take a big step, so I'm unsure about moving in or anything." Athrun explained.

"Well since we're almost to ORB, maybe you two should get to talking. You're supposed to be boyfriends." Kira said with a smirk. Athrun smirked back and they walked back to the table.

Cagalli and Shinn were still talking politics and Lacus started talking to Kira about future plans. Athrun slid his hand in Shinn's and smiled at him, he blushed and smiled back.

Cagalli and Lacus shared a knowing look.

Along with Murrue and Andy.

And the rest of the cafeteria.

* * *

**-Author's Note: Mow! The dreaded school season is upon us!! I'll try to update as much as possible but I'll be really busy so please be patient! I wanted to at least get this out now so here ya go! Please tell me what you think!-**


	12. Chapter 12: The Only Place We Can

**Chapter 12: The Only Place We Can**

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownage of the Gundam Seed Destiny.**

_I must apologize deeply for this long absence. Hopefully this chapter will make up for the long-awaited rebuttal. And yes, juicy fluffy stuffs are in store since the war is over, and not just between the boys. I haven't done much lesbian action, since I myself am straight, but I figured I'd give it a try. Now I'm rambling. On to the fic!_

* * *

_Shinn was walking down an alley, alone in the dark. He caught a flash out of the corner of his eye and whirled around. Nothing. Just a shadow. He kept walking, uneasy. He felt so young and weak._

_Laughter stopped him in his tracks. He could never forget the sound of his voice, sending chills throughout his body, freezing him. A hand came around from behind him, brushing some hair out of his face. _

"_Look at you, all grown up." The voice murmured. Shinn couldn't breathe, his muscles trembled, trying to fight the motionlessness capturing him. "I have to admit that I could be content with you, looking the way you do. You're certainly no child anymore..."_

_The person behind the voice stepped around, and a high-pitched whimper escaped from between Shinn's tightly clenched lips. It was the child molester. That face, forever unchanged, always haunted his thoughts. He would never forget anything about this man. Not his touch, his scent, his voice, his appearance, the way his stare penetrated just as much as his—_

"_No, he's not." Another voice said. Shinn felt dizzy, still unable to move. This was another person he could never forget, one action that erased all other kindnesses. Rey came closer, giving Shinn that same look as the last time they were alone together. But they weren't alone now._

_Shinn's eyes darted between the two, connections forming. No. No. This couldn't be happening. No!_

_Rey stopped beside the molester. "He tempted me, with the way he looks. The same way he tempted you, I'm sure. But now it's different, he can feel it too." Rey whispered. The molester grinned._

"_F-feel what?" Shinn breathed, barely able to hear himself. His voice was so young, like a child's, but he was grown up now. A man._

_Rey moved closer, locking Shinn's eyes onto his, as he caressed his cheek. "You can feel what we feel; your body reacts to what we do to you. You like it, don't you? Come on, say it. Say you like it."_

_Shinn couldn't even shake his head. No, he didn't like it. Stop, please don't come any closer. Don't touch me…_

_As one they grabbed him. His shrieks pierced the night._

"_ATHRUN! ATHRUN! ATHRUN!" he kept screaming, his voice raw as they dragged him to the ground, pinning him down. "ATHRUN! ATHRUN! AAAAATHRUUUUNN!"_

"_Don't worry, Shinn, I'm here." His reassuring voice found him. He breathed a small sigh of relief, but he was still pinned down by two monsters. They moved and Shinn could see Athrun standing there, calmly walking closer._

"_About time you showed up! Come join the party. We'll hold him while you get to finish what you started." The child molester called._

"_I forgive you for attacking me back there, you were just jealous. But now we can work together, with no one to answer to." Rey replied._

_Athrun grinned at their words. His face was a twisted mask, leering down at Shinn._

"_Athrun?" his pleading, questioning voice said._

"_Shhh, I'm here now." Athrun whispered, crawling toward him. His voice was such a contrast to his eyes, Shinn couldn't battle the confusion._

_This couldn't be happening. No. Not now. Not again…_

"_ATHRUN!"_

"ATHRUN!" Shinn screamed, opening his eyes.

"It's just a dream, Shinn, it's alright." Athrun murmured next to him, holding him closely. The boy was gasping, his words inaudible, just a tangle of cries as he pressed his face to Athrun's chest. "Hush now, just calm down. Breathe." Athrun whispered. He got a strangled whimper in reply. Shinn's heart was pounding; he could almost hear it, like a renegade drumbeat.

His eyes were so wide with fear he could have gotten lost in them. He took Shinn's face in his hands and stared deep into the red, fearful orbs. "Look at me, just relax, everything will be okay." He said soothingly.

Shinn wrenched his face from Athrun's grasp, shaking his head back and forth. "No!"

"Shinn—,"

"NO!" he shrieked again, then fell into the fetal position. "Nooo." He moaned, rocking back and forth.

It was then Athrun realized he was featured in Shinn's nightmare. He closed his eyes, wanting to kill himself for what he did—almost did, would have done, and according to Shinn, still could do. He didn't know what to do in this situation. Go to him, try to comfort him? Keep his distance? Nothing?

"I'm sorry." He found himself saying. Something dripped onto his leg, and he realized he was crying. He wiped his face, staring at the liquid. Shinn was staring at him, face wet. He looked so young…

"Tell me what to do." Athrun told him. "I don't…I don't know what you want me to do right now…please, tell me how to make it better." He begged.

This seemed to appease Shinn, because he got up and launched himself at Athrun. They clung to each other so tightly they had to pull away before they cracked a rib. Athrun rubbed Shinn's back, touching foreheads and repeating the word "sorry" until it lost its meaning.

He could tell when Shinn was done crying and fearing for his life when frustration began building.

"Ugh! I hate this!" he yelled, stomping around the room and nearly ripping out his hair. Athrun let him vent. This he knew how to do.

It had been a month since the war, since they were all together, since Athrun sprung the threesome on him. Shinn, having nowhere else to go, decided to stay with Athrun, who was more than willing to oblige. They visited the others often, seeing Cagalli, Kira, and Lacus on a regular basis. They had all become good friends.

Shinn had nightmares every night for a week, after that it was only every other night for another week. Then Athrun would make a comment, or Shinn would remember his childhood, Rey would fall into their conversation, and it started all over again. Every morning he woke up crying, throat sore and close to rebelling, clutching Athrun. Every night he dreaded when the lights went off, tried to delay the inevitable as much as he could by goading Athrun into some fun time, demanding they watch another movie, or another episode, or play some game at midnight. But Athrun was a busy man and got tired at ten.

They hadn't heard much about Rey, only that he was dishonorably discharged from ZAFT, despite Durandal's efforts to keep him from severe punishment. Apparently Rey confessed to everything, was declared a danger to himself and society (although not everyone believed he was crazy in the first place), and kicked out. They tried to keep track of him, but he soon disappeared off the radar.

Shinn never told anyone, barely admitted it to himself, but Rey's betrayal hurt him deeply. As well as being one of the only good friends Shinn ever had, Rey was also someone he could confide in about his sexual past and current behavior. He felt comfortable with the other man, safe and content, he almost thought he loved him. But then Athrun came along with a whole new set of feelings. He didn't know how to break it off with Rey, so he did nothing, hoping it would just go away or resolve itself on its own.

So he blamed himself for everything that happened on the fateful night Rey was kicked out. He blamed himself for a lot, actually. He felt guilty about the child molester. Maybe he enticed him? There were so many close encounters because of his promiscuity, even though it was the opposite of what Shinn was trying to do. He was never raped again because he never said no. And he didn't say no a lot of times. So many times he couldn't count. Just to save himself the pain and embarrassment, anyone that came onto him was given what he or she wanted without question. His cousin thought it was because he needed to find out what sex was really about. Athrun believed her, and probably everyone else.

But that wasn't it at all. He did it so he wouldn't get hurt again. That's why when Rey kissed him that night, in the Academy, Shinn kissed him back. He lowered himself onto the bed with Rey's guidance, moaned and sighed when he was expected to, and let Rey touch him wherever and whenever he liked. After a while he stopped pretending, even making the first move. He found he didn't have to force himself to say yes, he _wanted_ to. He liked the way Rey made him feel, like he was being worshipped. He thought he was finally in a real relationship where two people cared about each other and had sex because they _both_ wanted to, enjoyed it with each other, and were expressing their feelings.

He couldn't think about that now. He shook his head, clawed at his hair to bring about pain, anything to get him off that path. He couldn't think about Rey. It only made the pain in his chest worse. But he couldn't stop the sounds he was making. They just wouldn't stay in. They betrayed him, like the rest of his body.

But somehow, Athrun found a cure. Wrapping his arms around him, not to restrain, but to protect, instantly calmed him. He sighed, closing his eyes, and leaned back against him. Turning, he buried his face in Athrun's neck, breathing in his scent to get out the others. There was still a bad taste in his mouth. Without thinking, or maybe because he was over thinking, he kissed Athrun.

Athrun was a bit surprised but willing to go with Shinn on this. He was desperate for something in the way his lips moved. When he started biting and scratching his way down Athrun's back, he had to push a bit to break the contact.

"Easy, Shinn." He said. The younger man blushed, but Athrun didn't want him to leave so he kept his arms wrapped around him, resting his head on his shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"What is there to say?" Shinn replied in a destitute tone, eyes blank.

Athrun shrugged. "You can yell at me or something about it. I'm sure I did something to you. Your voice changed when you were yelling my name. I tried to wake you up, to calm you down, but I think it just made things worse." He said.

"Were you talking to me? What did you say?" Shinn asked.

"_Don't worry, Shinn, I'm here. Shhh, I'm here now." _

Shinn gasped and jolted backward. Athrun seemed confused, then his face showed recognition. "So you heard me…"

"In my defense, you were saying it in a completely different context." Shinn replied.

Athrun's eyebrows came forward. "In…what context?"

"I don't…I mean I can't…talking about it makes me…" Shinn stammered, trying to get out the words. "I can't believe this. I can't even talk about it. I'm so weak!" he shouted, punching the wall. "OW!"

Athrun grabbed the bruised hand with his own. "It's alright if you can't or don't want to." He said reassuringly.

"No it's not." Shinn growled. He looked Athrun in the eye and took a deep breath. "I was w-walking down an alleyway," he began, voice becoming steady.

"Shinn you don't—,"

"Shut up! I was alone and it was at night, I was walking and then I heard a voice. _His_ voice, the first guy that…the ch-hild molest…molest…er." he took another deep breath. "And I froze, like I always do. He came around, talking about how much I've grown…like…like even though he fiddled with children he would still…was still attracted to me."

"You don't have to say any more Shinn."

"I said shut up! Let me finish!" Shinn yelled. He looked so angry that Athrun threw up his hands in surrender and let him continue. "Then Rey showed up." His throat closed and he had to swallow a few times for it to open again. "He said I tempted him. With the way I looked. He said now I can feel what they felt, that I…liked it."

Athrun was silent, not even breathing. Shinn never told him anything like this. "But you don't." he blurted.

"I do." Shinn replied.

Athrun paused, his mouth open. "W-what?"

"They're right! I…It's because of the way I look, that's why! Everyone wants to get in my pants so I just let them! If I don't let them they take it from me!" he burst, then a new wave of fear overcame his features. "Athrun…I…"

"Didn't mean to say that out loud? Didn't mean to tell me?" Athrun completed the sentence.

"Please don't get mad." Shinn said, his voice small and high-pitched again. He took a step back.

"Shinn, no, I'm not mad. But you're wrong. It has nothing to do with you." Athrun answered. Shinn was shaking his head.

Before Athrun could protest any further Shinn kept going. "So they pushed me down and held me there. That's when I started screaming your name. And then you came. You…were there. But you weren't there to help me." The accusation in his voice brought pain to Athrun.

"You know I would never…"

"But you did once." Shinn whispered.

"I thought…I thought we were over that." Athrun asked.

Shinn shrugged meekly. "I guess not."

Athrun sighed, running a hand through his hair. Shinn wouldn't approach him. It took a few weeks for Athrun to notice that whenever they were close to a fight, Shinn just gave in and tried to appease Athrun before he got mad. He would just stop, mid-sentence, when he saw the anger building. Like he was afraid of what would happen. Like he was afraid of Athrun.

"How many times and ways do I have to apologize to you? Were all those times you told me you forgave me just lies? I can't always hold back my temper, I can't always do the right thing. Sometimes I'm just not a nice person. But you can't keep flinching every time I raise my voice!"

Despite his words, Shinn still flinched and took another step back. "I don't like it when we argue. It's pointless." He mumbled as an excuse.

"You were never like that before."

"You're stronger than me. If we got in a fight you would win." Shinn blurted as a distraction.

"Since when? Why are you saying that?"

"Because it's true."

"Just admit the truth, Shinn."

"What truth? I told you…"

"This isn't getting us anywhere. If you can't move on you'll keep having these nightmares."

Athrun's words cut him to the bone and he had nothing to say in reply. He stood silent, rubbing his bruised hand.

"Say it." Athrun said harshly. It was making Shinn uneasy. He took another step back. Athrun moved forward. Shinn paused. He never moved forward. He always kept his distance.

No…no…no…

"Shinn." His voice was gentler now. "I'm not trying to scare you, but I have to admit I'm frustrated with you right now. Just be honest with yourself and tell me why you keeping stepping back and acting like this isn't happening."

"It's not happening…" Shinn choked.

"It is, and you have to deal with it."

Shinn shook his head. Athrun took another step forward.

"Doooon't." he moaned, taking another step. The wall was close. He didn't like being backed up into a wall. He felt trapped.

Athrun didn't move, but was looking at Shinn intently. "You're acting like a child."

Shinn whimpered.

"I thought it was irritating you how much it affects you. I thought you wanted it to stop."

"Stoooop."

"I'm just trying to help you."

"You're not helping." He replied childishly.

"See? Come on, the sooner you get over it, the sooner those nightmares will disappear."

But Shinn didn't want to face it. He glanced around for an escape, his legs twitching, his arms moving around like he was restless. Athrun took a stance that would deny access anywhere else. He was now, unfortunately, trapped. A frustrated, fearful cry came out of Shinn's mouth. It was a warning. Back down now. Impending doom alert. Mayday mayday! Self-destruction in three…two…one…

"Alright!" he shouted, because he couldn't take it anymore. He exploded. "I'm afraid of you okay? I'm afraid because I know what you're capable of, I know what I dream about can become a reality, I know you've lost control once and you can do it again and it SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME!" he yelled.

Athrun felt horrible for making Shinn go through this, but it was a necessary evil. He relaxed his stance. "There, that wasn't so bad."

"Stop it!" Shinn shouted again.

"What?"

"Stop being so nonchalant! You know how I feel! You KNOW! I know you know, you know I know you know, so just stop…I hate that you can be happy when I'm not! I hate that this doesn't affect you!"

"But it does!" Athrun said, rushing forward. "Just because it didn't happen to me doesn't mean I can't understand. What hurts you hurts me. What I did was something I'll regret for the rest of my life. You keep guilt tripping me about it, how could I ever forget? Have you really stopped to think about how I feel? I hear your screams, and I know I could be the reason. I see your face, I hear your words, and I know I'm the cause. I'm the reason you can't get over it! I get it!" he yelled back.

Shinn was looking up at him with those wide, fearful eyes. Athrun realized he was clutching the boy tightly, that he had been yelling. That he lost control. He stepped back, then said "Fuck it." and embraced Shinn.

"Hug me back you brat." He growled. Shinn slowly hugged him back. They remained that way for an indeterminate amount of time. Possibly forever, but who's counting?

"That…was the strangest thing I've ever encountered." Kira announced, startling them. They forgot he had slept over. In fact, they were all in the same room. He was still in bed, looking thoroughly derailed.

"Sorry." The two muttered.

"Does this happen every morning? No wonder you're both grumpy by lunch time." Kira said.

"I don't know where that came from." Athrun stated.

"I don't know what to think at this point." Shinn added.

"Awkward." Kira agreed.

After some coughing and scrambling they separated. Shinn went to take a scalding hot shower, Athrun and Kira went downstairs to eat breakfast.

"Sorry you had to see and hear all that. I honestly forgot you were there." Athrun told him.

"I'm sorry you have to _live_ that." Kira replied.

"I think I've scarred him for life. My mission is complete." Athrun said sarcastically.

"Maybe not. You may have gotten through to him." Kira said. The look he received was far from pleasant. "Or not. Yep, you totally mortified him. Congrats."

"Kira…"

"I'm trying to take this seriously, really, but you're both such drama queens. Relax, he's fine. In fact, he might just attack you for good measure. That would be fun to watch." Kira joked.

"Kira…I'm going to kill you." Athrun growled, but had to smile at his friend.

"Nope, can't let you do that. Then I wouldn't get to see Shinn kick your ass." Kira replied.

"You're hopeless." Athrun groaned.

"I'm comic relief." Kira stated. "Come on, you know I help break the tension between you two. Come on, just admit it. Say it, Athrun, say it!" he mocked.

Athrun took a swipe at Kira who ducked, laughing. By now, this was their normal routine. It was sick, it was horrible, but it was nice to have something to depend on. Not everything was happiness and sunshine, butterflies and unicorns. It was more a cemetery full of old, unfulfilled dreams and zombie ex-lovers. Kira was undoubtedly the Undertaker. He did it well, too.

"So can we forget that ever happened?" Shinn said as he came down, still running a towel through his hair.

"Definitely." Athrun replied quickly.

"Great." Shinn said right after and sat down to eat.

Kira stared at the two of them. "Really? You know you're just going to do it again tomorrow."

"I look forward to it." Shinn snorted. Athrun laid an arm around him, running a thumb up and down his spine.

"You're both ridiculous." Kira said, rolling his eyes.

* * *

There came a time when Shinn found himself alone. Athrun was working with Cagalli as an official of ORB, along with Kira. Shinn declined the opportunity to join their team. Politics was never his thing. He was a soldier, not a smooth talker. He made the messes that people like them had to clean up. He was allergic to Pine-Sol.

Okay, perhaps an overstatement, but he _really_ didn't like cleaning. It was so much easier to destroy something and have someone else fix it back up. All shiny and brand new. Like it never happened. He wished someone could do that with his life.

As he walked down the sidewalk, probably on his way to pick up some groceries because he'd exhausted all of the means of entertainment at the house, he was staring down at his shoes and kicking at stray litter.

So of course he never noticed the long blond hair walking toward him. Of course he was trying desperately to get long blond hair out of his mind at the moment, and he definitely wasn't failing miserably at trying not to relive every single moment of their time together. Nope, Rey za Burrell was certainly not on his list of "Ironic Moments of the Year". But that didn't mean it would never happen.

He bumped into something, someone, who cares, and glanced up quickly to mumble a pitiful "sorry" when he noticed who it was. He stopped. He blinked. He opened his mouth and nothing came out. He shook his head. The person was still there, looking at him.

"Hello, Shinn." Rey greeted. He didn't look menacing, really; in fact he appeared a bit nervous. Guilty. Sorry.

"H…wha?" Shinn replied.

"I honestly didn't expect to see you here. I didn't know…I can leave if you want." Rey said.

Shinn still didn't get it. Why was Rey here? What was happening, or about to happen? Was this really going on right now? Seriously, fate? You can't go one day without screwing with someone? Why? Just why?

"Shinn?" Rey asked, concerned.

"Um…how…I…what?" he said, disbelief still in his face and tone.

"I was discharged from the military…came here to kind of stay out of the way. I didn't think you'd ever turn up here. I swear I'm not stalking you or anything like that, I honestly had no idea." Rey was saying.

"Oh." Shinn managed. Rey was measuring his expression, but Shinn was still too confused to decide how he felt about the sudden appearance.

"Sooo…should I go?" Rey asked.

"Why would you go?" Shinn asked.

"Well, if you think I'm going to hurt you…" Rey said.

"Oh. What? No, I mean…are you? I mean…fuck this is just…perfect." Shinn said, rubbing his head and pacing.

"I'm not. I promise." Rey took a step forward. "Although…I mean, I really…I'm glad we met."

Shinn paused. Rey was getting closer. This seemed familiar. He brushed some hair out of Shinn's eyes and smiled. He felt relaxed. He leaned forward. His breathing increased as Rey slid his lips over Shinn's cheek, down his neck. His eyes fluttered closed. He felt his back pressed against a wall but didn't panic. No, this felt good, it felt right. Rey kissed him, and after a moment Shinn kissed him back. He moved his hands to run them through Rey's hair, digging into his scalp. He moaned.

"I missed you." The words escaped before he knew what they were, what they meant. But it was true, there was no need to deny it.

Rey smiled at him. "I missed you too." Soon they were kissing again, and walking, and going through a door, and falling on a bed.

Soon they were panting and sweating, rolling around between the sheets, eyes closed and lips parted. Shinn felt alive, his skin tingled and made him moan.

Soon they were lying on their sides, staring into each other's eyes.

"Did I hurt you?" Rey asked, caressing Shinn's cheek.

"No." Shinn breathed, still trying to catch his breath.

"Are you sure?" Rey asked again, concern in his eyes.

"Yes." Shinn whispered.

"Will you kiss me again?" Rey said.

Instead of replying, Shinn simply leaned in, giving his answer with his lips.

When they parted Rey asked, in a soft tone, "Do you forgive me?"

"Yes."

This time Rey leaned forward, closing the small distance between them.

"Come with me." He said when they leaned back again.

Shinn hesitated. The full weight of what he just did suddenly decided to hit him in that moment.

"Shit." He breathed, looking around. Where was he? What did…what just happened? "Shit!" he exclaimed and began searching for his clothes.

"Shinn? What's wrong?" Rey asked, sitting up and watching him.

"What's wrong? What do you mean what's wrong? Everything is wrong! I can't believe I just…I mean how could I let that happen! What the fuck!" he exclaimed again, beginning to hyperventilate.

"Shinn, relax, calm down. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean…I didn't expect you to…" Rey tried to reassure him, holding out his arms but afraid to touch Shinn.

"Athrun's gonna kill me. Athrun…Athrun, shit, oh Athrun!" Shinn cried, falling to his knees and pressing his face to his hands. He wailed.

"Shinn…" Rey sunk to the ground in front of him, arms still out. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I should've left you alone. Please forgive me?"

"It's not your fault." Shinn replied. "It's mine. I can't help myself. I just…" he looked up at Rey. "What you did…how could you do that?"

Rey knew what he was referring to. "I didn't want you to fall into his hands. I loved you, I still love you, and I didn't want Athrun to steal you away from me. I'm sorry, it was selfish and it hurt you. I regret it." He answered.

Shinn couldn't comprehend what was being said for a moment. It sounded like the exact words Athrun had used earlier.

"This is so messed up. How did it get like this?" he asked himself.

Knowing Shinn was about to have a meltdown, Rey decided to go for it. He held Shinn tightly, like he used to do when Shinn was distressed or had nightmares. Shinn realized that Athrun was just his replacement. It made his predicament even worse.

"What have I done?"

* * *

Walking back home, he thought about what he would say to Athrun. He knew he had to say something. He knew they couldn't keep going in circles. He would lose his mind, if he hadn't already. But what would Athrun do? Finally break? Would he really finish what he started?

As much as it frightened Shinn, he knew he had to get this off his chest, if only for someone to talk to about what his life had become. Maybe Athrun would know what to do, when he was done punishing Shinn. Or maybe he would lock him up for his own good.

He almost backed down. He was pacing in front of the front gate, driving the guards nuts. He finally rushed through before they could make the decision for him. Walking up the steps, knowing Athrun was inside, knowing what he had to do and what may come of it, he gulped, hesitating again.

"Oh Shinn, just get over it." He told himself and opened the door.

Athrun and Kira were making out on the couch. For some reason, this made him feel better. He could fess up to cheating if Athrun was doing the same thing. Even though they were technically in a threesome.

* * *

**-Author's Note: So I didn't expect that explosion of emotion, but I guess it needed to happen. This took a dark turn really fast, sheesh. Hopefully I can get this party train on the move in the next chapter, get through the cheating proclamation, and bring this to a lighter tone. Let me know what you guys think. I didn't get to include Lacus and Cagalli in this, so hopefully next chapter you'll see something from them. Til then! Peace-**


	13. Chapter 13: Titanium

**Chapter 13: Titanium**

**Disclaimer: Because I didn't have a better title to what you're about to read and the song is stuck in my head, I do not own the song "Titanium" and I also do not own GS/D.**

**Warning: I changed the rating to Mature because…the last couple of chapters have been pretty mature, and that's the road being taken at the moment. So, beware of sexual themes and violence. And cussing. If any of this disturbs you…I'm not sure how you've come this far…**

_I owe this update to Kiki's __Silver and Gold__ fic._

* * *

There was a moment where Shinn stared at Athrun, who stared at him, while Kira looked from one to the other.

"Awkward." He sang.

"Shinn? Um…this isn't…actually, it is what it looks like and probably exactly what you're thinking. But I can explain—," Athrun began.

"It's okay, I cheated on you too." Shinn blurted. Nice, way to be smooth.

Athrun looked like Shinn just spoke a different language, yet he could tell it was an insult. Kira's face was frozen in shock.

"I'll leave." He said quickly and got up, grabbing his coat and rushing out of the door.

Shinn wished he would have stayed, just to keep saying "awkward" in that funny voice. He needed a barrier. He needed a security blanket. Why did Kira have to leave?

"You…what?" Athrun asked, finally grasping at what Shinn said. He wasn't angry yet, just confused.

Shinn took a deep breath. "I ran into Rey today. We had sex. I'll get the rope if you'll kick the chair out from underneath me." He said rapidly. He knew he was about to lose his nerve, and smoothing his way into it would take too long. This way Athrun had to pause and register his thoughts before reacting, giving Shinn plenty of time to—

"WHAT?" Athrun yelled, suddenly rounding the couch in the blink of an eye. His eyes were in SEED mode. This wasn't good.

"Oh fuck you're fast." Shinn breathed, barely taking a step back before he was caught.

"Rey? Are you fucking kidding me? The guy you had a nightmare about _this morning_?! You run into him and say 'Hey, let's fuck so I can give Athrun a heart attack later'?" he burst.

"I think my ears are bleeding." Shinn whined. He didn't know where this bravado was coming from. Maybe it was the confidence of a dead man. He braced himself.

"I can't believe this!"

"Well, you _were_ just macking on Kira…"

"Kira's different! He didn't try to rape me!" Athrun yelled.

That word put a halt to Shinn's thoughts. What had he done, telling Athrun? How stupid could he be? Now he was in for it. Athrun was going to lose control.

"I won't say no!" he burst before Athrun could say or do anything else.

"What?" Athrun asked, taken aback.

"I'll have sex with you. I won't fight or scream or anything. Just don't hurt me." His voice cracked and he tried to hold onto himself.

"Shinn…" Athrun's anger vanished. He let go.

Despite living together for a month, they had never actually done the deed. Fooled around? Yes. A lot of yes. But actually put the key in the keyhole? Nope. Nada. Nein. Athrun was too careful; he didn't want to spook Shinn, despite his pronouncement of being ready. Plus Athrun was always too tired by the time he got home. He wanted their first time together to be special.

This was not what he would consider special, by any means.

After a moment he realized Shinn was in that state people usually call shock. He was white, sweating, eyes large and pupils dilated, shaking and looking like he was about to—

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

–scream. He crumpled to the floor, hyperventilating. Athrun cussed and grabbed him, practically dragging him to the couch. Shinn grew frantic, thinking he was actually taking him up on the sex offer. He kept screaming, like an annoying fire alarm, so Athrun had to clamp a hand over his mouth. Then he started struggling, so he had to sit on him.

"Shinn will you just…dammit quit moving! I'm not—Shinn!—will you just listen to me for a sec? Oh fucking hell!" he exclaimed, trying to think of a way for this not to happen. Shinn was unreachable. Athrun knew the guards, the maids, fuck the neighborhood could hear Shinn's scream and probably assumed the worst. This was exactly what he _didn't_ want to happen.

After a while Shinn exhausted himself, reduced to whimpering and sobs. Athrun lifted his hand timidly just for Shinn to begin shrieking again. He clamped it back down and sighed, closing his eyes and trying to breathe normally. Shinn's body was shuddering beneath him, like an earthquake, and Athrun became increasingly aware of it. Everything about this was wrong, so very wrong. He didn't want to start thinking of how they came to this, or else…he might just go through with it.

He was not in that calm place where anger could easily be swept away. He just wasn't. He couldn't be rational or practical at the moment, logic was at the bottom of the list of things he should be doing right now. Shinn was, unfortunately, at the top. He kept focusing on his breathing, but his mind kept going to the man trapped beneath him.

In movies, this situation would be resolved with a separation. Someone would get his wits back, think of a way to calm everyone else down, and things would be all hunky dory. But this wasn't a movie.

In books, they would both be taken up by wild passion, consumed by lust and the need for human companionship. Shinn would magically be welcoming to Athrun thrusting into him instead of quivering in fear. But again, this wasn't a book. (1)

This was life.

"Breathe Athrun, just breathe. Don't think about it, don't think about anything. Nope. Don't even think about it. Don't even think about Shinn, or _him_ or anything! Nuh uh. Not gonna think about it…" he began chanting. Then he let out an exasperated groan. "Shit, I can't stop thinking about it! Get it together Athrun!"

Suddenly he realized the body underneath him was still, and all he could hear was his ragged breathing. He opened his eyes, forgetting he closed them, and looked down at Shinn. He was passed out. Athrun had to double-check to make sure he didn't accidentally choke the poor man. Sighing in relief, he slowly got off and began pacing. He cast looks at Shinn's body strewn across the couch and then began rearranging limbs. It didn't help matters. In fact, it made things worse.

Athrun went to the other side of the room and paced again, trying not to look. He had broken down with Kira earlier because it had been so long since he'd seen any real action. Finally he was able to focus on something that shut out any lustful desires.

"I have to kill Rey."

* * *

Kira felt bad about leaving so fast, but he didn't want to get caught up in the action. When he saw Shinn, he thought they would repeat Freedom versus Destiny (2). He lit out quick, instinctually sensing Athrun's anger. The bluenette didn't realize how scary he got when he was angry. Shinn wasn't the only one who flinched when he lost his temper, probably because it so rarely happened that everyone knew a bomb was about to drop.

Hearing the screams coming out of the mansion made Kira realize that a bomb did indeed drop. He contemplated going back, reasoning with them both so they didn't kill or maim each other, but for some reason he wanted them to work out their problems without his help. On the other hand, he thought it his duty, as the third in their threesome party, to mediate. Then again, it was none of his business. But they could seriously hurt each other, or scar each other for life. This was his line of thinking as he first walked toward his car, then back towards the gate. The guards seemed to also be contemplating interrupting the situation. They were bound to protect those residing inside, but it seemed different when they had to protect them from each other.

Was domestic violence in their contract?

"I know, I'll go to the girls, they might be able to salvage this!" he said and hurried to his car, speeding off into the night. He went the wrong direction. Squealing his tires to a stop and then almost flipping the car as he turned, he took off again.

He was banging on their door so loud the house was in panic. A maid opened the door worriedly, and upon seeing his face, jumped back and gasped. He burst through, running around the house and causing a stir among the staff.

"Master Kira, please don't—," a maid began as he approached the bedroom.

Too late. Kira charged in, mouth open to explain the situation, when his throat got stuck. His face paled. He stood there staring at the scene before him, his brain overloaded.

What…the…

"FUCK!" he yelled and ran back out, causing another stir as the maids begged him to tell them what was going on, and why he was running around screaming his head off.

"Well…if he had doubts before…" Cagalli began.

"…he doesn't now." Lacus finished, throwing her dress back on as Cagalli sat up from the bed, also looking for suitable clothing.

"I wonder why he was here in the first place." She murmured as she shimmied into her shirt.

"Yeah, he looked like he wanted to tell us something." Lacus replied, stepping into her underwear.

"Let's find out." Cagalli said after she got her pants on and went toward the door.

"But he took off running…" Lacus said, joining her.

They heard a scream in the distance and the squeaking of shoes on the tile floor below. "I'm sure we can just follow the noises." Cagalli said and shrugged.

Sure enough, they followed the screams and broken vases, along with the pointing fingers of maids, to find Kira huddled in a broom closet.

"Why are you in here?" Cagalli asked.

"I couldn't remember where the door was." He whimpered.

Cagalli rolled her eyes but Lacus seemed sympathetic. She helped him up and dusted him off. "Are you alright" she asked.

"No." he replied, not looking at either of them.

"Oh get over it! Besides, why are you here in the first place? You should know better than to barge into other people's homes!" Cagalli said. Lacus pinched her, giving her a reproachful look.

"I, uh…well…I forgot." He said, blinking confusedly.

Cagalli sighed. Lacus guided him to the kitchen table. "What was the last thing you remember?" she asked softly.

"You pinning Cagalli to the bed…"

"No, before that."

"Uhh…driving…?"

"And before that?"

"…"

"Hey! Think baby bro!" Cagalli said, snapping her fingers in front of his face.

He shook his head, blinking again. Lacus put her hands on her hips, glaring at Cagalli. "What?" she mumbled.

"Oh! I remember! Shinn and Athrun were about to fight!" he exclaimed, jumping up. "We have to stop them!"

"What?"

"Wait, hold on Kira—,"

"There's no time! Hurry! They'll kill each other or traumatize each other or something!" he yelled, dragging them toward the door.

"Woah, Kira, slow down! What happened?" Cagalli asked, pulling back on his hold.

"Well, uh, I went back to Athrun's place with him and we…well, then we started making out—,"

"Kira!" Lacus exclaimed.

"And then Shinn came home—,"

"Uh oh, he didn't attack you did he?" Cagalli asked.

"No he just kinda stood there, then Athrun tried to explain and he just blurted out 'I cheated on you' and that's all I heard." Kira finished quickly, then gasped for air.

"What do you mean that's all you heard?" Lacus asked.

"I left." Kira replied.

"You what?" Cagalli shouted. "Why?"

"I didn't want to be in the middle of it…but we have to go back, maybe we can stop them from—," Kira began.

"From what? It's just a lover's spat." Cagalli replied, waving a hand to dismiss the subject.

"No, you don't understand, Athrun might ra—," Kira abruptly stopped talking, slapping a hand over his mouth.

The girls paused, looking at him seriously. "Athrun might what? Kira, Athrun might _what_?" Cagalli asked in a quiet tone.

Lacus put a hand to her mouth, her face drained. Kira glanced at each of them. "They just…they might hurt each other." He squeaked, looking desperate.

Lacus turned to Cagalli. "You don't think?"

"No, he wouldn't."

"But if Shinn cheated?"

"Technically Athrun was cheating too."

"But still…Kira's right, we should go."

"It's none of our business. We shouldn't get involved."

"Cagalli, _please_! I ran away like a coward, but I was hoping you two would come back with me to calm the situation. Of course, if you'd rather stay here and continue your sexcapades while Athrun and Shinn brutally murder each other—,"

"Okay Kira you've made your point!" Cagalli exclaimed before he could finish his sentence. "Let's go!" she said and marched out of the door, dragging Kira behind her with Lacus following.

"Oh dear…"

* * *

When they arrived, the door was still slightly ajar from when Kira left. Slowly pushing in to open it further, they expected to see blood and gore. They expected to see someone dead, or both. Actually, that was an exaggeration. They just expected a lot of broken furniture.

What they didn't expect was to see Athrun kneeling on the couch. As he looked up, Kira recognized the SEED in his eyes and paused. Cagalli, however, peeked around him.

"Athrun?"

Lacus also peered over Kira's shoulder. They all looked worried and wary, as if he were a caged beast.

"Don't." he said as Kira took a step forward. The coordinator hesitated, but decided to take the risk. He took another step. "Kira." The warning not in Athrun's voice should have been enough.

Kira ran forward, leaning over the couch. Cagalli and Lacus followed, though not as quickly.

"He just fainted. I didn't…"

Kira met his eyes, but they didn't change. "Girls, please take Shinn to the hospital." He said in a calm voice, still locking eyes with his best friend and lover.

They moved around the couch to Shinn. Athrun stiffened, not moving away, until meeting Kira's eyes again and slowly stepping back. They grabbed Shinn and carried him out of the door, to the car, and drove off. Silence reigned.

"I shouldn't have left like that. I should've stayed." Kira said.

"There's no time for regrets, Kira." Athrun said. He grabbed his keys from the side table and strode past him.

"Where are you going?" Kira asked, seizing Athrun's arm.

"To find and kill Rey. Care to join me?" he replied casually.

"Rey?"

"That's who Shinn cheated with. Or at least that's what he says. I'm not inclined to believe him. Rey found him, raped him, and made him lie to me. We have to stop him."

"Athrun…"

"Do you want to come or not?" Athrun hissed, turning and glaring at him. Still in SEED mode.

Kira gulped but had no choice but to nod, following the other man to his car. He finally understood the difference between driving crazy and being in the passenger seat while driving crazy.

* * *

Shinn woke up to the smell of sterilization. This was it. It actually happened. He could hear the heart monitor increase in tempo, his throat was sore and dry, so every swallow felt like a log was bring shoved down his lungs, splinters being rubbed into the inner parts. The room he was in was bright, too bright, but it got better. He didn't know what he would see when he opened his eyes. He couldn't remember anything actually happening.

Wait, no. He remembered pleading with Athrun, breaking down, being dragged to the couch, Athrun sitting on him and covering his mouth, muttering to himself. But it was all in a haze, dim and far away. He let himself become aware of his body, trying to feel the familiar pain. But there was none. He frowned in confusion, then his eyes fluttered open.

Cagalli and Lacus were staring down at him, concern painted on their faces. He glanced between the two, then searched for a third member. No Kira. No Athrun.

"How are you feeling?" Lacus whispered tentatively.

He couldn't speak, it hurt too much. Their gazes drifted to the heart monitor again.

"It's okay, you don't have to talk. You're safe here." Cagalli said in a soft tone.

He looked into her eyes, searching. She turned to Lacus, who met her stare.

"He needs to know." Lacus whispered again. Cagalli nodded. They turned back to him. He swallowed.

"Kira came to us and convinced us to go back to the house with him. He said you and Athrun had got into a fight, or were about to fight, because of…cheating. When we got there…" Cagalli began, then turned back to Lacus.

The heart monitor spiked.

"Athrun said you fainted, he said he didn't hurt you. Kira stayed while we took you here." Lacus replied. "Do you…remember?"

Shinn shook his head, feeling slightly relieved.

"There's more…" Lacus began.

"Athrun was still in SEED mode, he and Kira went to find Rey. Shinn, please, tell us the truth. Did he hurt you? Rey, did he hurt you?" Cagalli asked earnestly.

He opened his mouth, coughed, and told the truth.

"No." he croaked.

They leaned back, surprised. "Then…why?"

He shook his head again, shame coloring his cheeks. He didn't want to say it was because he was a coward, because he was weak, because he was stupid and afraid of what would have happened. Tears clouded his vision.

"Ladies, you'll have to leave now. His body has been through a lot of stress lately and he needs to rest. Please." The doctor said, motioning for the door.

Cagalli wanted to protest, but Lacus tugged on her arm and they left, waving to Shinn. The doctor turned back to him, a chart in his hand.

"You were brought in due to a faint attack, they said. Is this true?" he asked.

Shinn nodded.

"Can you explain the circumstances leading to your faint? When did you become dizzy?" he asked again.

Shinn shook his head. He couldn't, wouldn't, didn't want to.

"I know your throat may hurt a bit, we noticed some bruising when we did the exam, but try to tell me what happened."

Shinn continued to shake his head. The doctor looked plaintive.

"Look, we can't help if we don't know what happened. Were you in trauma? We noticed…we did a rape kit."

Shinn's heart monitor spiked again, beeping erratically. The doctor looked up sharply and went around to him.

"It's alright, the trouble is over, you're _safe_ here."

Shinn's eyes darted around the room, catching the window at the door. An elderly man was slowly walking past, clutching an IV stand as he shuffled by. He turned his head slightly at the noise, then stared into the room.

The heart monitor screeched. The doctor called in nurses and inserted a needle into his IV drip.

Before Shinn went under again, he saw the old man smile, grinning from ear to ear. He could never forget that smile.

* * *

**-Author's Note: If you were thinking "THIS IS SPARTA!" at (1)…you get a cookie. Or if you were thinking "THIS IS A FANFIC!"**

**(2) Just realized the implications of this…Freedom versus Destiny…get it? I feel slow because I just now saw that connection…**

**Anyway, still a bit dark, but with slightly more humor. I have no real plot so I'm just goin with the flow, since it worked so well with some of my other fics (sarcasm). Well, at least I've got the next chapter plotted out, or at least the main scene. Let me know what you think, what you'd like to see, any questions, ideas, etc. are welcome. Peace!-**


	14. Chapter 14: Back and Forth

**Chapter 14: Back and Forth**

**Disclaimer: I just don't own.**

**Warning: As with last chapter…shit gets real. Just sayin'.**

_Again, sorry for the long wait! I really wish I would've started this chapter as I was thinking of what to do, because even though I wrote it down I can't really remember, so…let's see how it goes XD. Also, I was again inspired by Kiki's __Silver and Gold__ fanfic. It rocks, you should read it. I love me some AthrunxShinn action. So…here it is!_

* * *

_Before Shinn went under again, he saw the old man smile, grinning from ear to ear. He could never forget that smile._

"I hope he's okay." Lacus whispered. She was sitting next to Cagalli in the waiting room after being ushered out of Shinn's room. They didn't want to leave Shinn alone—and they also wanted to act as a barrier if Athrun showed up.

"I'm not sure Lacus." Cagalli murmured. "He said Rey didn't hurt him. But it doesn't make sense. Why would he…_do_ something like that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Lacus, Shinn slept with Rey. Willingly. Then he came home to tell Athrun. Is the kid suicidal? What did he expect to occur?"

"I don't know. Maybe…maybe there's more to it than that. I don't think Shinn went looking for Rey, I don't think he did this to spite Athrun."

"But why though? Why else would he do that? He knew Athrun would be pissed. Judging by the argument Kira was telling us about this morning, Athrun seems to be running on a short fuse. Shinn had to know something would happen."

Lacus sighed, closing her eyes and leaning her head back. She didn't pretend to understand what was going through Shinn's mind, or even Athrun's. She had a hard enough time sifting through Kira's logic—that was a bird's nest of its own—let alone try to delve into the others' heads. She knew where Cagalli was going and could see where she would get the idea from, but for some reason she just didn't believe it.

"Cagalli, I don't think Shinn had any intention of this happening." She finally confessed.

"So you don't think he was trying to get Athrun to blow his shit?" Cagalli asked.

"Why would he want that?"

"Suicidal?"

"Shinn isn't suicidal." Lacus sighed. "Besides, he wouldn't want to die at Athrun's hands."

"How do you know?" Cagalli asked. She wasn't sure where Lacus was coming from. To her it was simple: Shinn was looking for a way out, and by golly he found it. Now everyone was spiraling downward into Hell itself. Soon they would all be swallowed whole.

Lacus couldn't reply for a moment. How _did_ she know? "I'm not sure. Maybe it was just the look in his eyes. Shinn just doesn't seem the kind of person to look for _that_ kind of trouble. I know he's rash and impulsive, but it's different now. Besides, he's been a lot calmer lately." She replied.

"From what I hear, he's stopped fighting with Athrun. I mean, he'll just stop when they're in an argument. He used to egg Athrun on just for fun, but now it's like he's afraid of getting Athrun angry." Cagalli told her.

"Yeah, I've caught that too. Something happened between them."

"Maybe Kira knows. He seems to be on the inside of everything with those two." Cagalli mused. Lacus shot her an odd glance. "That came out wrong." Lacus giggled and Cagalli smiled at her. She absently reached out to run her hands through the long pink hair. Lacus leaned in closer, resting her head on Cagalli's shoulder.

"How freaked was he when he saw us?" Cagalli chuckled.

Lacus couldn't help but smile in amusement. "Poor thing. Either he forgot we're together—,"

"—or blocked it from his mind—,"

"—or didn't believe us."

"Like I said, denial."

"I don't know why it's such a surprise. When he and Athrun told us they were lovers we didn't mind."

"Yeah, it gave us an excuse to be together without wondering what they'd say. I mean, what did they expect to happen when they dumped their girlfriends for each other?"

"Maybe they thought we'd find other men."

"That kind of limited thinking got them into this mess." Cagalli declared and Lacus laughed.

"In any case, I'm glad we get to be together." The pink-haired woman said warmly, smiling up at Cagalli.

Cagalli smiled back, stroking her hair. "Me too, because hiding my feelings was getting difficult. I mean, I know how they felt, sneaking around and hoping no one noticed. But I'm also glad we don't have the drama."

"Indeed. Everyone said two females in a relationship would cause the most drama, and look at us!"

"Practically perfect in every way." Cagalli purred, nuzzling Lacus's neck.

"Except for when you leave the cap off the toothpaste. It gets annoying after a few times." Lacus piped up.

"You're just a perfectionist or something." Cagalli muttered.

"I like things neat and tidy."

"And I don't care." Cagalli shrugged.

Lacus looked up at her with a frown, but then beamed, giggling again. "I love you anyway, messy little princess."

Cagalli smirked down at her. "I love you too, pretty in pink princess."

"Who needs a prince?"

"Not us."

* * *

"Athrun, do you really think this is a good idea?" Kira asked as they rounded a corner so sharply he could feel the tires lifting.

"Kira, do you really think asking me that is a good idea?" Athrun asked. His eyes were still glazed over, the pupils nearly gone from sight. Those emeralds looked hard as stone and ready to draw blood.

Kira knew he was in a dangerous situation, not only with Athrun's driving, but also his state of mind. However, he also knew he had to stop his friend from doing anything too destructive. He couldn't let Athrun go down that road, at least not alone. He had to be the voice of reason keeping his friend from jumping from that ledge. He was already on the edge of a cliff, staring down into the abyss. He needed to be pulled back.

"What exactly are you planning to do?" Kira asked instead.

"Find Rey and kill him."

"And that solves everything?"

"Yep."

"So Shinn will just stop having nightmares? Just like that? He'll be fine and you'll both live happily ever after?" Kira felt more than saw the glare Athrun directed at him, his head slowly turning from the road to the passenger. "You might want to pay attention to the road." He said in a small voice.

Athrun turned back, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. They were going twenty miles over the speed limit. Kira was surprised they weren't being chased down by cops. Then again, Athrun was known for speeding on a regular basis, and since his high-end sports car was so easy to recognize, ORB patrol cars didn't even bother pulling him over anymore. They just deducted his paycheck whenever they saw him fly by.

"It won't solve everything, but Shinn won't have to worry about that anymore." Athrun finally replied in a low voice.

Kira was surprised to actually get a response and sat up a bit from his sunken position. "But won't that traumatize him even more? And…make him _more_ afraid of you?" he leaned against the car door, as far from Athrun as he could, but it wouldn't stop the driver from reaching over and strangling him.

Athrun's grip tightened around the wheel even more. Kira thought he heard something pop. He gulped and let out a shaky breath. Just then Athrun swung the car around so fast Kira ended up in his lap. He realized the car had stopped and suddenly saw his life flashing before his eyes. Athrun was going to kill him. Seriously this time.

Before he could plead for mercy his head bounced against the seat because Athrun was bolting out of the car. He looked up and cursed as he saw the reason why.

"Athrun! Don't do anything stupid! This isn't a war anymore, you can't just go around killing people who piss you off!" Kira shouted as he struggled to undo the seatbelt and crawl out of the still-running car.

His cries alerted Rey to Athrun's presence right before a fist collided with his left cheek. He stumbled and a crowd of people parted around the scene. Athrun was pulling back for another punch when Rey ducked and faced him.

"So he told you." He said calmly.

Kira rushed through. "Nothing to see here, go about your business please everyone." He called as politely as he could. "Please leave the area!" He definitely didn't want any civilian casualties due to Athrun's behavior. He grabbed Athrun's arm and got in front of him. "Look, you know this isn't right."

"Isn't right? Tell me how this isn't right! He gets away with hurting Shinn _again_ and you think it's okay?" Athrun yelled.

"That's not what I'm saying. He should be put in jail or something." Kira explained.

"That'll take too long. I don't want Shinn to be afraid all the time. This has to stop." Athrun growled and wrenched his arm free. Rey hadn't moved, just stood staring at them with his hands in his pockets. The streets were empty, but the windows had faces pressed against them. Kira could see someone frantically speaking into a telephone.

"Athrun, you'll get yourself in trouble. Let justice—," Kira began.

"Justice!" Athrun whirled on him, making Kira jump back. "I _am _Justice!"

Before Kira could reply Rey spoke. "I didn't hurt him. I'm not sure what he said, but he went willingly."

Athrun whipped back around. "No he didn't. You dragged him off to rape him." He said through clenched teeth.

Rey shook his head. "We bumped into each other on the street. Shinn seemed surprised to see me, and I was surprised too—,"

"Like you weren't stalking him all this time!" Athrun shouted.

"No, I wasn't. I honestly didn't know he would be here. Orb was the last place I thought he'd go. I suppose he followed you here."

"And you want me to believe you _didn't_ follow him?"

"I'm telling the truth. We talked and Shinn said he missed me. We kissed and I took him to my apartment. I didn't force him to do anything. He initiated."

Athrun couldn't comprehend what Rey was saying. It couldn't be true, he couldn't let himself think that. Shinn would never go back to Rey after what happened; he would never betray him like this.

"You're lying." Athrun hissed.

"Athrun, please, I think the cops are coming." Kira said, lightly touching Athrun's shoulder.

The bluenette rolled his shoulder to shake Kira's hand free. "Then they can take away the criminal." He said.

Kira sighed. "Good."

"In a body bag."

Kira registered what Athrun said a second too late, as fists were flying and Rey's blood dripped onto the pavement. To his credit, he didn't fight back, but that seemed to anger Athrun more.

"You think not fighting back will turn you into a hero?" Athrun asked, plunging his knuckles into Rey's midsection.

"I won't say I don't deserve this, especially at your hands." Rey said, coughing blood.

Kira tried to restrain Athrun but got kicked in the shin for his efforts. He knew Rey was waiting for the cops to show up so they would arrest Athrun for assault, he could see it in those cold eyes. He could sense himself shift and stood, eyes large and purple, his mind focused. He tackled Athrun to the ground and held his arms behind his back, shoving his knee against Athrun's spine.

"That's enough."

Rey wiped his mouth and stepped forward. Kira took the gun from Athrun's hip and pointed it at Rey, keeping one hand on Athrun.

"Don't move." He commanded, his tone calm but serious.

Rey hesitated. "I can still make him suffer, as I did." He said.

Kira glared at him, ready to pull the trigger if Rey decided to become aggressive. He wouldn't kill him, because that wasn't his style, but he would make sure the blond couldn't run away. Athrun struggled beneath him, almost bucking him off. Kira pushed Athrun's arms up, stretching the tendons painfully.

"Kira get off. Let me go."

"He liked it." Rey said, startling them.

Athrun stopped struggling and glared up at him. Kira tightened his grip on the gun handle. "Don't say anything."

Rey snorted. "He wanted it to happen. He missed me. He missed the things we did together. Maybe he wasn't getting satisfied at home."

Athrun yanked his arms out of Kira's grip, but Kira wrenched one arm back and pushed him back down. "I said stop talking."

Rey shook his head. "He needs to hear this. He needs to know the truth. Shinn let me touch him, let me kiss him, and he kissed me back. He let me lower him onto my bed."

"You forced him, he had no choice. He already told me he never fought back." Athrun spat. "Kira, if you don't get off I'll hurt you."

Kira glanced down at his friend and back at Rey, who was still standing with a smirk on his face. He slowly stood up, keeping Athrun's arms restrained, the gun still pointing at Rey. "Don't listen to him, he just wants to get you angry so you'll do something rash." He whispered into Athrun's ear.

Athrun turned his glare on Kira, then eyed the gun.

"Don't even think about it."

"There's no point in trying to calm him down. If he can't handle the truth he doesn't deserve Shinn." Rey told him.

Athrun had a knife out and was standing in front of Kira before the brunette knew what happened. He reached out to stop Kira's hand from restraining him again. "Go to the hospital Kira. I'll take care of this, just make sure Shinn's alright."

"Shinn's in the hospital? So I was right. I knew you'd hurt him." Rey snarled and lunged forward.

"No!" Kira called out but was shoved back by Athrun who struck at Rey with his knife, slicing open his shoulder.

Rey clutched at the wound and smirked again. "Thanks Athrun, now I'll just have to go to the ER." He said and dashed into the alleyway in between apartment buildings and a string of small shops. Athrun growled and raced after him but was caught by Kira.

"Stop it, you'll only get yourself hurt and put in prison."

"He's going after Shinn, I have to stop him." Athrun said and started forward. He ran down the alley but stopped, then dived sideways toward Kira again as a car sped backwards, then turned in the direction of the hospital. "Damnit!"

He sheathed the knife and jumped back into the car. Kira ran around to the passenger side and threw himself in before Athrun spun the wheels to go after Rey.

"Just think about this!"

"I am. I can't let him get to Shinn. I just can't, Kira." The look in his friend's eyes made Kira bite back his response and slump against the seat.

Behind them, sirens wailed as blue and red lights flashed against the shop windows.

* * *

Shinn became aware of himself again only to have the image of the old man behind his eyelids. He gasped, opening them quickly to nearly blind himself against the light. When his vision adjusted he saw a face above him, wrinkled with age and uglier than before. Shinn blinked, but the old man's face was still there, whether his eyes were closed or open. The heart rate monitor pounded out a fast rhythm. The man shuffled over to the machine and turned it off.

"We don't want them coming back, now do we? There's no need for them to sedate you again." the man finally spoke. That voice made Shinn's hair rise. He moved his arms to get away but met resistance. He looked down to see his arms and legs strapped to the bed. "You were thrashing around too much, so they had to restrain you. So you see, sedation is unnecessary. You're fine just the way you are."

Shinn tried to scream, but nothing came out. Tears pricked his eyes, blurring his vision. He tried to blink them away, shaking his head.

"You remember me, don't you? It was a long time ago, but I remember you." The older man said gravelly. He reached out to stroke Shinn's cheek, who turned his head away. The hand brushed against his neck, trailing down. "I remember your screams, the way your eyes looked, all big and frightened, just like now. I remember your tiny body struggling against mine. I remember how you felt." The man whispered, leaning in.

"If I knew you would grow up to be this handsome, I would have waited." he chuckled, then pressed his lips against Shinn's exposed skin.

The boy jerked at the touch, letting out a whine. He yanked at the restraints, trying to move away from his enemy from the past.

"I've been keeping a close eye on you. I admit I lost touch for a while, but then I found you again. I heard about what happened, how you joined ZAFT. What a good little soldier boy. Did they make you obedient?" the child molester asked, running his hand along Shinn's chest over the thin gown he wore. "And I heard you were attacked—not in battle, but in your own quarters by a close friend, a comrade. Oh yes, I know about that. It seems I wasn't the only one who felt drawn to you."

Shinn opened his mouth, but again nothing came out but a small whimper. It wasn't loud enough. No one would hear. He searched for a call button to alert the nurse, but it was hanging too far out of reach. The old man must have moved it.

"Nice fellow, Rey is. Quite a beautiful boy."

Shinn stopped moving. His breathing halted. He shuddered at the touch as it drifted lower. He slowly glanced at the old man and looked toward the door, slightly open.

His heart stopped. Only for a moment, but it paused in contemplation as he saw blond hair on the other side of the glass. Rey was there, holding his bleeding shoulder and talking with a surgeon as he sat on a gurney. The old man turned to look at Rey, who caught his eye. This was his dream all over again, just a different setting.

"Yes, we know each other very well."

Shinn didn't struggle, his eyes holding a blank stare.

"It's a shame, really. I'm dying of some STD, maybe Syphilis. I don't know nor care. But to see you again, to recreate our special encounter…well, it's a dying man's only wish, and it's about to be fulfilled."

In his mind, he was screaming out a name. His lips moved to form the words, but no sound escaped. He was almost afraid to call out, wondering if the dream would continue on the same course when in reality. Even so, he wanted only one person right now.

"A…Ah…thrun….."

"What's that?" the old man leaned in closer.

"Ath…run…" Shinn whispered.

"Run? You can't run now."

"Athrun…Athrun…" his voice was finally working again, the word getting louder each time he said it. "Athrun. Athrun! ATHRUN!"

* * *

Lacus's head popped up from resting on Cagalli's shoulder, her head swiveling in the direction of Shinn. "Did you hear that?"

"Hm?" Cagalli asked, frowning in the same direction.

"I think that's Shinn." Lacus breathed as the scream reached them. "He's screaming…he's screaming 'Athrun'! Cagalli!"

They both rushed forward but were stopped in the hallway by a nurse. "I'm sorry ladies but you can't go that way right now."

"Let us through, our friend is yelling, he needs help!" Cagalli demanded.

"I'm sorry princess, he's probably just in pain or having another dream—," the nurse began.

"No! We need to see him please!" Lacus said and tried to go around. "Shinn!"

"AAAATHRUUUUUUN!"

"SHINN!" both women called out, scrambling around the nurse who began calling for other doctors. They rushed toward the scene to see Rey standing in the doorway to Shinn's room. At the commotion he turned back and saw them, flashing them a smile as he went inside and closed the door.

Cagalli rammed into the door, wrenching the handle to the side, but it was locked. "How could it be locked from the inside? Are you people stupid?!" she yelled and began banging on the door.

"Ma'am please just calm down." A nurse told her.

"He's getting hurt in there! Can't you see they're molesting him!"

* * *

Athrun almost drove up on the sidewalk and barely had the car in park before running out of the open door. Kira turned the car off and took the keys from the ignition, slamming both doors shut before following Athrun inside. He knew losing his car would only infuriate his friend more, even if it wasn't important at the moment.

When they got inside there was a massive panic, with patients and doctors rushing around frantically. It wasn't exactly different from any other time, so they pushed through.

"Stop! You can't go that way!" a doctor called out, rushing after them.

"Sorry sir, we need to see someone!" Kira yelled back as Athrun kept racing forward.

"There's a situation down there, we can't let you through!" the doctor called after them, still trying to catch up.

Kira slowed down. "What kind of situation?"

Athrun could hear them but kept going. He already knew.

"Some patients are holding another patient hostage; Representative Attha and Miss Lacus Clyne are down there right now."

"Shit." Kira muttered under his breath and started running after Athrun again.

"Wait! I already told you not to go down there!"

"I'm Cagalli's brother and this is Orb Representative Alex Dino, we're here to help!" Kira called over his shoulder. The doctor in pursuit stopped and threw his hands in the air.

When Kira caught up to Athrun he told him what the doctor said. "There's more than one person after Shinn. Who else would it be?" he asked.

"We're about to find out." Athrun said as they rounded a corner and saw the waiting room. In the back of his mind, he thought of the most absurd answer to Kira's question. It couldn't be, not just in reality but figuratively as well. There was no way Shinn's dream could be coming true.

"AAAATHRUUUUN! AAAAATHRUUUUUUUN! AAAAAAA—,"

"SHINN!" he called out when he heard his lover's screams. He was wrong, the dream was definitely coming true. But it would have a different ending.

"Athrun! Kira! Rey's in there with someone else, they locked the door from the inside, we can't get through!" Cagalli told them.

"Have you tried knocking it down?" Athrun asked.

"No…"

Athrun rammed into the door with so much force it was ripped from its hinges and he came crashing down on top of it.

"Well, I guess I softened it up for you…"

Kira jumped over the wreckage and went after an older man who was hovering over Shinn's bed while Athrun tackled Rey, pinning him against the wall.

"Athrun…" Shinn cried, tears streaking down his face as he stared at his lover.

"I'm here, Shinn." As he realized he used the words from the dream, he quickly added, "And Kira's here too. We're not gonna let anything happen to you now."

"Too late." The older man said and lifted a needle filled with a thick red substance.

"It's his blood! He has syphilis!" Shinn yelled as he whirled around on Kira.

"I was saving this for Shinn, but you'll do just fine. My, you're handsome as well." The child molester stated and stabbed forward at Kira.

"KIRA!"

* * *

**-Author's Note: Yes, I just did that. Hey, at least I got to add in some fluff between the girls! How else could I smooth some of the tension? I wanted to leave off at a point where I can easily pick back up, and a cliffhanger is the only way! Sorry, but hopefully the next chapter will be out much quicker. I can't promise how soon, but I'll start it after I upload this one just for good measure. Maybe we'll do a double-header tonight…okay that may have sounded wrong. Anyway, let me know what you think! I'll try to add more fluff and humor to diffuse all this darkness and bad juju in the next chapter, and hopefully after this event we can get back to the good stuff! Until then, peace out!-**


	15. Chapter 15: If I Die Young

**Chapter 15: If I Die Young…**

**Disclaimer: The song is by The Band Perry and no, I don't own it. I also do not own Gundam Seed Destiny, because if I did…Yaoi. Yaoi everywhere. **

**Warning: Speaking of yaoi…be warned. There're some sexual references not for the faint of heart; although if you've read through the previous chapters, this one should be a piece of cake.**

* * *

"_Too late." The older man said and lifted a needle filled with a thick red substance._

"_It's his blood! He has syphilis!" Shinn yelled as he whirled around on Kira._

"_I was saving this for Shinn, but you'll do just fine. My, you're handsome as well." The child molester stated and stabbed forward at Kira._

"_KIRA!"_

The amethyst-eyed coordinator dodged the needle and caught the older man's arm, yanking it at a painful angle and forcing his hand to flex open, dropping the needle on the floor.

Doctors rushed in, along with security guards, and everyone was yelling.

Athrun was only focused on Shinn, but he had to dispose of Rey first. The former Zaft member and comrade head butted Athrun and took out a gun, pointing it at the bluenette's head. At the sight of the black object of death, everyone stopped. Kira was still struggling with the older man and Shinn was watching both in horror, his head moving from side to side.

"Easy now young man. Just put the gun down." A security officer said, holding his hand out. There was more shouting down the halls and footfalls announced the arrival of more police officers.

"You're trapped now. You can't escape." Athrun told Rey.

"I can take you down with me." Rey replied and cocked his weapon.

The security guard reached for his weapon. "Pull out that gun and Representative Alex Dino dies. Or should I say, Zaft's own Athrun Zala."

"Don't you dare shoot anyone, Rey!" Cagalli yelled, pushing past the crowd of doctors and officers.

"Or what? You have no dominion over me, Attha." Rey spat.

"Go ahead boy! Shoot! Kill them all!" the older man yelled, still struggling against Kira.

"Stop fighting me or I'll have to hurt you!" Kira said, still unsure who exactly he was restraining.

"Ha! I'm already dying, and I got what I wanted, so kill me if you must." He replied.

Kira's eyes widened and he looked to Shinn.

"Will someone please get me out of these damn restraints!" he wailed, thrashing around on the bed. Kira noticed a few blood stains on the sheets as they were flipped around.

A nurse went forward to the bed, but Rey swung the gun toward her. "Don't go near him." He growled. "This is what will happen: everyone backs the fuck off so I can take Shinn. No one attempts to stop me. No one follows us. Do that and everyone will survive."

"I'll never let you take him." Athrun snarled, reaching for his knife.

A shot rang out, followed by a muffled _thump_, a ping as the bullet hit the wall, and a grunt. Athrun stumbled back, clutching his shoulder. His knife dropped to the floor, clanking against the tile.

"That was just a warning shot." Rey announced and aimed at Athrun's chest. "The next one will be fatal."

"Athrun…" Shinn cried, struggling further.

A doctor steadied Athrun and examined the wound. "It went through, but there's still some damage. Looks like you've been shot here before…"

"Yeah, that was from my father." Athrun said.

"So it's really him? Athrun Zala?" a nurse whispered to another nurse.

Cagalli pushed past them to approach Athrun. "How bad is it?"

"I'm fine." He replied, brushing her off. "And you'll have to kill me, because there's no way I'm letting you out of here alive."

The older man stopped trying to gain freedom against Kira, and instead leaned back against him. His hands wandered over the part of Kira's form he could reach, making the younger man twitch and try to move out of his reach. There was a clinking sound as something rolled by. Only Rey caught the old man's smirk as he grabbed Kira's upper thigh with his right hand and reached under the bed with his left to grab the needle. Kira yelped and Athrun whirled around to see the old man poising the needle over Kira's vein.

"How about now? Will you let your pretty young friend be cursed like me?"

"Kira!" Lacus exclaimed and dashed over. Before anyone could stop her, she kicked the needle out of the man's hand so it crashed against the wall behind them. Everyone was too stunned to react as Lacus pulled Kira out from underneath the man who was glaring up at her.

"You bitch!" he roared and flung himself at her. Cagalli tackled him while the medical staff and officials merely stared, dumbfounded. Then they realized how to do their jobs and trained their guns on both the old man and Rey.

"Looks like you're a bit outgunned." Athrun leered with a wince.

Rey narrowed his eyes and then swiveled the gun to point at Shinn. "I'll take him away. One way or the other, he'll be mine." Athrun blocked Rey's shot with his own body. "So be it."

There was a thud as Rey slumped to the floor after being knocked on the head with a police baton. The officer looked stern as he took out handcuffs. "Rey za Burrell, you're under arrest for assault with intent to kill and kidnapping. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law…"

As the other officers grabbed hold of the older man who shouted obscenities and vowed vengeance, Cagalli, Kira, Athrun, and Lacus looked slightly stunned. For once they weren't the ones dealing out justice. It felt weird.

Cagalli cleared her throat and brushed off her outfit. "Well, now that that's taken care of…let's leave these three alone." She said and ushered everyone out of the room.

"I must insist on bandaging that wound, sir." The doctor who inspected Athrun's gunshot wound said.

"Can someone _please_ untie me first?" Shinn whined.

The medical staff got it together and began bustling about the room, asking Cagalli, Lacus, and Kira if they were hurt, rushing over to Shinn to check his vitals and release his restraints, and surrounding Athrun.

"Or not…" Cagalli sighed after telling the nurses she was fine.

"We should really check your foot, Miss Clyne. When you kicked the needle…did you feel anything?" a nurse asked the pink-haired woman.

"No, I don't think so." She said and lifted her leg to look down at her ankle. There was a smear of blood and Cagalli's eyes widened.

The nurse wiped at the blood with a tissue and it came off clean. "Looks like it just spilled from the impact. You should probably get tested just in case." The nurse told her after hunching over her foot.

Cagalli went with her to the testing area, forgetting all about the boys. With Kira's nonexistent wounds, he was ushered out of the room. Giving both Athrun and Shinn worried glances, he followed his sister out.

"I want to stay here." Athrun said as the doctor tried convincing him to go to another room to be looked after.

The doctor pursed his lips in agitation but prodded Athrun toward a chair. "Bring in the kit from another room!" he called to a nurse as she left the room. She nodded and left quickly. The man continued examining Athrun's wound, poking certain areas and holding a cloth up to stop the bleeding.

Athrun reached out with his other arm to Shinn, who was free now and crawled toward the end of the bed where Athrun was seated. Shinn wrapped his arms around Athrun, trying to avoid the wounded shoulder, and Athrun leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

"Let me know if you're getting dizzy." The doctor warned, eyeing Athrun cautiously.

"Mmhmm." He replied, relaxing against Shinn.

"Sir, we're not done checking you for trauma." A nurse told Shinn softly. He clung to Athrun until the man passed out, then watched as they pulled another bed in the room and laid Athrun in it, hooking him up to IVs while properly cleaning and bandaging his shoulder. Then Shinn laid back down and let them continue their search.

* * *

Cagalli was holding her girlfriend's hand so hard, her tendons stuck out against her skin. Lacus flexed her hand, letting Cagalli know to ease up a bit. The two smiled at each other, but their eyes held concern and the corners of their mouths barely reached to their eyes. A nurse was drawing blood while Lacus was seated, and the room was too silent. Cagalli didn't think she was breathing. All she knew was that Lacus, _her _Lacus, might be in trouble.

"Miss Attha," a doctor said gently, approaching them. He held paperwork in his hands and a concerned expression.

Cagalli turned toward the man but didn't let go of Lacus's hand. Kira stepped forward, his eyes searching for good news.

"We have the results for your two friends." He said quietly. "I thought you might like to know."

Cagalli nodded, her face blank. Kira accepted the papers and brought them over so they could all look over the notes and diagnostics.

"Oh…my…" Lacus whispered.

"Shit." Kira breathed.

"Wait…is that?" Cagalli asked. Before anyone could answer the nurse pulled the needle out of Lacus's arm, slapped a Band-Aid on it, and gathered the bottles together.

"I'm going to take these in for testing, and we should have the results shortly. We're testing the others as well, but it doesn't appear that they have any wounds to indicate the blood got in their system." The nurse told them and hurried off.

The doctor stayed, quietly watching the others as they reviewed the information.

"Athrun's shoulder, it was the same one he's had problems with before." Cagalli noted, remembering all the times she saw the man bandaged and broken.

"Do you think it will function properly after this?" Lacus asked.

"We believe there will be some movement issues, due to multiple sources of damage. Nothing major, but it may get locked up from time to time and will require therapy." The doctor told them.

"And Shinn?" Kira asked worriedly. "Is this…true?"

The doctor frowned sadly. "I'm afraid it is. There is…a lot of trauma, in the area. It must have happened…multiple times, over the course of many years."

Kira clenched his jaw to stop the tears welling in his eyes. Cagalli and Lacus shared a look, holding each other tightly. "Do they know?" he asked.

"They're both unconscious. We'll tell them when they wake up. Right now they need to rest. We've started some medications and will monitor their recovery."

"And what about the…those _people_?" Cagalli asked, glaring.

"Uh, as far as I know they've been arrested and taken to the law enforcement center."

"But how did they get in here?" she asked, stalking toward him. Lacus laid a hand on her arm. Kira looked aside guiltily.

"Well…the older man, Roger Sparks, was admitted into hospice care after being diagnosed with syphilis. He was in the late stages when he was tested, so his organs have begun failing. We were unable to cure it. The younger man came into the ER just recently, claiming he was stabbed. We began treating the wound and then…well, the trouble started."

Kira sighed, but Cagalli grew angrier. She whirled on Kira, demanding an explanation with her amber eyes. The doctor retrieved the papers and took his leave, quietly.

"Okay, after you left Athrun was still pissed off and wanted to go find Rey," he began.

"Which he clearly did." Lacus commented.

"And you _let_ him?" Cagalli asked fiercely.

"I couldn't exactly stop him, Cagalli. What was I supposed to do? Offer myself as a sacrifice?"

"So what happened when you found Rey?"

"Athrun attacked him—,"

"And you LET HIM?" she shrieked again.

"Cagalli, you would've done the same thing." Lacus murmured.

"That's not the point, it gave him the excuse to come down here. How did he find out Shinn was here in the first place? Kira? _How did he find out_?"

Kira gulped. Too many people were angry at him today. It made him nervous. "It…slipped."

"It slipped. Really."

"Athrun wanted me to leave to make sure Shinn was okay, and that's when Rey ran forward. He was stalling and didn't fight back so when the cops came they would arrest Athrun, but when he heard Shinn was in the hospital he must have changed plans."

"That still doesn't explain why the two men were working together against Shinn." Lacus said.

"The old man was probably just horny." Cagalli scoffed.

"But he knew Shinn, he said his name. And he knew Rey too." Lacus replied.

Kira raised his hand. "I have a theory…but you won't like it."

* * *

Shinn was hovering somewhere. It felt like space. He wondered if this was the aftermath of a battle, but couldn't remember getting thrown out of his cockpit. What was going on? He was back in the war…no, the war was over. Then why was he floating in space?

He breathed. Okay, that was a good sign. Or was it? Was he dead? It was dark in here, but it wasn't space. But maybe it was. He didn't know.

Wait. Something was tugging at his mind, trying to tell him something. It started small, barely audible, but he felt a response. Home? Maybe he was dead, meeting up with his family. No, it wasn't his family. A name. A name whispered across his skin, echoing in his thoughts and dreams. A name he'd screamed before.

Athrun. The name was Athrun.

"Athrun…" he mumbled, opening his eyes. He was still in the hospital, he knew that through the haze. Nightmares and reality blurred across his vision, and he didn't know what was real. He was still floating in space, lost in a world where only a name existed.

"Shinn."

He turned without thinking to stare into green eyes. Finally he felt grounded. Home. He smiled, reaching out. Their fingers touched, and Athrun sighed, closing his eyes.

"I have to ask you something." Shinn said, a whisper, the loudest he ever uttered.

Athrun opened his eyes. "Anything." He replied.

Shinn swallowed, willing the courage to stay. "What…what _happened_?" he choked out.

Athrun frowned, turning away. Shinn clutched his fingers tightly until his face returned. "You don't want to know right now, Shinn. Just rest, and know that you are safe."

Shinn shook his head. "Please tell me. I need to know…what's real."

Athrun didn't look happy, but he wasn't angry. His shoulder was bandaged and he was lying in a bed similar to Shinn's, close enough so they could touch. But he didn't remember why. The last thing he knew was…an argument.

Red eyes widened. "Did I do this to you?" he exclaimed, trying to sit up.

Athrun chuckled dryly, shaking his head. "No, Shinn." Then he looked concerned. "You really don't remember?"

"I just…I don't know where my dreams end and real life begins."

Athrun sighed and turned on his side, wincing slightly. "We had an argument. You fainted. I asked the girls to bring you to the hospital."

"I remember that part." Shinn said, still in a small, low voice.

"Then…I went in search of Rey. It was stupid, and I wasn't thinking because I was so damn angry. Kira was with me. He tried to stop me, but I wouldn't listen." He paused.

Shinn clenched his fingers around Athrun's tightly. "Tell me more."

"Well, we found him. I…I wasn't being rational. I just attacked. My thoughts were centered on you, and what he did…what I _thought_ he did, and how he would continue to hurt you if I let him live. But he…he had a plan, and I walked right into a trap."

"Is that how you injured your shoulder?"

"No. He was baiting me. The cops were on the way and Kira was trying to stop me before they showed up. Then I asked him to make sure you were okay at the hospital. It was stupid of me to say out loud. Rey purposely injured himself against my blade so he could go to the ER. So he could see you."

Shinn frowned. This wasn't where he wanted the story to go. Athrun saw the apprehension in Shinn's face and hesitated.

"But then…everything…" Shinn said.

"Like I said, you don't want to think about that right now. I'm sorry." Athrun told him.

Shinn closed his eyes, realizing the scenes dancing behind his lids were, in fact, reality. Slowly, grudgingly, his mind began to place the pieces together, separating fact from fiction, unreal to real, until both episodes were laid out in front of him, set on replay. The images, the horrifying images, made his body numb. But he had to keep watching.

"Shinn…you're safe here, just relax." Athrun's voice called him from the haze. He followed the voice and felt like he breached the surface of a vast ocean.

"Where are they? I mean, what happened to them?" Shinn asked.

"Which ones? You mean Rey and that other man?" Athrun asked cautiously. Shinn nodded. "They were arrested. I don't know how everything will go from here."

Shinn took a deep breath as he processed the information. "I don't…I mean, nothing will happen if I'm involved."

"What do you mean? You need to press charges!"

"I don't have the evidence against…the older man. And Rey…he's already paying for his crimes. There's nothing I can do."

"Excuse me." The doctor said as he poked his head in. Athrun looked upset that he wasn't able to continue the conversation, but also knew the doctor was there for a good reason. He had papers in his hands.

"Come in." Athrun said, shifting around. Shinn stared at the doctor, waiting for more bad news. Or maybe good news this time. That would be a nice change.

"We have the preliminary results. Some testing is still underway, but the assessments are done." The doctor said as he approached.

"Shinn first." Athrun declared, more concerned about his lover's welfare than his own. A bullet to the shoulder was a bullet to the shoulder.

"Right, well. The original trauma you were brought in with was stressing your body, so we were trying to keep your levels even through sedation. However, the events which occurred earlier escalated your condition, so we'll need to keep you here longer than first anticipated. Also…" the doctor paused. It was a rare thing for a doctor to pause during a diagnosis delivery, considering they were trained to keep their emotions at bay in order to think from a logical standpoint. When they did pause, it was barely for doubts. When doctors pause, their emotions are not restrained enough. When doctors pause, something is wrong.

"We did…another kit. We're testing for syphilis."

That familiar pain, that ache, reached Shinn through the mental numbness. He closed his eyes, knowing all along what his mind tried feebly to block out. They were too late. The old man got what he wanted. It was all very clear.

"What do you mean." Athrun wasn't asking, but the question held within his response was clear. Now he was the one who didn't know what was up or down.

The doctor hesitated. "The older man is dying of syphilis, and we believe it may have been transferred to Shinn. We took blood samples from everyone, including yourself, but the most likely candidate is…Shinn. Possibly Miss Lacus as well, because they both came into direct contact with the diseased areas."

"Diseased…areas…" Athrun replied like a parrot. His eyes narrowed dangerously.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't…" Athrun chuckled again, a chilling, "no way is this happening" kind of laugh. "He's not…Shinn wasn't…" he was shaking his head, a pained smile on his face to rid himself of the obvious truth. Nope, not gonna believe it.

"Athrun…" Shinn whispered, reaching out again.

"As far as your shoulder goes, it was a clean wound, but due to other damage you may have problems using it. We suggest going through physical therapy. The two of you also have the option for…psychiatric therapy." The doctor continued quickly, sensing Athrun's meltdown.

Instead of a loud, possibly nuclear, explosion taking place, the bluenette…just sat there. Unmoving, unblinking, his arms rigid as they held up his body on the bed.

"I'll just leave these here." The doctor said, placing the documents on the table and hurrying out of the room.

Shinn stared at his lover, wondering what would happen. This was definitely new. He had never seen Athrun in this state. They may need Kira.

"Athrun…Athrun?" Shinn coaxed his body forward, leaning over his bed onto Athrun's to give him a shake.

Athrun blinked, expelling air as if he'd been holding his breath. He still looked too pale.

There was a soft knock on the door, and Shinn looked up to see Kira's head in the window. He beckoned them inside.

"They told us." Kira announced.

"Yeah." Shinn said and looked back to Athrun.

Kira approached, sitting down on the bed slowly. Cagalli and Lacus exchanged glances after seeing their friend's face.

Kira brushed some hair out of Athrun's face. "We're here." He whispered.

Athrun let his body slowly slump over onto Kira, not even flinching when his wounded shoulder hit the bone of Kira's own shoulder. Shinn crawled onto the bed and laid his head in his lap. They all sat in silence, waiting for something, anything to happen.

Athrun reached over and clutched Shinn's hand.

* * *

**-Author's Note: It's okay to call me evil. Anyway, the long-awaited next chapter. Woo! And I actually have notes for the next chapter, so hopefully it won't take too long for me to get it out. I think it's funny how Athrun gets shot again. Well, not funny, but ironic. I was thinking, "Athrun gets shot all the time. He's like the red shirt that never dies." And even though I never actually saw Star Trek, I was glad I could make that joke. Back on topic: any questions, comments, suggestions, ideas, whatever feel free to tell me. Annnd…yeah. It's nice to be back~ Peace out everyone-**


	16. Chapter 16: Test Results

**Chapter 16: Test Results**

**Disclaimer: I think we all know what would happen if I owned even one percent of Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny. Or an actual Gundam. Since the world is still in one piece and the canon is heterosexual, we can all assume I own nothing related to the series. So sad.**

_I know, it's been longer than I wanted. Sorry. It's also been quite dark, although this fic has been consistently dark. Hmm. Might try to work in some humor in this. Also, there might be sex. Or almost sex. Or closer than I ever got before fading to black._

* * *

_Athrun let his body slowly slump over onto Kira, not even flinching when his wounded shoulder hit the bone of Kira's own shoulder. Shinn crawled onto the bed and laid his head in his lap. They all sat in silence, waiting for something, anything to happen._

_Athrun reached over and clutched Shinn's hand._

The following events blurred together in Shinn's mind, mixing with past horrors, future nightmares, and candy land dreamscapes haunted by sinister figures shrouded in shadow. His mind was a haze, constantly focused on images and videos that should have remained buried where he left them, locked away with no key; blocked. But the floodgates were opened and everything came pouring out. Joys and sorrows mingled like a bad cocktail, young versions of him watched older versions of him trying to get rid of his past by creating a new future. Ever since Athrun Zala waltzed into his life, with that red suit and perfect gun aim, Shinn's world has been turned upside down, flipped around, hogtied and ridden like a cowboy's dirty little secret. It was nauseating, going through this process over and over, reliving every moment he tried to shove away in the deepest and darkest recesses of his mind. But he couldn't escape—not from his past, and certainly not from his own mind. He was stuck, trapped, his fears coming to life and pinning him down, forcing this agony on him.

Enough was enough. He needed to wake up. Open his eyes and leave everything he feared and hated behind them, drifting together in the Land of No Return. He needed to end it.

As his lids snapped open he reassured himself that, yes, he was safely sleeping in the warm bed of his boyfriend, Athrun Zala. Athrun, who was lying next to him, his arm in a sling he fiddled with even in sleep. Sighing, Shinn turned, subconsciously wincing and then berating himself for it mentally as he reached out to brush some stray blue strands of hair out of his lover's eyes.

Like the soldier he was trained to be, Athrun's eyes immediately opened, searching the room for danger. When he realized it was just Shinn, giving a sheepish smile and still running fingers through his hair, his tense body relaxed. They stared at each other, memorizing each other's features as if they were strangers. Shinn didn't want to speak first and ruin the moment with his hoarse voice. He wanted to stay in this moment with Athrun forever. But then he remembered the vow he gave to himself upon waking. _Finish this_.

"So I was thinking," the younger male began, clearing his throat harshly before continuing, "we should have sex."

The statement seemed to stun the freshly woken Athrun, whose eyes widened as he slowly blinked. "Say that again?"

Shinn took a deep breath, shoving his nervousness and anxiety aside. "You know, do it. Put the key in the hole. Bangarang. _Plug it in, plug it in_." he replied in an explosion of sudden confidence. Shinn realized when he was nervous he spoke like he ruled the world. It helped in some situations. Not so much this time, he concluded after looking at the other man's face.

Athrun shook his head, waking himself up further and propping his uninjured elbow up to look down at Shinn. "And this thought was brought on by…what, exactly?" he asked, still contemplating the meaning behind those first words Shinn spoke, not to mention the bravado which meant his young lover was nervous as hell.

Shinn seemed to struggle with words at that point, making Athrun raise one devilish eyebrow. He was back to normal, to say the least, if not a bit more mature after the hospital incident. Frankly, he had that whole event blocked so he could take it aside when he was sixty-something to analyze it from a far-removed and wiser perspective. If, in his senile state, he thought it was just a made-up memory…that would work too.

Finally Shinn spoke again, rousing Athrun out of his thoughts on the future. "I just…need a way to move on, from everything. I think…I think this is my chance."

This time Athrun needed a moment to swallow a few times, his throat too dry for words. "Look…I appreciate the thought, but…you…what about your…" he gave up, falling back down and running a hand over his face. "I'm never going to be able to say that, but you know what I mean."

"You mean the syphilis? The doc cleared me like a week ago, remember? We had cake."

"Yeahhhh, but I don't wanna touch you."

When silence reigned, Athrun had the wherewithal to realize he might have said the wrong thing. He opened his eyes to see Shinn staring at him with an expression between awestruck horror and the glistening of tears forming in his eyes.

"It's not like that," Athrun moaned, "I just…"

"You're afraid of getting it?" Shinn prompted, lifting his own slender eyebrow.

"No, I mean yes but…"

"You think I'm fragile."

"Yes, that one."

Shinn's expression changed to mild contempt. Athrun sighed and continued rubbing the sleep from his eyes, stretching his legs a bit under the covers. Shinn's eyes lowered to watch his body move, an unintended distraction giving Athrun time to think of a way out of this new mess he put himself in. If he ate any more of his foot it would put a whole new meaning to the phrase "go fuck yourself" and he didn't want to be associated with that. Not when…

…this was _not_ the thought train he needed to go on, not when that question hung in the air between them like a ghost trying to haunt the school bully. The morning wood didn't help the situation much, either.

"Let's, um, talk about this later." He finally said, unable to come up with a solution.

"Why? We're already in bed."

Athrun stiffened and stifled a groan. Shinn was being determined again, which usually ended badly.

"That's exactly my point. No need to rush things." He countered and began pulling away, looking around the floor for a pair of boxer shorts to throw on.

A pale hand shot out to grab his arm, holding him effectively in place. "Athrun. It's been almost a year since we've been together. This is the longest I've ever gone without…I just think it's time."

Athrun looked back at him, hopeless. The incident with Rey and the child molester at the hospital didn't magically bring them together. Shinn still flinched at every budding argument and acted more submissive around Athrun, allowing the bluenette to take up the dominant mantle. Athrun didn't mind—he was dominant by nature—but he felt like a warden with Shinn as his prisoner sometimes. Plus he missed those passionate fights they used to get into during the war.

The only good that came of it was the relationship between Shinn and Kira. The two were nearly inseparable to the point where Athrun wasn't sure who was actually dating who. He eventually apologized to Kira for acting like a dick during the whole situation, and of course was easily forgiven. Kira made sure to hang around more often and take Shinn on fun dates when Athrun was too busy or too tired. Eventually they went out without even inviting Athrun, which got him a bit annoyed. But hey, if Shinn and Kira were happy, nothing else mattered.

And if finally hitting the nail on the head made Shinn happy, Athrun was willing to do it. More than willing. His balls matched the color of his hair, and it wasn't due to pubes. He shaved just to make sure what he saw was legit. He had to admit he wanted to jump on Shinn and do every sex position in the Kama Sutra, but his control was so tight he automatically repressed any sexual urge around him. In fact, they barely even kissed.

Suddenly a thought occurred to him, making his eyebrows lower as he whipped back around to look Shinn in the eyes. "Did you and Kira have sex?"

The darkness in his tone was displayed on Shinn's face, who was startled by the sudden aggression and leaned back, then tried to regain his confidence by clearing his throat again. "No…" he replied in a slightly confused manner.

"Did you two do…anything?" Athrun asked again, feeling a predatory instinct crawl through his veins. Repress. Repress. Repress.

Shinn started to look uncomfortable, going back to his usual fidgeting and lack of eye contact. "Why are you asking? I wasn't talking about Kira, I was talking about us." At least his diversion tactics were improving, but Athrun still saw right through the change of direction.

"I was just thinking of how you two have spent a lot of time together lately, and wondering if that had anything to do with your sudden change of heart." Athrun said in a low tone. He tried to reign it in…but _damn_ why did Shinn have to mention sex? He almost growled in anticipation of finally claiming—

'_Nope, not going there'_ Athrun told himself, focusing on Shinn again instead of his hard-on beneath the sheets.

The younger man in question was shaking his head, but still wasn't looking at him. Athrun reached out tentatively, taking Shinn's chin and gently pushing it up to face him. "You can tell me, I won't…it doesn't…just tell me."

The demand in his tone was so foreign…yet felt so right. He knew they were wading into dangerous waters, and he was becoming the shark.

Instead of backing down, Shinn met his stare. "Okay, we may have fiddled around a bit." This was good news in that Shinn was finally coming out of his little turtle shell, but it was bad news in the way Athrun's hand tightened around his chin. He tensed, waiting, but didn't pull away.

"Like…how you and I fiddle around?"

"Kind of. Kira's a bit…softer. And hesitant at first."

"Are you saying I'm…too rough? And you want to have sex with me."

The condescension in his voice made Shinn frown. He wasn't a child, and Athrun certainly wasn't his mother. Running on the boldness of his newfound commitment to shaking off his past, he leaned forward, coming closer to Athrun in a different position.

"Yes. I like it rough, in case you forgot."

_That_ caught Athrun's attention. Shinn knew his lover was about two seconds away from making that commitment a reality, and for once he wasn't afraid. He was, however, beginning to regret that statement about being rough. He hoped their first time would be a bit more romantic than that.

Athrun was the one to pull back. "I just don't think it's a good idea right now. I don't want to hurt you."

"But Athrun…if we keep going like this…it'll hurt you more."

Athrun raised another eyebrow as he was about to slide off the bed, looking back at Shinn over his shoulder. Could it be possible the kid knew how much he suffered due to lack of sexual encounters?

"I can tell by the way you look at me sometimes, like you're hungry. And I feel it too. I want you. I _need_ you. Please…don't deny this."

"Shinn, you're freaking me out, and you need to stop." Athrun said, quickly standing and snatching some pants thrown carelessly across the desk to cover himself.

Shinn frowned behind him. Normally this was the other way around. He decided to press his luck, following Athrun into the bathroom without bothering to hide. When Athrun saw him approach in the mirror he stopped, giving Shinn a warning look. Shinn ignored it, coming right up behind him and wrapping his arms around the slightly larger waist. He rested his head on Athrun's shoulder.

"I don't see how you can act like this. You wanted me to be ready, and now I am. Why hesitate at this point?"

"Because nothing's changed between us, and I don't want you to regret it after."

The hard words stopped Shinn, his body freezing. He distantly saw his eyes widen in shock in the mirror, while Athrun's closed. He felt something in Athrun's body, a tightening, a flex of muscle.

Then he was slammed against the wall and engulfed in a powerful kiss, Athrun's body pressed against him tightly so he could feel every curve, knowing _exactly_ what the true answer to his question was.

But Shinn still wasn't afraid. In fact, he was enthralled, deepening the kiss and pushing his own body forward, wanting more. He wound his arms around Athrun's neck and curled his fingers around locks of hair, moving his leg up to wrap around slender hips.

Athrun shoved him back, pinning his arms and looking into his eyes like a predator eyeing prey. They were both breathing hard, their bodies hot and ready to continue the love match. Athrun licked his lips and let his eyes drift down Shinn's body, then back up.

"How about this," he began, his voice so husky Shinn let out a small moan, "we take a shower together and go from there. If you still want this," here Athrun indicated his entire form, ready for action, "then you can have it. Just know that I won't be holding back even if I want to."

Shinn was so dazed by the passion he felt that he simply nodded, already leaning forward again for another taste. Athrun let his lips curl upward a bit at Shinn's reaction, then pulled him slowly toward the shower. Still staring at his captive, he turned the water on and stepped back, only to remember he had pants on. Shinn snapped into action and dug his fingers inside the waistband, tugging them down so Athrun could step out of them and into the shower. Shinn followed, as if pulled by an invisible string.

Before he could stop himself he launched himself at Athrun, locking himself in the same embrace as before. His leg wrapped tightly around the older man, lifting him slightly so his toes were the only thing touching the tile. His mouth moved against Athrun's almost viciously. He absently realized this was the first time they did anything remotely sexual since the hospital incident.

Reminding himself of that day and the following time that lead to this moment, Shinn's efforts were renewed. He was invigorated with Athrun's taste and scent, wanting everything and wanting it _now_.

Again Athrun dislodged them, using one hand to push Shinn's shoulder lightly back, then to nudge his leg down. Shinn gave him a quizzical look, then received a peck on the cheek.

"You never were good at being patient." Athrun rumbled, looking positively wicked yet restrained at the same time.

Shinn frowned, pushing his hips forward as a silent acknowledgement to the downstairs action. Athrun responded by reaching to grab the shampoo behind Shinn, then shoving it in the hands gliding low on his body.

"I only have one arm, ya know, so I need you to help me."

Shinn's furious expression brought the spark back, and Athrun had to smile. He actually missed that heated glare. Shinn caught on to this and smirked, another expression Athrun missed and physically reacted to, leaning his body closer. This time, as a tease, Shinn stepped back and lathered the shampoo in Athrun's hair.

The pout he received made him giggle, and all was right with the world at that moment. He knew he made the correct decision.

* * *

Cagalli sighed contentedly as she ran her hands through long pink hair. Lacus was reading, smiling at the tender touch, with Cagalli perched beside her. The way she stared at her made a pink blush paint her cheeks.

"Aren't you going to read those reports?" Lacus asked casually, lifting her eyes from her book to dart over at Cagalli.

"No." Cagalli said lazily, still playing with Lacus's hair. The other woman giggled, setting her book down and turning to face her lover full on.

Ever since they got the test results back, the two became even more affectionate. Cagalli had been so worried it made her physically ill with anxiety—not for herself, but for her girlfriend. Lacus was worried too, of course, but more accepting of whatever may come. When the good news came back—all clear, both of them—they finally thought things were picking up. And they also had a harder time getting out of bed.

They sat staring at each other for a while until a maid came in with more reports for Cagalli. The Orb Representative groaned and took the papers, reading them over. She requested—actually, _demanded_ described her efforts better—to know every detail involving the case of Rey and Roger for Shinn's sake. Athrun was vehement at first to know what would become of them, but then decided he probably shouldn't know until they had to get involved. She had a feeling that was Shinn's doing, who really wanted no part in it. Unfortunately, no one else was giving him any say in the matter.

Cagalli remained by her girlfriend's side, a hand in her hair absently curling around loose strands, as she surveyed the latest information. The process was long and rather boring, because it was difficult to decide which charge exactly to try the two with. Rey was no longer with the military, so even though Cagalli preferred a court-martial, he was handed over to the police. He might get off easy, which was why they wanted Shinn involved. The old man was given the "You're dying anyway, so why bother?" treatment until Cagalli practically forced them to take actions against his behavior at the hospital. For one, he sexually assaulted a patient (and a war hero at that), held him hostage, and threatened multiple people with a vial of his diseased blood. Being old wouldn't get him off of all that, she was going to make sure of it.

Rey was being pursued for rape charges, as well as holding Shinn hostage and shooting Athrun (not only another war hero and prominent son of a Chairman, but also a representative to Orb). Cagalli would much rather settle this in combat, a trial by fire, but peace didn't allow for what she had in mind. With his previous sexual assault charge and dishonorable discharge from the military, he was a repeat offender and would certainly be jailed for a while. Unfortunately, it probably wouldn't be enough with parole available. She was pushing for the maximum, but the defense was strong, claiming Shinn was not raped by Rey, just the old man, and trying to cite seduction and temptation on Shinn's part. Which was bull, but the court system was full of it anyway.

She sighed in a more exasperated tone and rubbed her temples. Lacus put a hand around her shoulder and leaned in, reading the reports as Cagalli tilted her head back with her eyes closed.

"Do you really think they could get away with this?" she asked in a soft voice.

"If Shinn doesn't do anything, probably." Cagalli muttered. "It looks like I'll be paying more close attention to the law system from now on if this is the crap they're giving me."

"Well, the circumstances _are_ a bit complicated. The courts don't have a way to sort everything out unless it's black and white." Lacus, always the voice of reason, told her.

"I know. But it's simple to me: Rey and that old badger should be put away for life. Preferably permanently put away in a hole, but apparently I can't just execute people who hurt my friends."

Lacus giggled again. "That would make you a dictator, dear."

"That's what they keep telling me. With the council, though, it doesn't sound so bad. They're the ones who always cause me so much trouble in the first place." She grumbled.

"We'll just have to convince Shinn to testify and gather strong evidence."

"There's plenty of evidence. The hospital staff can attest to what happened, there's even video footage of it. The problem is determining Shinn's fault."

"He's the victim."

"I know, but the defense is trying to say he seduced them or something ridiculous like that. Anything to get them off on a lighter punishment."

Lacus frowned, resting her head on Cagalli's shoulder as her arms wrapped around her neck.

"Ugh, let's move away from this stupid subject." Cagalli snarled and threw the papers on the ground. Lacus was more amused than threatened by her anger, nuzzling closer.

"Yes, let's talk about other things."

"When is your next concert? It's coming up soon, right?" Cagalli asked.

"Mhm." Lacus replied in her neck, beginning to play with blonde tresses. "My final tour before retirement."

"Remind me why you're retiring again?"

"Because I'd rather spend more time with you, and you're busy enough as it is. Plus, we'll need _someone_ to take care of the children…"

Cagalli popped up at that. "What children?"

Lacus looked surprised by her reaction. "You know, if we ever decide to have any. I'd like to adopt some of those orphans, give them a nice home and loving family."

Cagalli relaxed, leaning back again. "You scared me for a moment. I wish I could retire from being representative."

"But you can, can't you?" Lacus asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh, right, I can."

"But you're a good representative. The council would make all kinds of silly decisions without you. Orb might fall into the ocean if you're not at the helm."

Cagalli smiled at the reassuring words, clutching the hand draped around her neck. "Thanks love, that makes dealing with those idiots a lot easier knowing all hell would break loose if I left."

"You're welcome, dear." Lacus cooed in her ear.

"I think we should move on once again." Cagalli hinted with a small grin.

"Mm, and perhaps change scenery. I have an urge to take a light afternoon nap." Lacus replied in the same deceptive tone.

"I think I'll join you."

"We won't be getting any sleep if you do that."

"Of course, 'tis the point."

* * *

Kira was alone. He looked down at his phone, trying to decide whether to text Shinn or not. He had to admit he was falling for the younger man, and falling _hard_. He knew Athrun was nearly at his wit's end, and messing around with Shinn probably wasn't helping matters. But he couldn't help it—he really liked being around the crimson eyed soldier, and thought they were doing a lot of good by going out together. He knew Shinn still wasn't over what happened, and the relationship between him and Athrun was still tense, but he hoped by taking Shinn away he was helping out a bit.

Then again, if things got too far, that relationship would end. He didn't want that. He still longed for Athrun, too, and wanted to see them mend. So going any further probably wasn't a good idea. But still, if it helped…

Kira fell back onto his bed, still staring at his phone. A picture of the three men at the beach that one day was on the screen. He couldn't stop staring at it. He wanted that again.

Suddenly he got an idea. Grinning to himself, he texted Athrun instead.

* * *

The bathroom was steamy, and the two men going at it over the sink only made the room hotter, moisture forming on the mirror and countertop. A ringtone alerted them to the rest of the world as Athrun came up for air, looking at the door as if wondering whether he should check his phone. Shinn tugged his head back around and swallowed his protest in a kiss, quickly ending any thoughts of a distraction.

* * *

Kira frowned after not receiving an immediate answer. Growing impatient and bored, he decided to try Shinn's phone next, just in case…Athrun lost his phone, or wasn't near it, or it got stepped on by a giant fire-breathing lizard. It could happen, he watched those really old Godzilla movies.

* * *

Another ringtone, this time a different tune, had the two confronting the world. They both stared at the door, as if they could see through it to their cell phones lying on the desk.

"Think it's important?" Shinn asked, his tone stating he doubted it was as important as continuing his fun time with Athrun.

"Might be." He replied, but made no move to release his hold.

* * *

Kira was getting desperate and very impatient. Two minutes passed and still no reply came from either man. He pouted, kicking his legs as he lay on his stomach glaring at his phone. He tried to will them to text back, but started to get a headache.

"Fine, be that way." He grumbled and set his phone aside, resting his head on his arms and staring at the wall. A few seconds later he scrambled for his phone, checking for a reply even though there was no notification tone. Huffing, he decided to dial their house phone.

* * *

"Oh for the love of all things sexual!" Shinn cried when they heard the house phone ringing.

Athrun had to agree as he finally stepped aside, grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around his hips as he walked out of the bathroom. Shinn made a disappointed noise and followed, staying attached to Athrun once he caught up. Athrun checked his cell phone as he answered the house phone, knowing it was Kira before the man even spoke.

"Can't talk right now, Shinn and I are finally having sex."

The other line was silent for a moment. Athrun's mouth curved to a smirk as he imagined Kira's reaction.

"_That's great! I'm so glad for you! What happened to make the change?_" Kira finally asked.

"If I tell you, that would mean we would have to stop." Athrun asked, holding back laughter. Shinn was also smiling, realizing what he was up to. They enjoyed messing with Kira a bit too much.

"_Wait…didn't you stop to answer this?_"

"Does it _sound_ like I stopped?" Athrun said and held the phone close to Shinn, who moaned dramatically for effect before starting a round of snickers.

The line was silent again as Athrun bit his lip to keep from bursting into laughter. It was just too easy.

"_Uh, that's a bit weird, Athrun._"

Athrun clutched the phone tight and leaned into the desk, his body shaking with silent laughter. Shinn was chuckling beside him.

"_Wait, why is he laughing?_" Kira asked. "_Heyyyy! That wasn't very nice Athrun, getting my hopes up and everything!_" he whined once he realized they were pulling a trick on him.

Athrun let himself roar with laughter, Shinn adding loudly to the noise. He could hear Kira muttering curses on the other end, clearly hurt by their joke.

"In all honesty…we _were_ getting close." Athrun said once he was over the laughing fit. Shinn wrapped his arms around his waist, cuddling up to him.

"_Oh, did I ruin the moment? Sorry for interrupting…_"

"It's alright Kira. What's up? You were texting us, right?"

"_Yeahhh…_"

"Well?"

"_Oh! I thought we could all go out together. Like on a date. As a threesome. If that's okay with you guys. If you'd rather stay home and fuck that's fine too._"

Athrun tried not to laugh again. The idea of the three of them going out made him smile. He wanted to see Kira and also spend time with Shinn, as well as observe their relationship. Plus, if he could get lucky twice…that would be nice as well.

"What did you have in mind?" Athrun asked, that seductive tone creeping into his voice. Shinn looked up at him, curious.

"_Um, maybe the beach?_"

"Beach with Kira?" Athrun asked Shinn.

"All three of us?" Shinn replied. Athrun nodded. "Yeah! Gimme." He demanded and took the phone from him.

"You want all of us to go on a date?"

"_Oh, hi Shinn. Sorry for interrupting sex with Athrun._"

"Haha, it's okay. I think it's a good idea for us to go out."

"_Unless you'd rather stay…_"

Shinn eyed Athrun, licking his lips, then imagined the three of them at the beach. Shirtless. Wet. Tanned by the sun.

"Let's do it."

"_Great! Want me to pick you up? I can be over in a few minutes._" Kira sounded like he was already heading out the door.

"Sure, just let us get some clothes on first." Shinn chuckled and handed the phone back to Athrun so he could rummage around for his swim trunks.

"_Oh, you guys really were…_"

"Don't think too hard about that. So you're heading over?" Athrun said.

"_Yeah, I was really bored and was thinking of texting Shinn, when I was staring at our picture from the beach a while back and said to myself, 'Hey, we should do that again' and so I called you and—,_"

"Mhmmm." Athrun murmured, too busy staring at Shinn's bare ass to contribute much to the conversation, much less hear what Kira was babbling on about.

"_Well, seeing as you sound preoccupied, I'm going to hang up now. I'll be over soon, so try not to…um…get too far into anything…_"

"Yeah, uh huh." Athrun replied, still clearly not paying attention. They hung up at the same time as Athrun stalked over to Shinn, hugging him tightly to himself and running his hands over the front of his body.

"Kira will be here soon, we should probably find our beach stuff." Shinn said, but still leaned back into Athrun. He lifted his hand to Athrun's chin as he looked up into emerald eyes.

"He can wait a bit."

* * *

**-Author's Note: Well isn't that sweet? I think my writing has matured a lot, what with the sexual stuff being a bit more descriptive and the chapter consisting of equal amounts dialogue and action. Go me! Anyway, rest assured this fic is still going on. I thought about ending it here, but I want to revisit the beach and have a few more things planned for our trio. I mean, they gotta fight it out and then have sex, right? I may not write out the whole thing, as I'm still getting used to smut, but this was just a taste. If you have any comments, questions, ideas, etc. please let me know in your review! Peace-**


	17. Chapter 17: Which Way To The Beach?

**Chapter 17: Which Way to the Beach?**

**Disclaimer: I wish.**

**Warning: Um…yeah. I don't even know so…prepare yourself for two big moments of this whole fic: sex (mostly citrus) and fighting.**

* * *

"_Kira will be here soon, we should probably find our beach stuff." Shinn said, but still leaned back into Athrun. He lifted his hand to Athrun's chin as he looked up into emerald eyes._

"_He can wait a bit."_

Kira indeed waited outside their door for a few minutes, knocking and ringing the doorbell, scowling to himself. When they received the test results for everyone, Shinn was the only one who came up positive for the STD. It was a bitter victory for the group, but at least they started treatment immediately. Thankfully, since it was at the very beginning of the disease, they were able to cure it before any damage could occur. It was still a frightful time for them all, and Athrun…well, Kira seriously wondered what was going on in his friend's head at the time. On the outside he seemed normal enough, but sometimes he got this crazed look in his eye that made Kira shudder, reminding him of the car ride when he snapped.

But recently Shinn was cleared by the doctors, assured that it was safe to have sex again and the syphilis was gone. They all celebrated with cake and a party. When Kira left, he thought for sure the two would be up all night with their own private party. It turned out Athrun didn't take the opportunity, which struck Kira as odd, but made sense in a way.

Hearing that they were getting close to actually doing the deed made him a bit proud but nervous. He knew why Shinn hesitated in the past—they talked a lot about that—but he also knew Athrun. His balls would match his hair if he went any longer without relieving some of that sexual tension. Kira was tempted to lay himself out with just an apple in his mouth, but figured that might not help matters. Plus, all that sexual tension was reserved for Shinn anyway.

Although he may not have to worry if they weren't going to answer the door any time soon. Kira peered around into the windows, seeing nothing but furniture. He contemplated calling or texting again, but had second thoughts. Let them have sex, or drag their asses out to the beach? It was such a hard decision…

"How long you gonna stand there, Kira?" Athrun asked, leaning against the doorframe in trunks and shades. The way he said his name made Kira shudder again, but not out of fear.

He grinned in response. "Just waiting for you two to finish up whatever you were doing."

"We're done now, so let's go." Shinn answered, popping up behind Athrun and leading the way.

The bluenette smirked, his eyes unreadable behind those sunglasses as he sauntered after Shinn. Kira blinked and grinned wider, following them.

"Want me to drive?" Athrun asked, turning to Kira

"Uhhh, no thanks. I still haven't recovered from the last time you drove. Besides, your arm still isn't healed."

Athrun burst into raucous laughter and Kira could tell he was in a feisty mood. Today was going to be good, he just knew it.

The couple had a hard time deciding who should sit in front beside Kira, so Athrun just hopped in the back and dragged Shinn in with him.

"To the beach, chauffeur!"

"Hey, I'm not just playing driver." Kira called back. "And no funny business back there without me!"

He was greeted with giggling and horseplay: Athrun tickling Shinn who in turn was trying to fight back with tickle attacks of his own. Kira rolled his eyes but smiled, putting the car in gear and heading toward the beach.

* * *

"Hey Kira, what do you think would happen if Athrun really did blow his shit?" Shinn asked out of nowhere. The aforementioned man was off getting them treats in an attempt to discover what he would come back to by leaving them alone together.

Kira was surprised at the sudden question. They discussed it lightly before, Shinn usually asking what Athrun was like when he was angry and out of control. But they never went too far into it because it freaked Shinn out.

"Um…why?"

"I'm just curious." Shinn shrugged.

"Okay, are we talking about an orgasm or full on rage face?" Kira asked, because the phrase "blow his shit" could indicate multiple connotations. He almost hoped Shinn was joking altogether.

Shinn had to laugh at Kira's question. "Rage face." He managed between snorts.

Seeing that Shinn was serious, Kira mentally shrugged and provided an answer. "Well…it's not pretty. He kinda got like that when he went to kill Rey and save you at the hospital. I thought he was going to kill me." Shinn sobered at that, but nodded for Kira to continue. "He gets pretty scary, Shinn, but it's more about him being protective of the people he loves. I know you try not to get him angry at you, but if he keeps bottling it up, when he finally bursts…"

"It'll be bad." Shinn concluded for him.

"Right."

"Sooo, I should make him blow his shit…before he…blows his…shit." Shinn replied, looking confused.

"Um…maybe? I'm confused now. Do you _want_ to make him blow his shit? And why do we keep using that phrase?"

"Because it's fun to say, and…yeah. I wanna get it over with."

"Fun to say? 'Blowing his shit' sounds…just gross."

"Who's blowing what? I want in on this." Athrun asked as he strutted back to their spot on the beach, carrying a tray of ice cream cones.

"Could you walk any more like a peacock?" Shinn laughed, quickly diverting the conversation. Or so he thought.

"Cocks and blowing, I like where this conversation is heading." His lover leered and sat down on his towel.

"Oh wow Athrun." Kira sighed. Those shades were turned on him and he gulped.

"Feeling neglected over there?"

"Ummm…"

"So what were you guys talking about? I thought you'd be rolling around in the sand when I got back. I'm kinda disappointed." Athrun hinted.

"What does _that_ mean?" Shinn asked, looking accusatory.

"It means I wanna know what you two were talking about." Athrun countered, raising an eyebrow over the rim of his shades.

"Oh no, our diversionary tactics are failing! Quick, to Plan B!" Shinn replied humorously and made gestures to Kira.

"Huh?"

"You were supposed to distract him."

"Oh…"

Athrun chuckled, ruffling Kira's hair. "Alright, be that way. No ice cream for you." He said, taking a bite out of his chocolate swirl cone.

"ICE CREAM!" Shinn squealed, tackling the man and grabbing for his strawberry cone.

"Nope." Athrun replied and licked the pink ice cream.

"That's not going to deter me."

As they wrestled, Kira snatched his vanilla cone and started licking as he watched the two. They were being playful, fun, relaxed. It was nice to see them this way.

"You're gonna get sand in the ice cream if you don't stop." Athrun warned in a light tone.

"Then give me my strawberry!" Shinn demanded.

As Athrun handed over the delicious cold treat, he smiled and licked the dripping chocolate running down his cone. Shinn also licked his cone suggestively, eyes on Athrun.

As they slurped provocatively at each other, Kira wondered if other beach goers were becoming aroused or disgusted. He knew which one he felt as he pulled his legs up, unable to look away.

"Want some of my chocolate, Kira?" Athrun offered when he caught him staring.

"No, have my strawberry!" Shinn added, shoving Athrun's hand away.

Kira continued licking his vanilla. "I think I should've added nuts."

That statement caused the two to fall over one another, their sides aching from so much laughter and fun. Kira smirked behind his ice cream at his well-played move. Three could play at that game.

* * *

When they arrived home, Shinn decided to put his plan into action. Kira declined the invitation to stay the night, wanting the two to continue their bonding time. He actually forgot about Shinn's words earlier, or else he would have parked it on the couch. As he left, he kept thinking that he was forgetting something important, checking to make sure he had his beach supplies. Coming up with nothing missing, he shrugged and drove home.

Athrun was looking over some paperwork at the kitchen table and Shinn joined him. He wondered how exactly to start out and bit his lip as he thought it over, until a simple idea came to mind.

_Poke._

Athrun glanced over and Shinn stared intently at a tile on the countertop. Adjusting his shoulder, Athrun looked back at his papers.

_Poke._

Athrun slowly turned his head to face Shinn, who was munching on an apple from the fruit basket in front of him. He turned back to his papers again, shooting a look at Shinn a few times.

_Poke._

"Shinn, what are you doing?"

"Hmm?"

Athrun raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer, while Shinn gave his best innocent face. Eyes big, mouth small, head slightly tilted to the side.

"I need to focus on this right now."

"Mkay."

Athrun stared at him for a few more minutes, then picked up a pen to sign the document he'd been staring at.

The next poke made him jerk the pen, messing up his signature. He gripped the utensil tightly and took a deep breath, wondering why Shinn was trying to drive him insane.

Shinn didn't mean to ruin the document, but he was glad to notice his tactic was working. Biting his lip again, half out of amusement and half out of fear, he moved to poke Athrun again.

The tormented one turned his head to look at Shinn's finger before it hit its mark. Shinn paused, seeing that Athrun caught him. He moved forward a bit more, testing the waters, his eyes on Athrun's as they flicked up to meet his gaze, holding it for a moment. Those eyes were dark, and Shinn was drawn in.

Shinn slowly pulled his arm back and went back to nibbling on random food he could find, darting his eyes over to see Athrun still staring at him.

"I need to get these done right now, so please stop." The calm voice did not hide the oncoming storm, resting just beneath the surface of Athrun's words.

Shinn bit into a pear, pretending he didn't hear. Athrun eventually returned to his paperwork, scribbling his name after reading the fine print. Shinn was taking the time to decide whether to keep going or quit while he was ahead. When the bluenette set the pen down, he felt a light shove.

He closed his eyes and took another steadying breath. Shinn was still pretending not to be the culprit, so after a moment Athrun went back to stacking the finished documents. Before the devious one could make another move, Athrun roughly pushed Shinn from his chair, grabbing his arm as he slid out of the seat before he could hit the floor. He wasn't even looking until the squeak and quick flash of red eyes landed on him.

"Stop, Shinn."

"Stop what?" Shinn asked after readjusting himself in the chair. He took another bite of the pear.

"Whatever you're doing. I can't play right now."

"I'm not doing anything." Shinn replied in an innocent voice.

Athrun twitched. "So an invisible monster was poking me?"

Shinn shrugged. "Wasn't me."

Athrun gaped. "Yes it was!"

"Nope." Shinn shook his head. "I was just minding my own business until you shoved me. Rude."

Athrun tried to calm himself by sighing. When they returned home from the beach he was reminded of the work he was supposed to be doing and had been sitting for a few hours trying to get caught up. He was tired and a bit grumpy with all the politics, the fun of the day seeping out of him. Now was _not_ the time to start messing with him. Why was Shinn—

Oh, he knew where this was going.

"Don't even think about it." Athrun all but growled as he caught on to Shinn's plan.

"Think about what?" Shinn asked, giving him a curious expression. Athrun could see the strain in Shinn's eyes as he wondered what he would do next.

"Just don't."

"Don't _what_? Are you hearing voices or something?"

"Shinn." said seriously.

"Athrun." said mockingly.

Athrun abruptly stood, making Shinn lean back instinctively until he regained his composure. He watched his boyfriend walk past him, papers in hand, as he went to the study. Putting his big boy pants on (figuratively speaking), he followed. Athrun was intent on ignoring him as he played with the blue hair, perched over his shoulder, as he sat in the chair behind his desk to read.

Shinn frowned. This was going nowhere. He didn't want to get into a verbal argument to lead into the more physical fighting, because he couldn't handle the accusations Athrun might throw, nor could he unleash his own feelings just yet. But he didn't want them to get to that point and end up broken afterward, literally or mentally. Time to up the ante.

Shinn bumped into the chair as he moved around to find a book of his own. Athrun let out an annoyed sound but held his temper in check, glaring at Shinn's back. Upon finding a suitable read, Shinn plopped down in Athrun's lap none too gently. After a grunt, Athrun leaned back and groaned.

"Shinn, seriously. I'm not in the mood."

Shinn readjusted himself, pushing back against Athrun so his spine dug into his chest.

"Ow." Athrun growled.

"Not my fault you're so bony. I can't get comfortable." Shinn said lightly, keeping his eyes on his book. He was trying not to look at Athrun, lest he lose his nerve.

"Then maybe you should get _off_." He bit out.

"Make me."

The challenge was clear and set. Shinn could feel regret on his tongue but swallowed it back, willing his limbs to stay steady instead of tremble. He tried to recall the ferocity he had on the _Minerva_, bringing back the animosity he used to feel for the Atthas and Athrun Zala as a way to stand his ground against the coming storm. He could feel it in the way Athrun's muscles bunched together again, like they did this morning. His lover's body was tense beneath him from restraining himself, but he knew soon it would snap.

He was slightly surprised when he was lifted up and placed beside the chair. Athrun's arm was still in a sling. Shinn gazed in wonderment at his boyfriend, almost dropping the book as he realized…this might not end well. Should he back out now? He frowned as he thought of his conversation with Kira at the beach. If Athrun kept bottling up his frustrations, he would snap. Shinn wasn't prepared for that. They needed to let it out _now_.

Shinn slowly set the book down, trying not to signal his next move as he moved around to the other side of Athrun. His lover watched him from his periphery vision with a cold look, but assumed Shinn would back down now and leave.

He was wrong, however, when a punch sent pain shooting through his still-injured arm, making him hiss and double over, clutching the appendage. Shinn jumped back, placing his hands behind him in another innocent posture.

"What the hell Shinn?!" Athrun yelled, glaring.

"Just checking on your arm. Still hurt?" Shinn asked with an easy tone, swinging his arms back and forth to hide the nervous tension in his limbs.

Athrun narrowed his eyes slightly but was too angry to care what that was supposed to mean. "Yes." He hissed again.

"Good." Shinn replied and kicked the chair back, putting his arms up in a fighting stance. It was then he realized he was only wearing one of Athrun's shirts, and briefly wondered if he should've changed before initiating—

He was tackled before he could finish the thought, Athrun moving so fast he had the man pinned even with one arm.

"Dammit Shinn! This is _not_ the time!"

Shinn got over his surprise and apprehension to reply, "I think it's the perfect time. You aren't fully recovered."

"Exactly!"

"Which means you can't hurt me as much."

Athrun paused. "What?" he snapped.

Shinn shrugged beneath him. "I thought we should spar." Athrun could feel light trembling coming from him and knew Shinn was getting scared but trying to keep it at bay.

"If you think that, you're going to have a bad time. Because you're wrong." (1)

Shinn honestly looked surprised, not only by the words, but the sincerity and anger he saw in the green eyes hovering over him.

"I-I…but…" he was still being held down and couldn't hold back slight tremors in his limbs. He couldn't hold on to the anger he used to feel, because he was over that. He had nothing to hold onto anymore. Before dwelling on that, he tried to think of a way to save this situation. "We need this."

"Is this the same thing about the sex? Because you can't have both."

"Well…if we wait…"

"Shinn." Athrun sighed, and he was starting to lose his anger.

Noticing this, Shinn sent up a prayer and did the unthinkable. He kicked upward in between Athrun's legs and scrambled away as the man doubled over again, loosening his grip.

'_Shit shit shit shit'_ he thought as he ran out of the study.

"SHIIIIIIIINN!" (2)

He held back a squeak, hiding behind the door and trying to regain his breath, hoping he wouldn't be returning to the hospital. This was a stupid idea. A _really_ stupid idea. He should've stopped. He could hear it in Athrun's voice.

The man had snapped.

"Alright come here so I can return the favor you little shit!" he roared, rounding the corner in SEED mode, eyes large and completely green.

Shinn let out a yelp and darted away, but he wasn't fast enough. Athrun caught his arm and squeezed tight as he pulled Shinn back, turning him and bringing up his knee. Shinn cried out again and fell, clutching Athrun's leg. Tears sprang up in his eyes and he bit his lip.

"Yeah, fuckin' hurts doesn't it?" Athrun yelled again, grabbing a fist full of Shinn's hair.

He was roughly pulled up, still focused on the pain in his groin, and braced himself. The punch sent him flailing back into the kitchen counter, bringing his hand up to his jaw. He could taste blood. Athrun advanced but stopped at Shinn's expression when he realized he was suckered in to the fight.

"Feel better now?" Shinn asked shakily, still rubbing his mouth and clinging tightly to the counter. He didn't know if Athrun would stop at this point.

"No."

Shinn's eyes widened. "Do you want to hit me again?" he asked, incredulous.

"No!"

Athrun limped over, reaching for Shinn and tugging him into an embrace. "Why did you do that?"

"I thought…"

Athrun shook his head when Shinn trailed off, stepping back to look at him. A bruise was forming on the right side of Shinn's jaw and lip. He touched it gently and Shinn winced but didn't pull away. He frowned. "Isn't this where I punched you before?"

"I think so." Shinn replied hoarsely.

"And you honestly thought this was a good idea."

"I figured if you were still injured it wouldn't be as bad. But you…you're really strong Athrun. I'm sorry for getting you angry like that."

The fear yet sense of accomplishment he heard in Shinn's voice made the man before him faintly proud of their progress, but disappointed in what it took to get this far. "You should let me make those decisions from now on, then, kid."

Shinn reluctantly nodded his assent and Athrun cupped his cheek, brushing his lips over the swelling and planting a light kiss on those lips. Then he grinned. "Should I kiss your other injury to make it better?"

Shinn blushed, the first time since…who knew when. His mouth worked like a fish, opening and closing with no words coming out.

"Maybe…maybe I should kiss yours first, you know, since I started it." He finally said, gaining back some bravado.

"And next time you want to fight," Athrun whispered in Shinn's ear, his voice low, "you should just say so."

The husky quality in his voice made Shinn relax more, closing his eyes and humming deep in his throat. That accomplished, Athrun hefted him over his shoulder, unable to scoop him up due to his arm in a sling. Shinn eyed his back curiously but allowed the manhandling, then was plopped down on the bed. Athrun chucked the sling and stretched his arm, rotating his shoulder before crawling across the bed over Shinn, who laid with his arms above his head, slowly smirking at the animalistic display and rolling his hips in anticipation.

"This isn't exactly what I meant about 'rough' sex, but it'll do."

"You want me to beat you up a little more?" Athrun asked.

Shinn shook his head. "No baby, be gentle."

* * *

Kira's eyes flew wide open as he finally realized what had been bugging him all day. He was recounting the day over before he went to sleep, thinking of the fun times they had at the beach, and remembered the conversation he and Shinn had.

"Shit, he's gonna get himself killed." He breathed and jumped out of bed to grab his keys and fly toward his car. Racing over to the Zala mansion, he wondered if he was too late this time. Maybe he should've just gone to the hospital…

He nearly ran over the curb as he parked in front of the gate and scampered up before the guards could open it, eyeing the strange scene and sharing a knowing glance. They knew it was Kira, therefore decided it was none of their business why he was crawling over the fence dressed in dinosaur boxers. Absolutely nooooo judgment there. Between all the shit they saw at this place, they had enough blackmail to fill Santa's bag.

"AAAAATHRUUUUUUNNN!"

"Oh god Shinn why!" Kira yelled and slammed into the door. Searching for his spare key, he could hear Shinn's screams from the second floor. He hastily put it in and turned frantically, sliding across the tile once he was inside and clawing his way up the stairs.

When he burst through their bedroom door, the screams turned to moans.

"Oh, Athruuuun. Aaaath…ruuun…" Shinn was panting underneath Athrun, who turned his head to see Kira at the door. The younger man's arms were slung loosely around the older's neck, their bodies slick and practically joined together beneath the sheets.

Kira's mouth hung open. Those weren't screams of pain he heard…

Suddenly he rethought everything and tried to move backward, but he was stuck staring at the scene before him. Athrun stared back, a slow smirk forming.

"Care to join us, dinosaur drawers?"

* * *

**-Author's Note: I was listening to Ludo's "Horror of Our Love" while writing the poking scene between Shinn and Athrun. Yeah. Annnd, dunno where to go from here. I kind of want to keep this going for when I want some fluff or interaction between the three, but I don't have anything planned to move forward. So! It's up to you guys. Should I continue working on the threesome relationship, or leave it here for your imaginations? I may even go back to the past, at the beginning of their relationship in some flashbacks. Let me know in a review, as well as any comments, questions, and ideas!**

**(1)Yes, that's from a meme. I couldn't resist.**

**(2)Think of Spock yelling "KHAAAAAAAAN!" **

**Peace-**


	18. Chapter 18: Humble Beginnings

**Chapter 18: Humble Beginnings**

**Disclaimer: Pffft. I don't own Gundam Seed Destiny. Otherwise this shit would be canon and Athrun would be a bigger manwhore than he already is.**

**Warning: Mentions of sexual stuff, strong language. The usual.**

_Heyyyyyy guess what? I've decided to write a prequel, at the start of Kira and Athrun's relationship. Yep. I'm not sure how soon it will be out, but the first chapter is already underway. Until then, here's a little teaser~_

* * *

"_Care to join us, dinosaur drawers?"_

Kira finally regained motor functions, his brain finished processed the scene before him. Mmmmmkay.

"Uh…"

"Wha…Kira?" Shinn panted, sitting up on his elbows and looking around Athrun. "Why…are you in your pajamas?"

Kira looked down and then rubbed the back of his head. "Erm, sorry. I just…I remembered our conversation at the beach and…thought you were in trouble."

Athrun quirked a brow and turned back to Shinn. The younger man frowned in confusion, but then his face showed recognition. He leaned back slightly, ignoring Athrun's expectant expression. "Oh, right. I'll uh…tell you about it later. Although…you could've just called."

"Yeah, why _did_ you come storming in here during the middle of the night?" Athrun asked.

"I…just wanted to…" Kira began but trailed off. He honestly had no idea why he felt the need to drive all the way over here so late. Was it instinctual fear based on their recent experiences? They were all still shaken up from the hospital incident, with Rey and the child molester coming after Shinn, so there was a reason to feel anxious. Did Kira honestly fear for Shinn's life, and fear Athrun would actually hurt him? Or perhaps he wanted to be more involved in their relationship. Maybe he just wanted to take that next step because he was tired of feeling left out and lonely. Lacus and Cagalli were a little love nest, and these two were going good except for the impending doom of Athrun's explosion…

"Kira! Come back to earth!" Athrun was saying, waving his hands in front of Kira's face. When did he get off the bed to stand in front of him? Was he still…?

"Um, s-sorry. I'll uh, just go now." Kira stammered, blushing and trying to ignore the full view he was receiving. He was having a hard time controlling his own feelings at the moment, but just wasn't ready to step forward.

"No, wait. You came all this way for a reason." Athrun said, reaching out to take Kira's arm. He looked back to Shinn, who was still on the bed sitting up and watching them. "Are you two going to explain what this is all about?"

Athrun's serious expression made Kira nervous all over again. "Did you, I mean, have you…" he began, then ducked his head and leaned forward a little. In a small, uneasy voice, he asked, "Have you exploded yet?"

Athrun blinked. Tilted his head to the side. "…are you asking if I had an orgasm? _That's_ why you drove all the way over here?"

"N-no! No, no, that's not what I mean. See, Shinn and I have been talking about getting you to blow your shit and—,"

"Ohhhh, now I understand. I was really worried about you for a moment there, Kira." Athrun cut in, letting go and sitting on the bed. "Well, we had our little fight, got it all out, and then…we fucked." He shrugged.

Shinn covered his face and fell back onto the bed. "This is so awkward you guys." He mumbled.

"Wait…you fought?" Kira asked, concern in his voice and the way he bunched his eyebrows.

"Not a bad one. Shinn instigated, trying to get me angry. But we made up, so everything's fine."

"It's no big deal, Kira. I'm fine." Shinn added after seeing the brunette's wary expression.

Athrun once again glanced from one to the other. "You were that worried about him?" he asked in a low voice.

Shinn saw the muscles bunch up again in Athrun's back, could feel the strain as he watched, and heard the hint of distrust in his voice. He reached out and gently laid a hand on Athrun's shoulder, who tensed but remained still.

"I'm not…some animal. You have to _trust_ me. Both of you." He all but growled.

"We do…" Shinn whispered soothingly.

"Obviously you don't."

"I'm sorry. I should never have brought it up." Kira said quickly.

Before Shinn could add anything, Athrun spoke up again. "Why are you acting like this?" he looked at both of them, measuring their expressions and reactions. They were careful, hesitant, like he was a bear out in the wild they happened to stumble upon and were trying to retreat from. He knew what they thought of him because of how cautious they were being. It just made him angrier, knowing they didn't trust him and wondering what went wrong.

He wished things were back to how they were, when they first met.

_Athrun looked over at the other pilot in the lounge, stretched out on the couch as they waited for the battle to begin. The kid was a pain in the ass, disobedient, immature, and young. Very young. But he had potential as a pilot…and a person. He smiled, thinking he could grow to like this kid if given the chance. He received a nasty look in response, which he just shook off._

Athrun sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, resting his elbows on his knees. Kira and Shinn were still silent, watching him closely. He remembered the tension and resistance Shinn put up in the beginning, how rocky and turbulent their relationship was at first. He wanted to give up multiple times, but something drew him to the boy.

Shinn moved closer, wrapping his arms around him. "I don't want this to ruin the moment. That was…the most beautiful thing I ever experienced. You…you are awesome." He whispered.

The bluenette wanted to say something sexual and witty. Wanted to badly.

"I messed things up again, didn't I? Maybe I should just stay away and let you guys have your space. Sorry, again. I didn't mean to…" Kira mumbled and backed out of the room.

"Wait, stay here for the night. You should get some rest." Shinn told him. Athrun remained still and silent, going through everything in his mind. He was smart enough to keep himself level-headed, but even the responsible ones needed to give in to their instincts every once in a while. He wasn't sure how to fix this.

Kira started shaking his head. "I don't know…"

"Just take a guest room. We can talk everything over in the morning. I don't want you driving back this late." Shinn replied.

Kira finally nodded, looking at Athrun for a moment before he went into the next room. Shinn brushed some hair out of Athrun's face, who touched Shinn's hand, leaning back into him. Shinn smile and curled his finger in the other man's hair, remembering how much of a brat he used to be. He would purposely get on Athrun's nerves just to watch him get all huffy and preachy, for the excitement of seeing him one day snap. He also enjoyed the restraint he showed, and the strength he possessed when being pushed to the boundaries.

_Shinn slammed him against the lockers, smirking slightly at the display of dominance. It was short-lived as he was pushed back and shoved to the ground, with Athrun on top with that smug look. He growled, flailing with his fists as he scrambled to switch their positions. A crowd was forming to watch their little sparring session, and he couldn't have them think he was a weakling or coward._

_He also didn't want anyone to know how much he enjoyed being this close to the superior officer. Being able to touch him like this, and be touched, filled a hole inside of him. Athrun's persistence completed him in some way, despite how annoying and painful it got to hear him constantly lecturing him. But that was the thing, he was always teaching him. _

Shinn never realized how important those lessons were until now. He knew he was drawn to the older man from day one. He was stronger, better in every way. Instead of seeing him as a role model, he was made into competition. Shinn wanted to be him, desperately wanted what he thought the man had. He got so frustrated when he couldn't live up to his own expectations, let alone Athrun's. He felt like he was never good enough. But to achieve the unattainable? That was a feat not many could boast of.

"I meant what I said. I mean, I thought I was the king of the bedroom, but you…you made it more than I ever knew it could be." Shinn whispered again.

"Flattery to calm me down?" Athrun asked half-heartedly.

Shinn frowned. "No. I love you. I love everything you are. Can't you tell how jealous I was—and still am—of the power you have? You have so much control, and you always have a plan. I always wanted to be like you, but was too much of a prick to admit it."

Athrun finally faced him. "Really?" He was genuinely surprised to hear those words, even though deep down he could tell it was the truth.

Shinn nodded, nuzzling his neck. "It's not you I'm afraid of. I trust you. I just still have my own issues. Kira knows that and just wants to protect me. It's kinda noble."

"And typical. He's always trying to protect someone like it's his calling." Athrun commented. "But I understand. I just thought maybe it would be different with me."

"If it helps, I'm closer to you than anyone. I've never given so much of myself to someone else the way I gave it to you. If anything, I trust you the most."

"So why do we still fight—," Athrun began but was silenced with a kiss. Shinn grabbed a fist full of Athrun's hair and captured his lips, proving that actions spoke louder than words.

* * *

Kira paced in the bedroom beside them, worrying about his own actions. He was running around like headless poultry, getting in everyone's way, making a mess of things. Shinn was lucky Athrun had so much self-restraint and wasn't some hothead like Yzak Joule, or else Kira could be arranging a funeral right now. He should have never said a word to the kid, never even come over. Why _did_ he come? He kept going back to that, to the feeling he had all day, nagging at him in the back of his mind, and how he felt when he finally recalled the conversation and decided to rush over. What did he expect to find or do? What was the point?

Now he just succeeded in ruining another moment for the two. He sat down on the bed, sullen, and hung his head. He wanted to talk to his sister or Lacus about this, but they were in their own little world of lesbian love. Plus, he would probably just end up messing up their relationship as well. He sighed, running his hands through his hair.

Who did that leave him with? He was alone, a third wheel, a distraction. After a moment tears dropped down to the floor, and he realized he was crying. It had been a long time since he last cried, and for much different reasons. War was almost a sanctuary compared to this, because at least then he had a purpose, he was needed, everything was clear. But when it came to love, Kira Yamato was no less coordinated than an awkward turtle making awkward babies (1).

The door creaked, alerting him to someone's presence. Quickly wiping away the tears, he glanced up to see Shinn standing in the doorway.

"Hey." Shinn said softly.

"Hey." Kira replied.

Shinn entered the room and closed the door, coming to sit beside him on the bed. "Look, I appreciate what you did, really I do. Athrun and I have been through some rough times lately and you've always been there to look out for me. When everyone said you were protective I never really believed them, but now I know for sure. You care about the people around you and will do anything for them, even if it means sacrificing yourself for their own happiness. It means a lot to me, because I've never had that before. Now I have you and Athrun, along with Cagalli and Lacus…so many people are looking out for me and care about me. I guess I just wanted to thank you, and that there's no need to worry."

Kira smiled weakly. "Thanks." He muttered, voice groggy with sleep and sorrow. "I just…" he paused, tightly closing his eyes.

"What is it?" Shinn asked, leaning toward him with a concerned expression.

"I feel like I don't belong anymore. With anyone. Everyone is so happy with each other, but I have no one." The brunette broke down.

"That's not true. You have us. You have me." Shinn replied softly, kissing his cheek. "You can come to me for anything, Kira. I want to return the favor for everything you've done for me."

Kira sniffed, wiping away more tears. "It didn't use to be this way." He began. Shinn knew a story was coming and laid a hand on Kira's shoulder for encouragement.

"Athrun and I…we were in love. It was chaotic at first, because of the circumstances, but it was love. He wasn't as rough or wild as he is now, but much the same as he always was. Even as childhood friends we adored each other, and nothing could tear us apart. It's not that I don't trust Athrun, but I know him. I know him so well…or at least I used to. He's beginning to change. It's not your fault, but he's built up this confidence which sometimes scares me. I think the reason is because I don't know what he's changing into. During the wars…I was so torn. I had to fight him, yet I loved him. He was my friend, and we almost killed each other. Going through that certainly changes a person, but I'm afraid our relationship changed too much over this course of the last war. We're just not the same people."

"Kira…I know it's not my place, but I think you should talk to him about this. I don't know what he was like in the first war, or when he was younger. I know him now, and sometimes it scares me too, but I still love him. I don't want to be the cause of your separation. I want you to be a part of this." Shinn told him.

Kira turned to him. "Really?" he asked breathlessly. Shinn nodded and was quickly embraced in a hug. He chuckled and they fell backward. Shinn wrapped his arms around Kira, rubbing his back, as the other man cried into his chest.

"I don't want you to be alone either, Kira."

* * *

Athrun listened on the other side of the wall. He wasn't sure how to feel about what was said. He knew he was different now, he could feel himself changing. Maybe it _was_ the last war, or maybe it was just a part of him inside that was finally letting go and giving him something else to hold onto. He felt bad about how he was treating Kira, though, because it was true that they were drifting apart. He was right, it didn't use to be like this.

But that was before Shinn came into his life. That was before everything he knew and cherished was torn away from him, completely destroying the worldview he once had. His eyes were finally open, his heart and mind were willing to accept the painful truth. Shattered, he was reborn.

But what was he reborn as?

* * *

Cagalli sat up in bed, thinking something wasn't right. Beside her, Lacus rubbed her eyes and made an attempt at speech. Cagalli's face was scrunched together as she tried to discover what the tingling feelings she felt meant. They usually had something to do with the boys and their mischief.

"Honey what's wrong?" Lacus murmured groggily.

"My shenanigans senses are tingling." She replied in a serious manner.

"You're what? Oh, that. Just go to sleep, they can't be up to something this late at night."

"But I can _feel it_ Lacus."

The woman sighed and turned over, leaving Cagalli to worry in the dark. She contemplated getting her phone out and sending some text messages, but realized Lacus was probably right. It was late, so what kind of trouble could they be getting into? Then again, this was Kira, Athrun, and Shinn. Trouble was their motto. It was their theme song. Snatching her phone, she texted her brother because he was the least likely to get mad at her for waking him in the middle of the night.

"Cagalli. Leave them alone." Lacus moaned when she saw the phone light.

"I'm just making sure Kira is okay. You know how he gets." Cagalli replied, staring at her screen.

"He's probably sleeping. Like you should be. Now."

Cagalli looked over and smiled at Lacus, then laid down to cuddle with her. "Alright, alright." She said, setting her phone down on the nightstand. They settled in, drifting off to sleep, when Cagalli's phone alerted them to a new text message. Lacus groaned and pulled the pillow over her head, while Cagalli eagerly grabbed her phone to see what Kira said.

"Oh…my…gundam." She breathed.

"What is it now?" Lacus asked grumpily.

"Athrun and Shinn had sex. But Kira was freaking out so went over to check on them and walked in during the middle of it."

Lacus sat up quickly, staring at the phone. "Oh my…"

* * *

**-Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait! I thought I finished this chapter and already uploaded it, but when I was checking today I realized it was unfinished! Anyway, I'm still going to continue this until...a resolution presents itself. Look for a crack side-fic for this, as well as the prequel! Any questions, comments, ideas, etc are welcome.**

**(1)Yes, that's a thing. Cookies to those who know it.**

**Don't forget about my Gundam site or the idea I had for the end of ****The Blood of Love****! Peace-**


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